Question:
i am still hoping to find encouragement

I have written several times about the frustration and disappointment in my surgery..I know it is my tool to use, and it is my responsibility to take control..I would really like to talk with anyone who is still motivated and driven to do well...I am now to the point where I am so frustrated and sad----and I am only 10 weeks post-op !! I would really like to hear great stories/ideas from encouraging and supportive people...thanks — [Anonymous] (posted on June 5, 2000)

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June 5, 2000
Reducing risk of complications Rest assured that the surgeons and hospital staff do everything they can from their end to reduce the occurrence of complications. They stay abreast of the medical literature and they pay attention to what goes on with their patients so (unfortunately) All of us have either seen or read about the vast majority of potential problems. Surgeons use prophylactic measures (such as antibiotics or anticoagulation therapy) where they benefit the patient, and remain vigilant for the remainder. Patients also frequently ask what they can do to reduce their risk, and there actually are a few important answers. No smoking - smoking has a truly significant influence on your outcome, including the chance of dying around the time of surgery. Obviously it's best if the patient has never smoked; however, if a patient does smoke they insist that you abstain from all tobacco products for at least one month prior to surgery. Following surgery it's best if the patient never resumes smoking, but that is not a primary issue between the surgeon and the patient. Get out of bed - after tobacco freedom, the most important influence a patient has on outcome is to get moving around the ward as soon as (and as much as) possible following the surgery. The surgeons will do their best to control the surgical pain, the nursing staff will assist, and they aim for the patient to be walking out in the hallway on the afternoon of surgery or as I did in the ICU 8 hours after surgery. The main important benefit of this plan is to restore normal circulation in the veins of the legs, but it also helps lung function, maybe gut function, and overall attitude. Mental preparation try to approach the surgery as the beginning of a whole new phase in life. The Gastric Bypass procedure is a watershed event in life; if the patient approaches it with thorough education and with determination to make the best of the opportunity, the chances of success are high. If the patient slides into the operation and aims for it to have minimal impact on his/her life then the prospects are not as good. One concrete thing that a prospective patient can do along these lines is actually practice the gastric bypass diet. I did this few days before..This will give you a practical idea of what you're getting into, with the side benefit of some weight loss. Also, there is some "soft" data that suggest that risks are lower for patients who come into a gastric bypass having lost 5-10 pounds, versus those who have eaten many "last meals" in preparation for the surgery. I chose not to have the LAST meal I drank broth two days prior to surgery.. I'm not saying that's why I had no complications, only that I chose to go this way to maximize my chances..Another practical suggestion for mental prep is to attend a monthly gastric bypass support group - much can be learned from other patients that the surgeons and staff cannot teach. AMOS was an excellent tool for me.. Comparison of these risks to no surgery Taken as a group, patients who undergo gastric bypass surgery do better than equally heavy people who work hard on nonsurgical means of weight loss. Because surgical weight loss tends to be successful and nonsurgical weight loss tends not to be, the risks of the gastric bypass are outweighed by the benefits obtained in terms of improvement/resolution of the many medical problems for patients considered as a group. This has been statistically demonstrated to be true. This fact is the main reason that I had this surgery I tried many diets and weight loss programs each time with some weightloss, however, gaining it back. This yo-yo weight loss is not only dangerous physically, the mental anguish is crippling. I know I'm only 5 months post-op, but, I can truly say this surgery saved my life with no doubt in my mind.. I have lost 115 pounds as of June 4th, I feel better than I have in many years.. No longer on any blood pressure medication, no longer diabetic, no longer in congestive heart failure, I have not had any more asthma attacks, I no longer have urinary incontinence, I can go on and on .. The plus side and mind you this was not my main concern when I decided to have this surgery, is that I have went from a size 5x to a normal off the rack size large.. :-) An excellent source of information on the risks of surgery is on the website for the American Society for Bariatric Surgery. (www.asbs.com) Visit my profile page for more information, links and recipes..
— Victoria B.

