There are no rewards in this lifetime for CRITICISM
I was hired to deliver the opening keynote speech to 600 women at the Los Angeles Women In Business conference. I was driving to the conference, I was downtown Los Angeles near the Music Center in a sea of concrete, overpasses, exits flying by me. I was LOST. Desperately looking for the correct exit and getting more frustrated by the minute, I was looking for a sign to guide me.
All of the sudden there was a SIGN, it said:
There are no rewards in this lifetime for CRITICISM
Wow-I had been being so critical of everything and everyone around me--no wonder I felt LOST. I was getting the rewards for my own behavior by choosing criticism.
I woke up a little while ago because I realize that personal criticism has been a TRIGGER for me to start eating badly. You see criticism is a double edge blade.
Imagine if you have a blade tied to your tongue and as you criticize others first your slash yourself then you slash others.
That is one of the rewards of criticism.
...Slash---Slash...
I got onto Obesity Help for just that HELP but quickly discovered there are some backyard bullies who did not like my expressive style of writing; they did not like my user name; they did not like the fact that I was tooting my horn about my rapid results and how appreciative I was to my doctor--not only for my SLEEVE, my teeny tiny incisions, but the wonderful LECTURE that he gave to me + another patient about what was our responsibility in getting the weight off. [choosing a higher quality of food + daily exercise]
They got me booted off of O.H. and made a stink that my doctor did not need this sort of over the top advertising.
OK wait a minute...was I advertising or saying THANK YOU in my way?
How GOOD do you feel when you get a thank you from someone you have done something for? Doesn't that Thank You feel like a nice Reward?
I find that most women do not get the love + appreciation they have earned and deserve and a THANK YOU goes a very long way with most women [and me] --how about you??
Marianne Williamson wrote:
Reading a post of where someone is shining their LIGHT and singing praises for their doctor and saying THANK YOU in a very exuberant way.
[powerful beyond measure]
OR
Reading several consecutive posts by a group of forum members who do not like YOU celebrating, complimenting, and recording your feelings in "this forum" in a powerful beyond measure manner.
They do not like your users name and they want you to change it. They do not feel this doctor needs this sort of attention from you--who are YOU to toot his horn anyway? [a shill they say]
Dr. Gerald Jampolsky says that when you cannot own your own LIGHT as Marianne described above--when you are being so BUSY putting lampshades onto others to DIM their LIGHT . . . so they won't SHINE so brightly.
SO this happened to me in MAY on this FORUM. I got kicked off for speaking so highly of someone who has made ME so happy.
WHAT did I do after that?
I apologized to each of my critics on this forum.
I changed my style of posting.
Whooooo there NELLIE . . .you did what? for whom? do you know them?
The LIGHT just came on for me.
This is a people pleasing pattern for ME and I suspect for many of YOU.
...Slash---Slash...
Someone criticizes you.
They put a lampshade on your head because unconsciously they do NOT want you to shine so brightly. YOUR brightness is making them look bad--or feel uncomfortable in some manner.
You go into people pleasing mode.
You are willing to do back flips to get them to LIKE you.
You are willing to walk on egg-shells to see what you can do to make it better, to be better, to make it right.
You start eating sweets--You fall off your diet + exercise program and begin to feel the DIMNESS that they have imposed on you--on your bright LIGHT that you started out with. DIM is good according to them.
...Slash---Slash...
Is DIM really GOOD for you?
Right now I am speaking to myself: WHY Kate would you allow a group of back yard bullies who you do not know, who possibly have never shined their LIGHTS, who possibly do not know HOW to shine their LIGHTS and expressed exuberant GRATITUDE [the BIG lights] back onto someone who has helped them make a LIFE change that is going to allow them to shine their LIGHT even bigger...have so much control over YOU?
WHY?
Because IF you always DO what you always DID you will always GET what you always GOT.
And for me--that was to pack on the pounds as my way of finding the biggest lampshade to hide my LIGHT and to definitely not to express my LOVE and APPRECIATION for something and someone I believed in.
Gerald Jampolsky: "When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge."
So back to the freeway in Los Angeles where I saw "the sign".
Yes it was "a sign" for me to understand that when I go beyond the end of my nose, it is at that moment that I have moved into YOUR SPACE.
What the hell am I doing in YOUR SPACE?
Many people spend time in your space when they are not willing to spend time in their own space learning how to SHINE their own LIGHT.
So the backyard bullies of Obesity Help reminded me [after I fell off the wagon into my old people pleasing behaviors-then falling off the wagon with my food to NUMB out the criticisms and to start being DIM] that playing small does not serve me and it does not serve me in this world.
There is nothing enlightened about dimming my LIGHT so that others won't feel insecure around me.
