Question:
Anyone else have a spouse that wants surgery but too scared?

My husband has seen my sucess and been very supportive of me during my whole ordeal. He is Morbidly Obese with several co morbities and would easily qualify for surgery. We have discussed him having this surgery but he is too scared (has never had any type of procedure had never even went to doctor till we were married). He knows what it is all about from me, so I can't MAKE him have surgery. Anyone else have a spouse that has seen your success but is too scared to endure it themselves?    — Lynda T. (posted on August 27, 2002)

August 27, 2002
Sorta. Dh has NEVER had any kind of surgery and, though I'm pre-op and will be having the surgery 9-12, he's willing to make himself lose weight (yet again) the "old-fashioned" way. I'm concerned that he is going to sabotage his efforts and will subconsciously blame me for his failure to lose. The last thing I want out of all of this is a divorce! Believe me, I feel your pain.
   — Kathy B.

August 27, 2002
Jen my wife was MO and thought surgery was ... Not a good idea. She was SHOCKED my PCP supported my doing it... She let me go first, thats highly unusual almost always women do it and men follow along later according to my surgeon. Well Jen only had surgery cause her asthma got so bad she couldnt work, or even play a game of goffy golf. It was so sad while she was in the hospital she finally filled in her paperwork for surgery. She was hospilitazed with her 3 case of pneamonia in one year.<P> Well she is down nearly a 100 pounds and looking good. Asthma GONE! Perhaps you couyld introduce him to some COUPLES who have done this together? That might help. One other thing my surgeon told us AFTER we were BOTH post ops.... If one member of a MO couple has surgery and the other doesnt they nearly ALWAYS end up divorced over the long term. Now I am sure there are exceptions, but both of you need to be aware of this chilling statistic.
   — bob-haller