Question:
Post -ops: Has your self esteem risen since WLS?
How does self esteem help you now in presenting yourself in public on the job and elsewhere) since you've had WLS? How was it a problem for you previously and in what way? — yourdivaness (posted on July 25, 2003)
July 25, 2003
My self-esteem has risen by leaps and bounds. I chat with strangers in the
elevator at work; previously wouldn't even make eye contact. I can carry
on conversations, witty or serious with almost anyone. At first I was a
little upset because I felt that people were being nicer to me because I
had lost weight and was more "normal". Then I realized that I
was presenting myself more openly. I smile at people, make eye contact,
don't mumble a "thank you" when someone opens a door for me - I
smile and distinctly thank that person. There are so many ways - and I
don't let people walk over me now, either. If I think I'm right, I stand
up for my beliefs. I have come to realize that I am a worthy person.
— Patty_Butler
July 25, 2003
I have always been gregarious and outgoing, so I seemed confident to a lot
of people. That was my way of covering my intense fear of people judging
me. If I was outgoing and funny, no one would notice my fat. I have to say
that my attitude about myself has definitely changed, for example, I just
quit a job where the boss was terribly abusive, a few years ago I would
have kept putting up with it until I was crazy...I do notice that I get
treated with more respect...more smiles, more doors held open, more
free/discounted stuff. I think that isn't right, but I guess I should enjoy
it anyhow. It is a sad fact that "good-looking" people get
treated better, I am sure for a combination of factors. I hope this gives
you a little insight. Post-Op One year...size 24 to a 6 :-)
— missmollyk
July 25, 2003
Wow yes! I have just began working at another office where I had not been
assigned for 4 yrs. During those 4 yrs I had surgery and lost 118 lbs. It
was just like a dream come true because everyone I see is so surprised! I
dreamt that I would return to work after surgery and everyone would say
"gee,you look great!". Of course at 6 wks post op it didn't
really happen that way. But now! Oh gosh, so many compliments and people
walking right by me without acknowldeging that they know me then when I say
"hi", their mouths drop open! The other day a lady came up to me
and told me that she had heard I had had gastric bypass surgery. She said
she had it too (in April). We talked for a few minutes and she told me
"the other day I saw you walking and I told myself .....if only I can
look like her I will be so happy!" This was the best compliment I have
ever had and it was totally unsolicitated and sincere. It really made my
day. Aside from the compliments, I am just more comfortable in my own skin
and it shows. I walk all the time and have joined Curves. I am going to
the tanning booth. It is one of those stand up ones that has a little
elevator that raises me up about a foot so I can tan my upper body. I
would never have felt comfortable in that little elevator at 312 lbs. It
would have probably broken. I feel so totally normal now and don't feel
that anyone is staring at me or talking about me being fat, etc. It is
wonderful. Last month my husband and I flew to Florida and the seatbelt
had 9 inches to spare. The food tray went down too. The last time I flew
I had to have an extension. Little things like this make a big difference
in our lives and in our self esteem as well. I am the same person I always
was but I am free to enjoy life more because I am not self conscious. It
is a new life!
— Mylou52
July 25, 2003
Several years ago I exiting a bathroom stall and saw a poor guy waiting to
get in. He was as wide as tall. It was hard to believe someone could look
so bad or let himself go. I looked more closly, my God it was me! There was
a large mirror in there that I had not seen, and of course I did not like
mirros so I was'nt really sure just how pathetic I really looked. So yes,
my self esteem and confidence has risen greatly. For one thing, I no longer
put up with crap I once did. In one way this is good, in another way I'm
paranoid and sometimes jump to conclusions and can and do make an a## of
myself at times. :( I've got to be more careful. But with years of feeling
like a nobody (even when I was skinny years ago) I often let those feeling
errupt. But yes, self confidence is back. In fact I now stand up in front
of a bunch of senior citizens and lead the group. Of course, there are
about three trouble makers and I have stood up to them, politely though,
and not been pushed around. Before WLS, I don't think this would have been
possible. Yes wls can help with this.
— Danmark
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