The dreaded "Is everything ok with your meal?"

So at 4.5 months post-op I've gone out to eat a handful of times with my husband and son. Red Robin has been great, they have an awesome spicy chicken breast I get there. Anyways, LOL!  I obviously can't eat all my plate they bring me and I eat slowly so I ALWAYS get the worried faced server that comes back to the table asking me if "everything is ok with my meal" or "did you not like such and such?". It's kind of uncomfortable and awkward.

I eat what portion I allow myself and only dense protein with maybe a bite of vegetable and am content taking my leftovers home and having them for lunch AND dinner the next day. I feel like it's almost the "walk of shame" when they come up to you with their "oh no, she's not eating it" face and I never know what to say. I politely just say yes it's good and hope they leave. LOL. Just one of those things I guess we have to deal with now.

What did surprise me is that my plate tonight was so huge portion wise and I just sat there looking at it thinking before surgery I would have eaten this ENTIRE plate, had an appetizer to myself AND desert. Now that plate is GINORMOUS to me and feeds me for 3 meals!! 

I have not yet gone out to dinner but I have thought about how I am going to handle the same situation u descibed. I had read that when u get ur dinner u can also ask for a to go box n put half ur food in there this way they wont know how much u ate or did not eat just an idea :)

Yes, ask for the To Go box right away, when you meal comes.  Eat your tiny portion and just tell the server you weren't that hungry in the first place, but the food is great.

I have been in this situation and have actually found myself just telling the server the truth of my surgery and have no issues doing so.  I honestly don't care who knows or who I tell.  I find it amazing that so many people on this forum are some how ashamed of doing something that improves their health.  I never got that.  

Personally a woman I met at a picnic lunch about 4 years ago told me her story of her VSG and it was that story that got me motivated to do the same.  She quite literally saved my life.  

I have shared my story with so many people and they were amazed in most cases.  Who knows who's life I may have saved.  Don't for a minute believe that this isn't a life saving surgery.  In my case I have normal blood pressure and haven't taken any meds for blood pressure since one week before surgery which was 9 months ago.  The same is true of my diabetes meds and cholesterol meds.  Any one of those conditions could have killed me and in combination the likelihood was quite high.

Now if you choose not to be so bold for some reason then I would have you think about telling them that you had surgery without telling them which kind or any other details.  You could also mention while ordering that you aren't feeling well.  Either way you will figure out what works for you.  As I said I could care less what they think about my having a life saving surgery and I tell them about as much as I think that they may want to hear.  Sometimes they ask a ton of questions and are fascinated and sometimes not so much.  

Good luck in figuring out what works for you.

I would ask for a to go box as soon as I get my food. Fill it right away. This would also keep you from overeating. When they come back they don't know how much you put in your to go box and your plate is empty.

I have friends who dine cheap on it... But I am not "ok" with that approach so...

I sit down. I apologize for being a princess type in advance. Explain I have a food allergy and eat very small portions.

Eat what I wish, and then either package it myself, or when I happen to duck to the washroom whomever I am with asks for a container and I simply look grateful.
 

It works for me... I am better to pack my own at the table (allows me to just bring what I will want).

Some places modify my meal size for me... some I will order an appetizer to arrive with the meal also.

*shrug*

Tell them you are a princess type and eat very little... but be sweet and they gush over you and fawn over you at the end and tell you how sweet you are. It's like dinner and an ego boost. *grin*

Yeah, I would never call myself a princess. No thanks. Ugh

A couple of things:

1) Once you are skinny, they stop asking you this. Apparently thin people don't eat the entire meal all the time. No one has asked me this in YEARS

2) When they ask if it's okay, tell them how great it is and ask for the box then, if you haven't already.

3) See #1. LOL

LOL!  Pre-Op I was sitting at lunch alone (it was a buffet ;-) next to two older women (in their mid-60s), very dainty, very thin, well dressed ladies.  I was eating my HUGE plate full of food, and looked over at theirs.  I was BAFFLED.  They had small to tiny sized portions - AT A BUFFET - and they slowly picked at their food....maybe taking a bite every 5 minutes.  How strange.  They were like aliens.  This was delicious Persian Buffett, super yummy food...and they could have cared less.

 

But, I guess, now that I am Post-Op, I guess that will be me?  I hope!

It's funny, I was going to make the exact same observation.  No one has made that comment to me in years as well, but they did all the time in the beginning.  Now, they just assume that I eat small portions and am picky with my food.  Perception is everything.