June 5, 2000
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and lost about your surgery. I don't have a fantastic,way out there story to tell but I can tell you that this lost fat little girl has been found and is well on her way to being let go free. I started out being a fat child. I didn't get that way until I was molested by my father's brother. I grew up to be a fat teenager, one who always got picked on, who never had boyfriends and was always tagging along with my skinny friends and their boyfriends. I grew into a fat woman, found my wonderful husband who fell in love with me for all of my 200+ pounds. But I had this little girl who was struggling to find some kind of sanity in her insane world. My world has revolved around food and my weight for all my life, it had turned me into a miserable woman. I was such an unhappy person that it was seeping over into other aspects of my life. Case in point, when someone made me mad, say at a grocery store. Instead of keeping a cool head, I felt the need to berate the person and try and make them feel as small and miserable as I felt. I honestly believed I was "done wrong" because I was obese. When in all reality, it probably didn't have a thing in the world to do with my weight. I thought I could push someone around with my weight, and by being loud and obnoxious, I thought it would work they would listen to me because I was big and loud. NOPE was I seriously wrong. When I reflect back on this time in my life, I was so miserable, I was trying to make everyone else as miserable as I felt. If that meant being a bully then so be it, I thought it worked like that. Since having surgery, things that would have made me "furious" a year ago, tend to roll off my back now. I am so happy!! Emotionally, I cannot tell you all of the improvements I have made. I am totally convinced that my happiness stems from the fact that I am not carrying around that scared little girl anymore. She weighed 113 pounds and I have lost her forever. I am a confident beautiful 135 pound, size 12 woman, who has a wonderful loving SUPPORTIVE husband and 2 very handsome little boys. I was on the verge of losing all of that had it not been for my surgery. Not only did surgery save my life physically, it saved my life emotionally. It saved a marriage that was being torn apart by my hands, due to all the hurt and frustration I felt as a 251 pound woman. Please don't feel too discouraged, you are in a period of mourning. You are mourning the loss of a coping mechanism you have had for so very long. It's very natural to mourn the loss of our ability to eat our way through a tough time, and this is a very tough time. Understand that no matter what, you are loved and supported here. We may not be able to be with you physically, but we are here, virtually. I can email you and encourage you and be your support person, that I can promise. No matter what, someone will be more than willing to walk with you through this rough and tumble time you are having. Good Luck Sweetie, and please feel free to email me anytime, I will get back to you the same day generally. My email is [email protected] Hugs and loves... =)
— Marni

June 5, 2000
Hi. I have very little to add to the great words already expressed to you, except to let you know that I am feeling compassion for you, and can relate to your depression. It is very common to have feelings of wonder if you did the right thing, post op. These feelings will subside as you begin to see the drama of the weight loss, and the realization that you can be satisfied from so little food, rather than the point of missing the amounts, still. Also, as you begin to regain your stamina it will be a huge difference for you. You are still very early n your journey. Please don't give up. It will get better. It will. Above all else, know that you are never truly alone. I can promise you that much.
— lisadiehl

June 5, 2000
At only 10 weeks out please hang in there, I promise it does get better. I am over 7 months post from a Lap proximal RNY. The first few months were tough for me since I had trouble eating and my energy seemed to stay fairly low. I had read all these posts of folks feeling great and I just wasn't having that experience. Now at 7 months I do feel great. I have lost 97 lbs (started at 235) and wear a size 8-10. Last Saturday night I went out to dinner with friends and we walked to the resturant. The old part of me was concerned that I wouldn't be able to keep up on the way back up the hill. Guess what? I not only could walk at their pace, I made it up the hill with out even breathing heavy. As time goes on you will begin to notice the little things such as how you can see more of your thigh when sitting and can easily cross your legs. One helpful hint that did make me feel better immediately was getting all the water in me and then some. I found being slightly dehydrated can make you feel awful. You will get past this bump in the road. Do not forget to do nice things for yourself. One good piece of advice my clinic gave me was when you reach a milestone like dropping below 200lbs give yourself a treat. Just make sure the treat has nothing to do with your size (such as no food goodies, clothes etc.) Celebrate every step. This really is a grand adventure toward a new life.
— Jilda H.

June 5, 2000
Hello, I am really sorry to hear you are so discouraged. I had VBG 3/27/00. I have done well so far. I have lost 46 lbs. I am in much better shape! I am riding my bike 2-3 miles for the first time in 20 years. Before surgery I could not even ride to the end of my street and back. I can walk 2-3 miles which I could not do before. All of this just amazes me because I never thought I would be here again and I am only 33 years old. I am encouraged that it will only get better!! I hope this helps! We have to make an effort and it is not easy no matter how many surgeries you have!
— Laura P.