So I will not be changing my USER NAME.
I will not stop being excited about finding the right doctor who is not "just a doctor" that you forget about after you pay your bill.
My doctor gave me words of encouragement, words of enlightenment that I plan to share on this FORUM, that I plan to embody, that I plan to SHINE.
HE has a big LIGHT and I love myself the most when I am willing to shine my LIGHT. And if that includes appearing "over the top" to a few DIM forum members who are accustomed to using their BLADE on their tongues to ...Slash---Slash...
I will say THANK YOU for being good TEACHERS to me.
I only wish I would have learned this LIFE LESSON -- 100 pounds ago -- but better LATE than NEVER.
In the MONTH of JUNE . . .
I plan to SHINE my LIGHT within this forum and I will post daily on my O.H. BLOG, titled: I left my stomach in Mexicali about SELF-esteem.
Thanks for reading this post-KF
All of the sudden there was a SIGN, it said:
There are no rewards in this lifetime for CRITICISM
Wow-I had been being so critical of everything and everyone around me--no wonder I felt LOST. I was getting the rewards for my own behavior by choosing criticism.
I woke up a little while ago because I realize that personal criticism has been a TRIGGER for me to start eating badly. You see criticism is a double edge blade.
Imagine if you have a blade tied to your tongue and as you criticize others first your slash yourself then you slash others.
That is one of the rewards of criticism.
...Slash---Slash...
I got onto Obesity Help for just that HELP but quickly discovered there are some backyard bullies who did not like my expressive style of writing; they did not like my user name; they did not like the fact that I was tooting my horn about my rapid results and how appreciative I was to my doctor--not only for my SLEEVE, my teeny tiny incisions, but the wonderful LECTURE that he gave to me + another patient about what was our responsibility in getting the weight off. [choosing a higher quality of food + daily exercise]
They got me booted off of O.H. and made a stink that my doctor did not need this sort of over the top advertising.
OK wait a minute...was I advertising or saying THANK YOU in my way?
How GOOD do you feel when you get a thank you from someone you have done something for? Doesn't that Thank You feel like a nice Reward?
I find that most women do not get the love + appreciation they have earned and deserve and a THANK YOU goes a very long way with most women [and me] --how about you??
Marianne Williamson wrote:
So let's create a little contrast here and you tell me which FEELS better to you?“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Reading a post of where someone is shining their LIGHT and singing praises for their doctor and saying THANK YOU in a very exuberant way.
[powerful beyond measure]
OR
Reading several consecutive posts by a group of forum members who do not like YOU celebrating, complimenting, and recording your feelings in "this forum" in a powerful beyond measure manner.
They do not like your users name and they want you to change it. They do not feel this doctor needs this sort of attention from you--who are YOU to toot his horn anyway? [a shill they say]
Dr. Gerald Jampolsky says that when you cannot own your own LIGHT as Marianne described above--when you are being so BUSY putting lampshades onto others to DIM their LIGHT . . . so they won't SHINE so brightly.
SO this happened to me in MAY on this FORUM. I got kicked off for speaking so highly of someone who has made ME so happy.
WHAT did I do after that?
I apologized to each of my critics on this forum.
I changed my style of posting.
Whooooo there NELLIE . . .you did what? for whom? do you know them?
The LIGHT just came on for me.
This is a people pleasing pattern for ME and I suspect for many of YOU.
...Slash---Slash...
Someone criticizes you.
They put a lampshade on your head because unconsciously they do NOT want you to shine so brightly. YOUR brightness is making them look bad--or feel uncomfortable in some manner.
You go into people pleasing mode.
You are willing to do back flips to get them to LIKE you.
You are willing to walk on egg-shells to see what you can do to make it better, to be better, to make it right.
You start eating sweets--You fall off your diet + exercise program and begin to feel the DIMNESS that they have imposed on you--on your bright LIGHT that you started out with. DIM is good according to them.
...Slash---Slash...
Is DIM really GOOD for you?
Right now I am speaking to myself: WHY Kate would you allow a group of back yard bullies who you do not know, who possibly have never shined their LIGHTS, who possibly do not know HOW to shine their LIGHTS and expressed exuberant GRATITUDE [the BIG lights] back onto someone who has helped them make a LIFE change that is going to allow them to shine their LIGHT even bigger...have so much control over YOU?
WHY?
Because IF you always DO what you always DID you will always GET what you always GOT.
And for me--that was to pack on the pounds as my way of finding the biggest lampshade to hide my LIGHT and to definitely not to express my LOVE and APPRECIATION for something and someone I believed in.
Gerald Jampolsky: "When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge."
So back to the freeway in Los Angeles where I saw "the sign".
