Question:
When and how do you learn to become comfortable with your body?
I am still pre-op, but my surgery should be sometime in the next few months. I stand 5'8" tall and weigh about 310 pounds. I was hoping that I wouldn't have too much of a problem with sagging extra skin because of my age (23), but I posted a question about that recently, and I found out that I would most likely have a big problem with it. I have been obese for a very long time and I do have a LOT of stretch marks, so those are bad signs. Anyway, I have come to grips with the fact that I may have to have post-op cosmetic surgery such as lipo, tt, and breast lift. My problem is that I am afraid that I will never be comfortable with my body. I hate my body now and won't wear shorts or a bathing suit under any circumstances, and I was hopeful that the surgery would restore my self esteem. However, if I have plastic surgery, I will be embarrassed to wear those types of clothes because of the scarring. If I don't have the surgery, I will be embarrassed because of the excess skin. Has anyone been through this and have an insight to offer? This is really bothering me. — kristynush (posted on June 13, 2003)
June 13, 2003
We could be twins. I'm 5'7 1/2 weighed in at 289 day of surgery. And had
just turned 23. Had LAP RNY on Oct. 2nd 2002 and now weigh 179. A 110 lb.
loss so far with more to go. I wear a 14 bottom and xl top cause of the
girls. I have a lot of stretch marks due to pregnancy and a life of
obesity. My stomach sags, but not as bad as I would have thought. The girls
will def. need a reduction cause I'm still in a DD and the thighs, forget
about it, horrible mess. But I'm okay with how my body looks. I'm married
and I know hubby thinks I'm beautiful. I can wear shorts just as long as
they are 6 inch inseams. I'm not comfortable with wearing tank tops, but I
think that its all in my head. Will I ever wear a bikini w/out plastic
surgery? No. Will I probably end up with reconstrusting half my body? Yes.
But right now before all this happens, I'm okay with me. Its not always
pretty but it used to be a lot worse. Don't let it get you down. Its just
skin sweetie. Its just another step along our journey. You either tumble
over it and let it bring you down, or you step gently over and through it.
Believe me, you can tell I have an apron under my clothes, but it doesn't
keep the boys from drooling. I hope this helps you sweets. Good luck to
you.
— Heather B.
June 13, 2003
Hi Kristi, I am 27 5'5 was 267 and now am 146 and I feel great! I look ok
in clothes, but naked I do look gross in some areas. The most common after
WLS is the stomach, thighs/butt, breast and arms. Mine are bothering me,
but in reality it is'nt that bad and I would take this extra skin over
being obese anytime! When I was heavier I never wore shorts, tanktops or
bathing suits. Now I can wear shorts, but the others I still wont b/c of
the skin. I am giving in and going to try to get PS on my blob of a tummy,
if the insurance wont pay then I will live with it and keep working on it.
When I was losing all this weight I felt like the hottest girl around(LOL),
but now that im pretty much done alls I focus on is the wrinkled skin and
my self esteem has went back down some, but im not going to let it get the
best of me b/c I remember what I felt like being obese and at least now I
can run, laugh, breath and no more high blood pressure. It feels good to be
thinner. Everyone has different genes, body shapes and weight loss
patterns, so just go with the flow and worry about the skin when you have
too. I wish you all the best and just remember that if you have the surgery
do as they say with your water and protein and start working out as soon as
you get your ok from the Surgeon. Good luck:o)
— Sandy M.
June 13, 2003
Hi, I am in a similar situation. I am 21yrs old and almost 1yr post-op. I
am 5'9 and starting weight was 262lbs, I am now at about 160 wearing sizes
9-11. I am happy with myself in some ways. But it's wierd that i perceive
myself as still being fat. I look at myself and think that this is what i
looked like at 262.. maybe when i was heavier i thought i looked thinner.
Anyways, as far as sagging skin, I have some in the tummy area. My upper
inner thighs a bit flabby, but i think they would get better if i got my
butt up and went to the gym.I wear shorts and it doesn't look bad. The only
thing i am not really comfortable with is my tummy, and i may look into
plastic surgery. Only because I would like to wear cute, kinda tight
shirts. Right now i can wear "fitted" shirts and look fine... But
also the way I see it, I would rather be 160lbs with some sagging skin and
be able to wear some of those cute clothes i have always wanted to wear and
of course be able to run and go upstairs without running out of breathe or
worry that i may die because of being overweight- instead of being 262lbs
and miserable..wishing and dreaming that one day i could fit my butt into a
size 9 or 11. Still a little bit of flabby or sagging skin is not bad at
all. You can still wear very cute and flattering clothes... now you may
feel uncomfortable if you wore some tank tops or short shorts, but i stick
with shorts that when standing are as long as to my fingertips and juniors
size shirts that are cute. Since it's not real hot here i still wear my
flare-leg jeans and am comfortable. Good luck to you- if you have any
questions feel free to e-mail me. Good luck! Sunny
— Sunny4x4chick
June 13, 2003
I am 7 months out and down 97lbs with a mere 17 to goal. I am still seeing
myself as the 259 lbs I started at. Yes at times I think wow look at these
thin shoulders but at other times I can only see my loose still
overinflated tummy. Yet going from a 49 inch waist to a 37 is wonderful I
am not happy and have the feeling plastics are in my future. But I am
thrilled to pieces to be down from a 24 to a 12-14! So yes I am happy but I
have some issues!
Wendy
— Wendy H.
