Is confession good for the soul?

I have a certain amount of shame and guilt over what I have done in the past to get my food fix.  And that is really what it is - the drug of my choice was food. 

So, how do you get rid of the shame and guilt?  Do you give it a voice and put it out there, and confess to the lengths you have gone to for food, hoping that others have done the same thing, and you really aren't that different?

Linda C.

That's a hard one Linda. 

On one side yes I do believe that getting it out there and giving your guilt a voice is a positive.  On the other side there's the whole idea that forget the past, time to move onward and upward. 

If a person feels safe enough though I guess I would say confession is the way to go.  I hope this forum is a safe place where people can feel free to air.  I personally would hide fast food wrappers in the trunk from my husband since I would buy 2 full meals and eat them in one sitting. 

Lori

Do you give it a voice and put it out there, and confess to the lengths you have gone to for food, hoping that others have done the same thing, and you really aren't that different?

In some shape or form, I am guessing that we all have some feelings of shame or guilt with regard to food, sadly.  You may find that talking about it with those who can relate very helpful, and somewhat of a relief, to learn that you're not alone.  Writing in a diary or blog about your feelings could also be useful. 

One of the most important things I've learned along my way is that I had to let go of the shame, guilt and general self-loathing when it came to my obesity.  It wasn't helping anyone, that's for sure.  I've learned, since surgery, to have a very healthy, loving relationship with food and I believe that is one of the keys to my personal success.


Edit:  spelling

Much like all the challenges we have faced (getting booted off rides because the seatbelt didn't fit...standing for an entire BBQ because we were afraid of the plastic chairs...etc...I am amazed how many people have told stories that I relate to on this site), I think you will find that we have all "been there, done that" when it comes to feeding our addiction. 

If you feel sharing will help, by all means do.  I think you will find more support than judgment on here.  However, there is something to be said for letting the past go and just moving on too.

I will share one of my most embarrassing addiction stories.  Often I would binge and eat half a bag of cookies or some other treat in the house.  As my daughter got older and started to question me (where did the cookies you bought yesterday go?), I would often go out the next day and buy another bag...and then eat it to the point that the first bag was before my binge...therefore eating an entire bag in one day.

I can so identify with the plastic chairs.  Actually many chairs for that matter.  As I type this I am sitting on a very old office chair at work.  I have had many people tell me that they would order me a new one but I am too ashamed to get one.  This is one is old and I would hate to break something new.  I have seen some of the chairs at work broken, I know its not me who did it but I still would feel bad.

I too have many addiction stories, I have eaten so much and then went to sleep only to wake up with vile acid taste in my mouth and choking on it.  I have vowed many times not to eat as much or gorge myself on junk but many times I end up doing it again and again.


 

I too have gone through the drive-through and ordered 2 complete meals - both for me.  It seemed important that they think it was for 2 people... but really, what did they care?  In the end, I would pour out the second drink...cause really what did I need with 2 large drinks.

There were times that I had stashes of food in my desk at work.. and at home.  My sleep habits were terrible so I would wait for my husband to go to bed before I would open the drawer.  It was like the food was calling me, and I would catch myself  wishing that he would go to bed soon.

My commute to and from work was an hour... that is a lot of eating time.  And of course there are Tim Horton's all over the place.  There were some times that I would stop and pick up a dozen donuts on the way home from work.... eat 6 on the way home, and tell my husband that I brought home leftovers.  Of course he would presume they were leftovers from work, not from on the trip home. 

And don't get me started on Halloween candy!  I'd buy it, then found I would need to replace half of it because I had dipped into it.  And I always got more than I needed - and always stuff that my husband and I liked... in case there were leftovers (guaranteed).

Restaurant booths were a problem for me, so I told people I was claustrophobic and couldn't sit in them.  I avoided a lot of work lunches, because people would be walking the 4 blocks or so to the restaurant, and that  was so difficult for me - and yet I would feel embarrassed if I drove.

I am so looking forward to the day when a lunch invitation would not put me in a panic - would they be sitting out on a patio with those plastic chairs - or god forbid... folding ones!  What excuse do I need to give so that I can walk by myself at my own pace rather than huffing and puffing and trying to keep up with a group.

A healthy weight will be so liberating!  I can hardly wait.

Linda C.
 

My lunch mates know that I will not walk the 4 blocks to the restaurant that everyone else wants to go to.  I have a 1 block perimeter of me trying to keep up with everyone else and lagging behind many many steps while everyone is chatting away.

You can count on:  "We aren't that different"...but shame and guilt will serve you nothing good...
Positive messages to yourself will bolster your confidence and help you through the day...Put the stop sign up when you think a negative thought...STOP!  And see the wonderful person you are.  Sans food...