June 6, 2000
I don't know your situation because I am not sure sure if I have read your other postings, but I wanted to say please hang in there. Why are you sad - do you know? Is it because you haven't lost as much as you had hoped? Or are you mourning food? I am only 4 weeks post-op, and understand you feeling blue. Just a few days ago I finished a week long bout of it. No particular reason - it just happened. I do know that I was getting down on myself for not being able to do enough water or protein, and finding food I could handle was a bit frustrating. I kept trying to give myself pep talks to snap out of the blues, and that didn't work. I started reading through previous posts about post-op depression which is VERY normal, and I also read of other's experiences with getting all the nutrients in. I realized I was not alone, and that everything I was feeling was so normal. At that point i decided to give myself a break and not fret over every little thing. When I made that decision, the blues went away. I have also found it good to get back into the swing of things of what I was doing before all my surgery preparation. For 2 months prior all I could focus on was the surgery. I was pretty obsessed (but in a positive way). All of my other activities were mostly put aside. Then when I had the surgery, all of a sudden I found myself very bored. I knew it was time to resume all those busy things I am involved with. Also, now I do not always want to think about my surgery. This site is wonderful, and I love the info and support, but at the same time, there is a big world out there and many things for me to experience. So now I busy myself with other things. I have no regrets, and love the changes that have happened, even in the short time since my surgery. I don't know exactly how much weight I have lost because I see my surgeon next week, but I am guessing at least 20 pounds. (I refuse to obsess about my weight by getting on a scale every week.) But I see it already in my face, tummy, fingers, chest, feet, and butt. My necklace that I stopped wearing at night because it was too tight is now hanging low around my neck. My clothes fit better. I can't feel my heart beating out of my chest any more. And soon I will be talking to my PCP about discontinuing my diabetes meds. Even with a few bumps here and there, I believe things are going well, and I look forward to even more great changes coming. Please feel free to e-mail me privately if you would like to chat further. Just hang in there, and try to keep a positive outlook. We are here to support you. [email protected] :):):)
— Paula G.

June 6, 2000
We have so many posters gals and guys on here to show you the proof is in the pud..Read all the success stories on each profile page.. Below is some excellent information from a surgeon that does open divided RNY and Lap RNY.. Gastric Bypass, Roux en-Y http://www.electriciti.com/acswc We consider Gastric Bypass to be the premium operation, offering the best combination of maximum weight control, and minimum nutritional risk. The Gastric Bypass, Roux en-Y is considered the "gold standard" of modern obesity surgery- the benchmark to which other operations are compared, for evaluation of their quality and effectiveness. Our group has experience with over 3500 of these procedures, and we have striven to refine our techniques and methods to produce the maximum sustained weight loss achievable. ( I can sure attest to that I have lost 115 pounds in less than 6 months ;-) This operation achieves its effects by creating a very small stomach pouch (thumb-sized, actually), from which the rest of the stomach is permanently divided and separated. The small intestine is cut about 18 inches below the stomach, and is re-arranged so as to provide an outlet to the small stomach, while maintaining the flow of digestive juices at the same time. The lower part of the stomach is bypassed, and food enters the second part of the small bowel within about 10 minutes of beginning the meal. There is very little interference with normal absorption of food - the operation works by reducing food intake, and reducing the feeling of hunger. The result is a very early sense of fullness, followed by a very profound sense of satisfaction. Even though the portion size may be small, there is no hunger, and no feeling of having been deprived: when truly satisfied, you feel indifferent to even the choicest of foods. Patients continue to enjoy eating - but they enjoy eating a lot less. (I have the same mind-set satisfaction at eating 3-4 ozs of food as others do eating pounds of food).. The Gastric Bypass provides an excellent tool for gaining long-term control of weight, without the hunger or craving usually associated with small portions, or with dieting. Weight loss of 80 - 100% of excess body weight is achievable for most patients, and long-term maintenance of weight loss is very successful -- but does require adherence to a simple and straightforward behavioral regimen. (which is what I wanted but didn't have the tool to do it until RNY) I'm an Open Divided Proximal RNY on 12/8/99: Beginning weight 367 Now 252 that's 115 pounds gone forever and proud to say RNY is the GOLD STANDARD in my books as well as the NIH consensus report.... I don't have to worry about malabsorption or vitamin deficiencies.. All my blood work has been perfect!!!! Surgery type is your choice. Do your research and be wary of a candy coated world some discribe.. all surgeries have pros & cons.. it makes me nervouse when we don't hear the good, bad and the ugly.. I think this site does very well informing you of all the pit falls and risks as well as the MANY PLUSES on RNY.. I guess it's up to you to dig out the pitfalls and risks on all other surgery types if they don't seem readily available.. People do your REASEARCH there is a multitude of information out there..Here on AMOS go to Keyword and type in a search word for what ever you're looking for.. also tons of links on my profile page.. If you have any questions please feel free to email me any time..
— Victoria B.

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