Support issues
To start off, I am currently 24 years old and 320lbs and have been obese all my life.
So I just got apporved for WLS and I was talking to my mother (who weighs about 215lbs) about my excitement and goal (160-165lbs) which I believe was completely reasonable. She actually laughed in my face and told me to pu**** right back up to atleast 185 at the lowest.
Needless to say I was feeling many emotions at that point. I was angry and wanted to tell her things to hurt her feelings like she hurt mine. Then I became sad to know that before my WLS journey even began, my mother was completely unsupportive. Lastly I was in shock that she had no faith in me at all.
Thankfully I walked away from it by saying "Well I would love to be that healthy one day but I supose I shouldn't get my hopes up to high. That way if it doesn't happen I am not dissapointed, but if it does happen then it will be a pleasent suprise." I am glad I held my tongue!
Now that I am removed from the situation, had time to think about the conversation and writing this, I realize she could be upset that I found a way out of this unhealthy life style while she will still struggle with her weight. Perhaps she doesn't believe I can accomplish this goal because I haven't weighed that much since I was 12.
Is their a way to base a realistic goal weight off of? Is my goal really that far of a stretch for someone with my stats? I am 5'3 24yrs old and CW:320 GW:165
So I just got apporved for WLS and I was talking to my mother (who weighs about 215lbs) about my excitement and goal (160-165lbs) which I believe was completely reasonable. She actually laughed in my face and told me to pu**** right back up to atleast 185 at the lowest.
Needless to say I was feeling many emotions at that point. I was angry and wanted to tell her things to hurt her feelings like she hurt mine. Then I became sad to know that before my WLS journey even began, my mother was completely unsupportive. Lastly I was in shock that she had no faith in me at all.
Thankfully I walked away from it by saying "Well I would love to be that healthy one day but I supose I shouldn't get my hopes up to high. That way if it doesn't happen I am not dissapointed, but if it does happen then it will be a pleasent suprise." I am glad I held my tongue!
Now that I am removed from the situation, had time to think about the conversation and writing this, I realize she could be upset that I found a way out of this unhealthy life style while she will still struggle with her weight. Perhaps she doesn't believe I can accomplish this goal because I haven't weighed that much since I was 12.
Is their a way to base a realistic goal weight off of? Is my goal really that far of a stretch for someone with my stats? I am 5'3 24yrs old and CW:320 GW:165
Sorry you aren't getting the support you deserve. I think your goal of 165 is definitely attainable, and if you wanted, you could probably lose even more if you set your mind to it! This isn't my quote, but I love it:
The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed.
Good luck!
The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed.
Good luck!
It is absolutely attainable! Maybe your mom is feeling a range of emotions that make her unable to support you, and that sucks, but you are an adult and you can do this on your own! We will support you!
I can imagine that she feels a little jealous, and maybe guilty since she raised an obese child, I went through all this junk with my mom too, but my therapist told me that her feelings are NOT my problem and to keep myself focused for the benefit of my own family, husband and kids, and it was great advice that carried me through her crap. "hugs"
Heather
I can imagine that she feels a little jealous, and maybe guilty since she raised an obese child, I went through all this junk with my mom too, but my therapist told me that her feelings are NOT my problem and to keep myself focused for the benefit of my own family, husband and kids, and it was great advice that carried me through her crap. "hugs"
Heather
Congrats on you decision to get a sleeve! I love mine!
Many people will be supportive on your journey, but some will not be. Doubt, jealousy and other emotions in them can drive this. It's her issue, not yours. Set your own goal, with your doctor's medical opinion as a possible guide, and then JUST DO IT!
Very likely, at your height, 165 is a very attainable goal. If you stick to the plan and use your sleeve, it's a very powerful tool. It can get you there!
This is just a shocking reminder that this is OUR journey, not our family or friend's journeys. And sometimes we have to walk part of that road alone. Well, not alone, because this board is the support system for so many!
Keep your head high and do what you want to do. The only regret I hear on this board is that people didn't get the sleeve sooner. You are young, so it's prime time to get one so you can fully embrace the many future years of your life!
Many people will be supportive on your journey, but some will not be. Doubt, jealousy and other emotions in them can drive this. It's her issue, not yours. Set your own goal, with your doctor's medical opinion as a possible guide, and then JUST DO IT!
Very likely, at your height, 165 is a very attainable goal. If you stick to the plan and use your sleeve, it's a very powerful tool. It can get you there!
This is just a shocking reminder that this is OUR journey, not our family or friend's journeys. And sometimes we have to walk part of that road alone. Well, not alone, because this board is the support system for so many!
Keep your head high and do what you want to do. The only regret I hear on this board is that people didn't get the sleeve sooner. You are young, so it's prime time to get one so you can fully embrace the many future years of your life!
5'5" Goal reached, but fighting regain. Back to Basics.
Start Weight 246 Goal Weight 160 Current Weight 183
Starting size: 22, 2x
Current size: 12, L
My Fiance said that I should just take her negative comment and use it as fuel to prove her wrong and use those feelings to encourage myself to get out of bed when I dont want to work out.
This would be good advice if I was having the surgery to make her happy but I am doing this for myself. I want to be active and healthly and go a whole day without pain. Play with my daughter and not feel tired after a little while or have to sit down because of back and joint pain. I want to live long enough to meet my great grandkids. I don't want to get any other weight related problems. I appreciate the support and it is a calming feeling to know that I can come to OB for support from not only friends, but people who are actually going through what I will be and know exactly how I feel
This would be good advice if I was having the surgery to make her happy but I am doing this for myself. I want to be active and healthly and go a whole day without pain. Play with my daughter and not feel tired after a little while or have to sit down because of back and joint pain. I want to live long enough to meet my great grandkids. I don't want to get any other weight related problems. I appreciate the support and it is a calming feeling to know that I can come to OB for support from not only friends, but people who are actually going through what I will be and know exactly how I feel
As someone who has no family, I KNOW that this journey can be taken "on your own" if you find support in other places. OH was, and still is, my support! I was also cheered on by my church friends, and that and their prayers helped immensely. Just do your own thing and don't talk about it with your mother. It sounds like she has her own issues. Best wishes, sweetie :-) You can do it!
--Dorothy
--Dorothy
Highest weight: 292 Pre-op weight: 265 Goal met: 150 Six years out: 185 and trying to lose again!
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