Question:
What is the unthinkable happens?
I just read all the memorials and now I'm scared. What if I die. I'm ready to meet my Jesus but I'm not ready to leave behind my wonderful husband and 3 precious children. What really are the risks? What percent of people really die? I just got insurance today and was very excited--now I feel very deflated. — jami G. (posted on October 23, 2000)
October 23, 2000
Hi Jami, I am going through the same feelings you are having. I am
scheduled for 11/27/00 open rny and after insurance approval, it became
real. I, too, am a Christian and do not fear death but I have too many
things I still want to do! Place all this in His hands and He will guide
you. If you truly place it in God's hands, how can you make a mistake.
Ask Him to make it clear on what to do.I don't want to leave my family for
a long time and I am having this to enjoy my life and to be with them
longer. If we have a positive attitude, things will work out better. Keep
the positive energy flowing and your body will respond to it. Remember,
with God's guidance and your positive feelings you cannot go wrong.
God bless!
— [Anonymous]
October 23, 2000
I am not conventionally religious. I did my research. I knew what my risks
were. I was confident that if I followed that instructions of my surgeon
that we could avoid many complications. But i also knew that once I went
into the operating room my life was no longer in my hands. I needed to
trust the skilled professionals caring for me and that God would care you
me through them. There are no guarantees in life, but the odds are that
you will have more and better years with your family with the surgery than
you would without.
— Nanette T.
October 23, 2000
Jami, Because this is an elective surgery for us (although
we would die without it!), it made the fear very real to me.
If I was told by my Gyn that I needed a hysterectomy, I don't
think I would have been nearly as panicked as the night before
my WLS because an EXPERT told me I needed it. With WLS- we
become the experts and try and convince others we need it
(family, friends, INSURANCE COMPANIES), as well as ourselves.
I don't know about you, but I don't always trust my own judgement:)
When I told my husband about my fears of dying (I too, know
where I am headed for eternity), he said if God wants me to
come to Him, I would die no matter what- on the surgical table,
in a car accident, walking down the steps- so I might
as well go for the surgery! HIS time is the only time clock that
counts- not ours- we might as well spend the time improving
ourselves, both physically and spiritually, for the work
we need to do while we are here on this earth. After 100 lb
weightloss, I can tell you I am MUCH more able to do His will
than I was 9 months ago:) Good Luck!
— M B.
October 23, 2000
I shares this view the rate is low, one half of one percent to one percent.
So 3 people out of 300, or 1 out of 100 and realize this is all people ,
those who becasue of helth have to have this surgery and those most
healthy.
My research showed me those deaths were from people who had major problems
before hand.
— Lisa W.
October 23, 2000
Jami--I am not an overly religous person. My daughter goes to a Catholic
School, but I don't attend church regularily. I believe in God, and I know
I am already in the cook of life. Like other's have said before you, if it
is your time, then there is nothing you can do to control it. The night I
found out when my surgery date was, I called my father up in tears. He
said "Erin, you could get hit by a bus on the way to the
hospital". Again, no control. I heard a quote that I often think of
when I start freaking out (my surgery is in 7 days). Maybe it can help you
too. "Thank God for what you have, Trust him for what you need".
Good luck hon
— enjo4
October 24, 2000
Jami, let go, let God. This is something that is hard to practice and has
taken me some time, but I am getting much better at it. Be informed -
knowledge is power. As I just mentioned in another post, the risks of NOT
doing WLS were much greater than actually doing it. I have heard stats
from an open RNY anywhere from .8 to 2.2%. You'll note that many on the
memorial page are there because they have died waiting for WLS. It's so
incredibly sad. The risks of dying from my worsening diabetes or high
blood pressure were much much higher. God has bestowed on us many gifts,
including those of medicine and good doctors. When I was under my
surgeon's knife, I was in God's hands, and I was very confident about that.
Two people told me, "You could die on the table." Well if I am
going to have cardiac arrest, I would rather do it in a room full of
doctors and medical equipment than in my car or alone in bed in the middle
of the night. One of the hardest things for a Christian is to see the
opportunities God puts before us to better our lives and those around us.
Through the use of medicine, God put a tool into my hands, and now it's up
to me to make it work. And by getting my life under control, I am in a
much better position to be there for my family and others when they need
me. Good luck and God bless. My earnest prayers are wih you. :)
— Paula G.
October 24, 2000
Jamie,
OK take a deep breath and remember why you wanted to have the surgery in
the first place. If you are like me it is because you KNOW that you are
morbidly obese and will have a miserable life followed by an early death if
you do not do something drastic. Have you (like me) tried every diet known
to man - only to fail to keep the weight off?, Do you have any quality of
life with your kids/husband or do you sit on the sidelines watching them
live life? WLS is a chance for you to get back into life and LIVE IT WELL!
I know that this is scary but the only thing scarier to me was continuing
the life I had been leading overweight and unhappy.
Hang in there and remember that a lot of people are here to support you any
way we can.
A
— Andrea P.
October 24, 2000
Jamie ... as someone else advised, take a deep breath. What you are going
through is a very normal case of the pre-op heebie-jeebies, and all of us
who came out successfully on the other side have been there and done that.
I, too, have very strong religious beliefs ... and I believe that God gave
me my surgeon and this surgery and my recovery, and asked only that I leave
all of it to Him. On the actual day of my surgery, I was stone cold calm.
I knew everything was going to be all right, regardless of what happened,
and what happened was God's plan, not mine. I was at peace with my
decision. If you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, deep in your heart, that
God led you to find out about the surgery, overcome the obstacles to
getting the surgery, and to being where you are right now, give it to Him.
As someone else posted, "let go and let God" ... and peace be
with you, my friend.
— Cheryl Denomy
October 24, 2000
My surgeon said the death rate after Open RnY is about half a percent, or
five deaths in a thousand. That percent sounds very small, unless of
course you happen to be one of those five... If you are in relatively good
health now, no heart condition, organ failure, etc, your odds are even
better. But, then you look at your lovely children and imagine them
without a mother... I know the exact feeling because I have been there. I
look back on my surgery over a year ago, and can't believe I had the guts
to go through with it! Really, I didn't have the guts, or the strength. I
was not running under my own power on that day. I had prayed, and prayed
so hard up till the day of my surgery, and when the time came to walk in
the door of the hospital and had my fate over to the surgeon, God was there
lending me his strength the whole time. I am so glad I asked God to carry
that burden for me, or I probably never would have made it to the operating
room!
— Lynn K.
October 24, 2000
I just read your question, and I am relating very strongly about now -- I
am scheduled for the open RNY 11/28, and contemplating whether or not to
write out my funeral arrangements and 'goodbye letters'. Sounds terribly
morbid, doesn't it? Then I remember what my surgeon said: He's lost 2 out
of 775 patients, and one of those was due to Hepatitis C, NOT the surgery.
I won't lie -- I still have my trepidations when I read through the
memorial lists and think, "Those people went into this for the same
reasons, with the same hopes and goals and dreams..", but I also know
the odds are in my favor. Those names listed there represent that less
than 1% risk -- They are the exception, NOT the usual occurrence. If death
occurred so frequently following a surgery, no one would be permitted to
perform it. There is a life I have yet to find 'on the other side', and
I'm looking forward to experiencing it to the fullest! So I'll hold your
hand through this (and you can hold mine when I lose momentum and feel a
little nervous, too!), and we'll push one another across 'the great
divide', huh? :o) Michelle
— Michelle F.
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