June 13, 2003
Hi, I'm older than all of you (39, 5'8") but I just wanted to say that
anything is better than where we were before. As everyone said,
"being thinner and healthier is far better than being obese", I
agree. I have always worn shorts tank tops and swimming suits despite my
size. I've always been more into being comfortable and cool than worried
about what I looked like I guess. Sure there was a concern in the back of
my mind as to how people looked at me but I was always so hot in the summer
time that I had to try to stay cool somehow or I wouldn't be able to go out
and do anything and we all know that when you have kids, you have to just
do it! My starting weight was 373 and now, 2 months out, I've lost 73 of it
but it's too soon for anything to really be sagging, I just feel a little
more mushy. I don't think that I will be getting any other surgeries to
take away extra skin because I DON'T want to go through anymore pain! At
this point in my life I'm not out there to impress anyone but to just feel
better and be able to do more. Everyone has their own way of dealing with
this issue and I'm sure that whatever you do, it will be the right thing
for you. Good luck!! If I can answer any other questions or concerns that
you may have about going through this and afterwards feel free to email me!
— Kim J.
June 13, 2003
Okay, I'm 37 and 5'6" and I started at 300lbs. I got down to 170lbs,
10lbs from goal. Although my esteem was vastly improved (believe me, yours
will be too!), I was terribly uncomfortable with the excess skin. I
wouldn't let my DH even see me naked! I still had the old habit of 'hiding'
behind my clothes even though I was a size 10, which is nothing to sneeze
at. I still had the same fatrolls as before, just smaller. I did NOT like
how I looked but clothes do hide alot of sins. I had my PS (tt, arms and
breastlift) on March 31, 2003 and I can't tell you how much better I feel
about my body! I finally feel 'finished' and the old reminders of my
obesity is gone. I'm now in sizes 6-8! Yes, there are the scars (almost all
they way around me on the hips, down the center, around the bellybutton and
below. The arms have long scars too. But, my PS surgeon gave me wonderful,
THIN scars and they are already fading! Yes, its a trade off, especially
the arms when I wear short sleeves but its definately worth it!! I'd do it
again! I just have the attitude of, "So what if I have scars!"
Nobody has ever said a word if they see them. My DH also loves the new body
AND I even hav worn a bikini. First time EVER!!
— Kris T.
June 13, 2003
Someone asked this question on the Q&A board and I wanted it to be
addressed on the Message Board as well. Hope it's OK that I put it here
with my response. I'd like to see more discussions along the line of WLS
issues on the Board and maybe less about personalities and trivial
bickering. IMHO
""When and how do you learn to become comfortable with your
body?
I am still pre-op, but my surgery should be sometime in the next few
months. I stand 5'8" tall and weigh about 310 pounds. I was hoping
that I wouldn't have too much of a problem with sagging extra skin because
of my age (23), but I posted a question about that recently, and I found
out that I would most likely have a big problem with it. I have been obese
for a very long time and I do have a LOT of stretch marks, so those are bad
signs. Anyway, I have come to grips with the fact that I may have to have
post-op cosmetic surgery such as lipo, tt, and breast lift. My problem is
that I am afraid that I will never be comfortable with my body. I hate my
body now and won't wear shorts or a bathing suit under any circumstances,
and I was hopeful that the surgery would restore my self esteem. However,
if I have plastic surgery, I will be embarrassed to wear those types of
clothes because of the scarring. If I don't have the surgery, I will be
embarrassed because of the excess skin. Has anyone been through this and
have an insight to offer? This is really bothering me.""
Hre's my response: What do YOU think about getting comfortable in your
'new' skin??
Great question! I am now at goal and knew early on that I would need PS.
I lost weight rapidly, started out walking then working with a trainer and
eventually running and resistance training. You WILL lose the weight. I
recommend that you get out of all of your large, loose fitting clothes as
soon as possible. Take the time to actually LOOK at your body, both in
clothes that actually FIT and also in the nude. It's important to have a
TRUE visual image of yourself as your body changes before your eyes. I
made it a ritual to take my measurements every month on the anniversary
date of my surgery to help validate my progress. I also weigh daily. I
know lots of people disagree with that, but in the beginning it was for the
pure joy of seeing the numbers drop like a rock and let out my morning
"whhohooooooo", and after I got near and then to goal, it's now
to see the number that I never, ever imagined my scale would read back to
me. I was 99% to goal in 11 months, and started having my PS just before
Thankksgiving, starting with arms and breasts. Then the others were done.
I have one of the best plastic surgeons in the south east, and the results
are worth the many $$ I soent. (breasts/arms: $7,000.00, lipo $3200.00,
extended TT and anterior/medial thigh lift: $8100.00. I know that's more
than some people earn in a year, but I planned for it, made the decision to
do it and mow feel like my body appearance matches my mental body image.
In my head I visualized myself just like this, WAY before I ever hed WLS.
I just needed to make things match. I'm so happy I did! I'm 5' 7"
tall, and wearing size 10-12's and look like a normal, healthy woman. Not
Twiggy or a supermodel, but pretty darn good for someone who was nearly
300# who couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without wanting to croak! My
life has changed in ways I never expected. I know those changes were all
based on conscious decidions I made. It's literally a dream come true
regarding my health and mobility as well as my personal relationships. Job
pressures, family issues, external crap and day to day BS is still there.
WLS isn't a solution to any of those things. But I will tell you this:
Having the BREASS ONES to actually have this surgery sure got me to realize
that there's nothing I can't do if I put my mind to it!! Best of luck to
you my friend!
I have had my arms and breasts done, lipo and a TT and thigh lift, all
since last November. I am 1000% pleased with every decision I made to do
these 'cosmetic' procedures, and am proud of my appearance in addition to
the wonderful weightloss of over 130#, give or take 5#.
I don't expect to look like Pamela Anderson, but, hell, I do want my skin
to fit my smaller, tighter and more toned body. Do what you think is right
for you, OK?
Take a peek at my profile listed under Diane N of Tampa, FL or my website
at http://www.WeightlossSurgery.ws
— DianeN
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