Question:
Fear of reaching goal weight....
I consider myself a lot like the the previous poster..I am almost four months post-op and have lost a little over 50 lbs. I am have started down a road that concerns me and I am trying to get a hold on it. I am eating carbs like crazy and while I'm not gaining weight, I'm not losing either. This is more than a plateau. I used to be so dedicated..and then the holidays hit, I found a lump in my left breast (which I'm having biopsied), I've had TOO MUCH company and the results of all this has me eating too much junk and not enough protein. Not exercising enough either. I'm starting to wonder if I'm terribly afraid of success where my weight is concerned and am wondering if any of you have experienced this and if so, what did you do? I have a therapist and plan on discussing this with him, but would SO APPRECIATE your input, words of wisdom and experiences............... THANK YOU ALL. ~Karen — Karen K. (posted on January 30, 2003)
January 30, 2003
I'm only about 10 pounds from my goal and I have been doing the same thing
since the holidays. I had a good day yesterday and today I've grazed on
pretzels all day long. I have been having the same thought about being
afraid of success as far as my weight is concerned,
— Mary U.
January 30, 2003
Well, I'm glad that someone else can relate. As opposed to the email that I
just got---maybe this person was worried about actually *posting* these
thoughts here on the board. I, personally, was absolutely THRILLED with
the understanding manner in which the words were delivered:
I read your question today on the amos site. At your beginning weight, you
should have lost more than what you have.. Ever heard of TRYING? This
isn't a cure all, only a TOOL and you have to do your part. I don't think
you are in fear of reaching your goal weight, that is a crock of poo. Even
with this surgery, you still have to just push away from the table.
Get it together so you don't make WLS look bad for the rest of us.
— Karen K.
January 30, 2003
Wow-Karen, that poster was downright mean. You asked for support, words or
wisdom etc and not to be slam dunked. Try to not let it get to you. You
may in fact, have stumbled onto a correct analysis of weight loss for you.
I think that all of us have varying degrees of fear that we will either not
lose the weight, or (and this is me), will not be able to keep it off. I
have lost weight over and over again thru my life, but have never kept it
off..Will I be able to do it this time? I hope so, but the fear is there.
So perhaps for you, your subconsciously not trying to get there for fear
that you won't be able to stay there? Hows that for my non-degreed
psychological diagnosis? Seriously, you are only 4 months post-op and it
is not too late to jump back on the bandwagon. I would discuss this with
my therapist but in the meantime, get the junk and most of the carbs out of
the house (out of sight, out of mind), start drinking an extra protein
shake a day and get back to exercising. Try eating 5 or 6 mini meals a day
instead of just 3, that way you are eating all the time-just make it
protein based stuff. I know you can do it if you try.
— Cindy R.
January 30, 2003
Karen- I am absolutely horrified that someone would send you an e-mail
like that. I am still pre-op but I am proud of you for being so honest and
asking for help. I think it's wonderful that you plan on talking to your
therapist about this. That's definately a step in the right direction.
I'm sorry I don't have any pertinent information to share with you;
however, I just wanted to give you a few KUDOS for acknowleding your
behavior and trying to change it. Whomever wrote that should concentrate on
his/her own WLS success and stop worrying about how others will view WLS.
If you weren't trying you wouldn't have come to your fellow AMOS members
for help. Let's try to remember that we all have faced or are continuing
to face enough prejudice and judment against us just due to our size.
Let's try to support each other in a positive way. Best of luck to you in
your journey.
— denisel
January 30, 2003
Boy, do I EVER identify with you! Last week I was convinced that I was
becoming a 'binger and purger,' then I reconsidered that notion and
realized that, duh, I can't hold as much food anymore! I'm over 9 months
out and while I fear not losing any more weight, I also fear my goal
weight! I've never been a normal weight, I've NEVER received attention
from the opposite sex and I've NEVER shopped for normal sized clothing.
Sometimes I feel like I am sabotaging myself in order to fulfil my 'failure
prophecy.' It sounds crazy but it is a real feeling. I love carbs; I know
I shouldn't eat them but I want them! I don't exercise as much as I would
like to but yet I do nothing about it! I made an appointment with a
psychologist that deals exclusively with bariatric patients so hopefully
she can shed some light on the situation! Hang in there, girl, you are not
alone!
