Question:
What does the Dr. ask your husband.....
What type of questions are asked of your spouse or better half at the first consultation? — Vicki R. (posted on August 3, 2002)
August 3, 2002
My surgeon/ nurse never spoke to my husband. I went to all my appointments
alone but I dont think they would have asked him anything even if he was
there. My husband did finally meet the surgeon the morning of my surgery
but that was brief and straight to the point. Good Luck!!
— tn683
August 4, 2002
My husband never met my surgeon...and the only thing my surgeon wanted to
know was if my spouse supported me and did talk to me about the possibility
of post op divorce issues that seem to crop up. We were already in family
counseling due to a problem teen, so I just used that forum in which to
address my issues with the surgery with the entire family. I believe it
helped my kids understand and helped my husband and I deal with the issues
that we all had surrounding surgery and the "aftermath" of
surgery.
Good luck
~CAE~
— Mustang
August 4, 2002
The Doctor me with my husband and myself for the informed consent meeting.
The Dr. encouraged my husband to come so that he could ask questions and
understand the surgery and its risks. The Dr. also wanted to make sure that
my husband would be a source of support during post op and wanted him to be
aware of what I could eat. I am very thankful that my Dr highly encouraged
my husband to come.I am 3 weeeks post op and my husband knows some basic
information about surgery and what he can do to help me.
— Sarah G.
August 4, 2002
My partner came to my first visit with my surgeon... and one other visit
that I had at his office. I really just wanted her to hear what I did the
first time so she too would have an understanding of things. In addition,
I knew that once I was out of surgery the doc would talk to her, so I
wanted her familiar with him.. and he with her. She was there with me from
the beginning on surgery day and so we saw him again. ON the first visit,
after hearing the doc talk and asking my questions, I checked to make sure
she didn't have any. I think its great to have some kind of family
approach to this if you can. For me, my partner was in all this with me
and if she isn't, I might not be very successful. Good luck.
— Lisa C.
August 4, 2002
MY DR. TOLD MY HUBBY THAT HE WAS "SO GLAD THAT HE HAD COME WITH ME TO
SHOW HIS SUPPORT FOR ME." HE ALSO ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ANY CONCERNS OR
QUESTIONS. DR. ELIAS TALKED WITH US FOR A WHILE AND TREATED EVERYTHING WE
TALKED ABOUT AS IF IT WERE THE MOST PRESSING MATTER OF THE DAY.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED HIM. I ALSO LOVED MY HUSBAND FOR COMING WITH ME AND
WANTING TO KNOW EVERYTHING. THE DOCTOR ASKED HIM IN THE HOSPITAL IF HE WAS
GOING TO BE HELPING ME WITH MY AFTER CARE. THEN IHE TAUGHT HIM HOW TO
CHANGE MY BANDAGES. MY SURGEON WAS A GIFT FROM GOD. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT.
— SHERRY P.
August 4, 2002
Hi. I noticed that you asked this question twice, so apparently it is very
important to you. First of all, this is YOUR surgery and if you prefer to
see your surgeon without your spouse present that is OK. Anything at all
that you and your surgeon discuss is strictly confidential between the two
of you and you should remind your surgeon of this. Second, if YOU want to
include your spouse in your consultation, I imagine that your doctor won't
ask him anything except, "Do you have questions? Concerns?" As I
said before, this is YOUR thing, so the Doc probably won't ask your spouse
anything. If your spouse is uncomfortable about being asked anything, help
him to relax and not worry about being quizzed. It most likely won't
happen. When you meet the Doc, introduce your spouse and say, "He
would like to just sit in during the consultation." This is NOT going
to be a problem, I promise. Good luck! PS- Is there a particular question
that you want/don't want your spouse to discus with your doc? Is he
supportive/not supportive? I recommend that you have YOUR questions ready
for the Doc, and if you/your spouse feels that he should ask some
questions, give him a few of yours to ask.
— Rebecca T.
August 5, 2002
Hi:
I am not sure if you want your husband to attend your consultation. If you
do not, by all means take a close friend or relative. If you do want your
spouse to attend, I do not believe that your surgeon will ask him anything.
I positively wanted my husband to come to the consultation to hear
everything that would occur before, during and after the surgery. I knew
that my husband had two questions, namely: Would I disappear to nothing, ha
ha, and what would happen to the portion of my stomach that was no longer
being used. Also, my husband was in favor of my decision to have surgery,
so I felt comfortable having him there. My surgeon was great. He spent
approximately one hour with us, and treated us with great kindness. The
doctor told us he would explain everything, and to feel free to jump in at
any time if we had questions. I told him that I did not want to interrupt
him, but he said that both of our questions were important, so we should
not hesitate to ask. I asked most of the questions, due to extensive
research on my part. My husband also asked the questions he had. For
myself, although I have only told my husband, daughter and one close
friend, I needed the support of my spouse at this meeting. Good luck to
you. If your spouse is unsure about this procedure, perhaps meeting with
and talking to the surgeon will put his mind at ease.
— Grace H.
August 5, 2002
I did all the pre-op testing in my home town of Bend, Oregon - the surgeon
who did my surgery was not the one who handled my pre-op testing and I went
to all of those testings alone. When it came time for the seminar where I
met with the surgeon for the first time, my husband came with me - I had
surgery 2 1/2 hours away from my home. He went through every step with me
and he had quite a few questions. He even met with the psychiatrist with
me - she gave him a question/answer sheet to fill out and I had to fill out
the same one at seperate times. I think she wanted to see how we answered
everything - our answers were almost exact. It was a True or False
question sheet and on some questions that didn't really apply to me, we
even had written on the side of the sheet the same response - it was kind
of cool. My surgeon asked my husband if he had any questions & whatnot
but for the most part - he was there for support but it's absolutely up to
you & what your desires are...this is your surgery and this is your
life so you can absolutely ask for the things you want. Good luck to you.
— Lisa J.
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