Yes it was "a sign" for me to understand that when I go beyond the end of my nose, it is at that moment that I have moved into YOUR SPACE.
What the hell am I doing in YOUR SPACE?
Many people spend time in your space when they are not willing to spend time in their own space learning how to SHINE their own LIGHT.
So the backyard bullies of Obesity Help reminded me [after I fell off the wagon into my old people pleasing behaviors-then falling off the wagon with my food to NUMB out the criticisms and to start being DIM] that playing small does not serve me and it does not serve me in this world.
There is nothing enlightened about dimming my LIGHT so that others won't feel insecure around me.
So I will not be changing my USER NAME.
I will not stop being excited about finding the right doctor who is not "just a doctor" that you forget about after you pay your bill.
My doctor gave me words of encouragement, words of enlightenment that I plan to share on this FORUM, that I plan to embody, that I plan to SHINE.
HE has a big LIGHT and I love myself the most when I am willing to shine my LIGHT. And if that includes appearing "over the top" to a few DIM forum members who are accustomed to using their BLADE on their tongues to ...Slash---Slash...
I will say THANK YOU for being good TEACHERS to me.
I only wish I would have learned this LIFE LESSON -- 100 pounds ago -- but better LATE than NEVER.
In the MONTH of JUNE . . .
I plan to SHINE my LIGHT within this forum and I will post daily on my O.H. BLOG, titled: I left my stomach in Mexicali about SELF-esteem.
Thanks for reading this post-KF
Just a heads up, no one was criticizing you for shining your light..
They were criticizing your post, and you because you were being interpreted as an advertisement.. by your first post here: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4387958/I-left-my-sto mach-in-Mexicali-with-Doctor-Aceves/#36279425
With no prior personal info from you, you posted the above on the main board. Yes, to any normal person, it comes off as an advertisement. You seem intelligent enough, so I think you can understand that in Internet communications- you do not get the interpersonal cues you'd normally get with one to one conversation. Then you posted as two separate people on this board, the same exact message.. so, yes- you were deemed to be a spammer.
NoEscape gave you very good advice on that post linked above, I hope you take it to heart.
They were criticizing your post, and you because you were being interpreted as an advertisement.. by your first post here: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4387958/I-left-my-sto mach-in-Mexicali-with-Doctor-Aceves/#36279425
With no prior personal info from you, you posted the above on the main board. Yes, to any normal person, it comes off as an advertisement. You seem intelligent enough, so I think you can understand that in Internet communications- you do not get the interpersonal cues you'd normally get with one to one conversation. Then you posted as two separate people on this board, the same exact message.. so, yes- you were deemed to be a spammer.
NoEscape gave you very good advice on that post linked above, I hope you take it to heart.
JO, I would truely love to understand [from your point of view] HOW my original post sounds like advertisement to you. Please be specific.
To me, I documented my journey from SLC to Mexicali, my feeling, what I ate, where I slept, who I talked to both before and after my surgery.
I did this on purpose because there are so many times that I do things and I have not documented what happened, how I felt, what was going on-etc and the entire experience gets away from me.
When did you do your surgery?
Honestly, I am glad that I wrote what I wrote when I wrote it because once I got home and got onto the liquid diet, my brain cells stopped operating--so that post is so detailed that it allows me to relive my experience.
WHY would you go beyond the end of your NOSE and criticize this post? And I know you went WAY beyond Obesity Help to make your point of view heard. That is personal to me--so please do not minimize that you only criticized my post. Please Jo BE HONEST + tell the truth--the whole truth--then I can truly understand who you are and what your intentions are.
IF you made a mistake--say so and also let OTHERS know that you contacted that you made a mistake. I am sorry, I just do not understand HOW documenting my decision making process and then personal experience over a 4-day window appears to be advertising.
Katherine
To me, I documented my journey from SLC to Mexicali, my feeling, what I ate, where I slept, who I talked to both before and after my surgery.
I did this on purpose because there are so many times that I do things and I have not documented what happened, how I felt, what was going on-etc and the entire experience gets away from me.
When did you do your surgery?
Honestly, I am glad that I wrote what I wrote when I wrote it because once I got home and got onto the liquid diet, my brain cells stopped operating--so that post is so detailed that it allows me to relive my experience.
WHY would you go beyond the end of your NOSE and criticize this post? And I know you went WAY beyond Obesity Help to make your point of view heard. That is personal to me--so please do not minimize that you only criticized my post. Please Jo BE HONEST + tell the truth--the whole truth--then I can truly understand who you are and what your intentions are.
IF you made a mistake--say so and also let OTHERS know that you contacted that you made a mistake. I am sorry, I just do not understand HOW documenting my decision making process and then personal experience over a 4-day window appears to be advertising.
Katherine
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