— jenn2002
January 30, 2003
You guys are the best. Thank you for your words, your encouragement and
your solidarity. I've never had a negative experience here on this board,
but was really taken aback by someone coming at me in such an adversarial
way. Figure it says more about them than it does me. Anyway, I don't
remember signing up to be the WLS Ambassador for the world to see. I'm
certain that a lot of my eating is emotional (my father died of cancer less
than six months ago and now I'm dealing with this questionable growth in my
own body). The holidays without my dad were difficult and now I may be
moving home to be with my mom.... NOT THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH
PROBLEMS...but I figure that perhaps much of what I'm dealing with is
stress and comfort eating. TOmorrow I've committed to start the day (like
I used to) with a protein shake..and take it all one day at a time. THanks
again for your gentle support.
Karen
— Karen K.
January 30, 2003
In my 2 1/2 years of postop life, I have gone through numerous cycles of
fear, excitement, depression, apathy, and plain old 'gimme what I want'. I
think it's great that you have a counselor, I would encourage lots of time
discussing the impact wls has. Maybe it's not just fear? I think it's a
good sign that you are actually worried that this might be a pattern,
instead of just magically thinking that everything will be ok. The holidays
throw off alot of people, pre-ops, posties and 'normies'. The key is
getting it thru to yourself that the holidays are over, and now it's time
to get back to work. I suggest that you do 3 things. #1. Take a stroll down
memory lane to your pre-op days and think about how and why you over ate,
look at photos, get your head to recall emotionally why you had surgery in
the first place. Rid yourself of the complacency. #2. Get someone to hold
you accountable for exercise. Maybe buy a few personal training sessions.
#3. Realize that this is a journey, and that you are human, and give
yourself permission to start over. The beauty of this surgery is that you
don't gain everything back during a 'relapse'. We are not playing the same
game now, we have a few helpers now. You can do this, good luck to you!
— Cara F.
January 30, 2003
Karen, you are trying. We are all in this together, and we are all here for
the same reason: we have eating problems. This is a tool on our tummies,
not our heads, I just wish it was! I have reverted back to sugar, and eat
it everyday, even though I know I am probably sabatoging myself. I am
somehow still losing weight, but I fear that once I reach my goal (15 lbs
away) I will gain weight when everything levels off. But I also have
chronic daily headaches and marginal ulcer which I just had surgery to fix
a hole for. I'm depressed, so I am eating. And I think some of that can be
happening with you, as well. You're going through a very trying time right
now, and food is probably comfort. 50lbs in 4 months is great! No one
should compare weight loss, we are all different people. When else could
you have lost that much in such a short amount of time!? I def. think
talking to a professional about it will help. Don't give up though. If you
can't cut out any of the snacking, try just eating more protein, I think
that can help you. I was getting 55-60grams a day and the past 2 weeks now
get atleas 70grams, and I'm losing weight after a plateau. Although carbs
aren't the best, cutting them out completely is kind of like another diet,
and you want to live normal. So try making chicken and potato for instance.
Make sure to get most of the chicken and have a few bites of potato
afterwards. It's difficult sometimes, but you can get back on track.
Goodluck with everything, pray that all goes well with your health!
— Lezlie Y.
January 30, 2003
Karen, I just want to wish you luck with your biopsy. You are going
through a truly trying time, especially with your dad just having died of
cancer so recently. It's probably not surprising to you that you turned to
food for comfort (I have done so, mannnnny times in the past). So whatever
you decide to do, don't be hard on yourself in the process!<P>As far
as the eating goes, I truly believe that eating too many "bad"
carbs and sugars triggers our food addictions. So in addition to the
comfort of bad foods (really illusory, but such a powerful mirage, aye?),
you may now be experiencing a physical craving for bad foods. On the OSSG
"Grads" board (for long-term posties, which I'm not one of yet!),
I've read that the best way to break out of the junk-food spiral is to cut
out as many carbs and sugars as you can and go all-protein for awhile (for
a few days, or a week). Try to get the carb "buzz" out of your
system. It may help you get re-centered physically as you go through this
trying time. Then, there's always exercise, which is what I have tried to
substitute for the food thing (because I'll always need a "thing"
:P). <P>Big {{{HUGS}}} to you, nutz to the putz who sent you the
email (that person clearly gave up IQ points and along with pounds :P), and
hang IN there! You *will* get through this.
— Suzy C.
January 30, 2003
Just wanted to say I loved the last line in Suzy C.'s post...Rock on
sister!
— Renee B.
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