Question:
my husband is worried that I will lose too much weight
my husband is one of those rare men who love "full figured" women. He is afraid that if i have the surgery I will become too thin. Has this been a problem with anyone else? I am having the surgery done no matter what and I know that he will still love me but I also don't want him to find me unattractive. Any tips? — Tina C. (posted on March 8, 2002)
March 8, 2002
I think that your husband will love you regardless; or he should anyhow.
Your primary concern (and his) must be your health. I will tell you
though, when I went through my weight loss, I lost consistently (no
plateaus). On my 11 month anniversary, I weighed in at 138-140ish, wearing
a size 6. I looked healthy, I felt healthy. I still wanted to lose
another 5 pounds. I didn't lose an ounce! Then three months later I was
sick. I couldnt eat and inevitably I lost 4 pounds. I looked like crap!
My face was drained, my bones were sticking out... it wasnt pleasant.
After about 2 months I put the four pounds back on and look way better. I
didnt do much different than before... I think that my body is comfy here
and that's it. Sometimes I am militant in my choices; other times I am BAD
(Christmas). I go up and down 2-3 pounds regularly. Like a normal person!
The moral of my story is that I think our bodies know when we've had
enough; at least mine did! Good luck to you and your hubby! (PS I always
thought that my DH liked chubby chicks better but now I jsut think he loves
ME; chubby and thin!)
— Jeannet
March 9, 2002
I'm not able to give you any advise on this one, as since I'm going through
the same thing. A little different tho, my ex-husband/boyfriend (long
story..ha ha) doens't want me to get the surgery at all. He refuses to
listen to anything about it and won't even read anything I want him to look
at. He says that the only thing he will help with during my recovery is
with our little girl. He is against it 110%. If you hear any good advise
about this, please don't hesitate to share. Good luck to you!
— Lori S.
March 9, 2002
I am one of those full figured lovers too. I gotta admit there have been
times the before pictures look more attractive to me than the afters. But I
KNOW the afters are WAY more healthy and thats what I want for Jen,
HEALTHY. Once your hubby sees you health and happy his attitude may change.
I have been MO my entire life, and may have been programmed to like other
MOs realizing a skinny woman would have no interest in me. Thats my
theory...
— bob-haller
March 9, 2002
Lori, make friends with a successful post op. Have them stop by your home
when your hubby is home. Introduce them and have your hubby see their
before picture. Its worth a try, then take him to a support group meeting.
— bob-haller
March 9, 2002
Hi: I hope that you are having this surgery for "yourself" and
not for the way that others are going to view you afterwards. My husband
tells me constantly that I am getting too thin, but then showers me with
terms of endearment like "boney", twiggy, etc. He was
uncomfortable at first with all of my weight loss, but quickly realized
that it was his own insecurities. He couldn't be any happier for his new
"BONEY, SKINNY, NOW HAS HIP BONES" WIFE. Make yourself happy and
he will fall right into place. Good luck.....
— Joi G.
March 10, 2002
I can truly empathize with your situation. My boyfriend fell in love with
me at 250 pounds, and I gained another 100 throughout our relationship. He
has voiced his concerns about me getting "too thin", but he has
stood by my side every step of the way (I am now 2 mos post-op). Believe
me, if he loves you for the person you are now, it should not change as the
weight comes off. If anything, he will appreciate your increased
self-esteem and love you even more! My boyfriend has jumped into this WLS
thing by helping me with my website and making banners for obesity help.
He is being as supportive as he can because he knows this is my chance at a
healthier and happier future. Good luck!!
— Christie S.
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