Question:
Past emotional issues coming back to haunt you?
Has anyone further out post op felt like they were suddenly having to deal with issues they "thought" had been resolved years ago? Not any of mine are food related, really, I lost my mother and my marriage fell apart about 6 years ago. Now, it's all coming gack, sometimes full force. I see a psych doc, so I know how to talk it through. But, still , it's hard to deal with, and it all feels like a fresh wound. I would love to hear your comments in this....Sometimes I feel like I am losing what little mind I have......Thanks in advance, Donna in AL ( am even mourning my ex, who has out me through H$$L!!) HEEELLLLPPPP! — Donna S. C. (posted on April 26, 2002)
April 25, 2002
Yes! As I look in the mirror now and see the size girl I used to see in
highschool, a 100 lbs less than I had gotten to. Memories have been
flashing through me from that time. The whole outcased teenager thing has
been haunting me even though I'm 32 yrs old now and happily married. I
should probably see a therapised to help me get rid of old baggage. I
sadly have every memory in my life catagorized by what size I was at that
moment. I hope it's something I eventually can get away from. Sometimes I
look in the mirror and feel so good, about how far I've come and other
times I hear the far off chuckles of boys saying to each other
"there's one for ya". from over a decade back. Probably not
really what you are talking about, but I took this as my opportunity to
say...yeah, some sh%t has come up. -Kim open RNY 7/17 -105
— KimBo36
April 26, 2002
Donna, I, too, struggle with emotional issues from my past. Losing my
husband at a young age, the relationship with my Mother, and being accepted
by society. I think one of the things that many of us did in the past is
that we used food to comfort ourselves. When we no longer are able to do
that, we feel lost and search for other ways to comfort ourselves. This is
where we have to be careful and not replace one destructive behavior with
another. Any time you want to talk, feel free to email.
— [Deactivated Member]
April 26, 2002
Donna, I was moved by your message. I decided to read your profile to
give me a better idea of what has been going on in your life. You have had
your share of miseries and hardships. I noticed several times you made
reference to God and how he has blessed you. I believe that ONLY GOD can
lead you to a place where you can find the peace you seek. I, like you,
take antidepressants for a chemical imbalance. That is a medical problem
that medication can help with. There are other mineral and vitamin
deficienties that can cause mental disturbances. You need to be sure that
you are not missing some important elements.
If your labs are good, then seek your answer from the Word of God. Don't
try to solve all your problems. You have someone that can and will do
that for you. I applaud you for being so strong with your weight loss.
You have accomplished what many only dream of. It sounds like you have a
very loving family. Enjoy them for love is hard to find. As far as your
ex is concerned, let it go. If you are still anguishing over it, you have
not truly let it go. Pray for deliverance from him.
I hope that you can find peace and contentment. Your body is now
heathly-now for your mind. Proverbs 3:5-6 Gayla Kremer
— Gayla K.
April 26, 2002
Donna, I was moved by your message. I decided to read your profile to
give me a better idea of what has been going on in your life. You have had
your share of miseries and hardships. I noticed several times you made
reference to God and how he has blessed you. I believe that ONLY GOD can
lead you to a place where you can find the peace you seek. I, like you,
take antidepressants for a chemical imbalance. That is a medical problem
that medication can help with. There are other mineral and vitamin
deficienties that can cause mental disturbances. You need to be sure that
you are not missing some important elements.
If your labs are good, then seek your answer from the Word of God. Don't
try to solve all your problems. You have someone that can and will do
that for you. I applaud you for being so strong with your weight loss.
You have accomplished what many only dream of. It sounds like you have a
very loving family. Enjoy them for love is hard to find. As far as your
ex is concerned, let it go. If you are still anguishing over it, you have
not truly let it go. Pray for deliverance from him.
I hope that you can find peace and contentment. Your body is now
heathly-now for your mind. Proverbs 3:5-6 Gayla Kremer
— Gayla K.
April 26, 2002
Hi Donna, although I haven't had surgery, I have been in a situation that
reminded me of what you are talking about. My childhood was very agonizing
and tumultuous, but I learned to deal with life and just survive each day.
When I finally went away to college and didn't have all of that current
stress, I basically had a nervous breakdown. What over? The childhood
issues that I never dealt with (but issues I didn't even know I had!)...
the fact that I felt sexually violated by my father who was a womanizer (he
didn't molest me, but I was afraid he might have)... my ex-boyfriend who I
had been with for 3 years and had not seen for another 3 (we parted under
horrible circumstances). I honestly thought I was going crazy for a while
because I couldn't sleep without having nightmares... so I'd wake up with
only a couple of hours of sleep, completely delirious because I was
exhausted. The nightmares were so bad that I was literally afraid to go
back to sleep. I stopped going to class or even leaving the room. It was
like for all of my life up to that point, I had been so focused on
surviving and just dealing with the stress of the moment... and when I
finally found myself in a more peaceful place, all of those unresolved
issues came back, demanding that I deal with them once and for all. It was
a very difficult situation, but in retrospect it was one of the best things
has that happened to me because I worked through it and felt so much
better. As for mourning the ex... I don't know if you're with anyone now,
but I have found that when I am alone, sometimes I romanticize my past
relationships and long for the happy days. I don't know if that's your
situation though. I actually started morning my ex when I got my new
boyfriend, because I ended a 3 year relationship with my ex by hanging up
the phone and telling him never to call me again. It felt so unresolved.
I started thinking about the good times we had, and even contacted him to
say hello... but right off the bat, the things about him that drove us
apart surfaced and I got a reality check (wasn't pleasant!). It certainly
isn't unusual to mourn even the jerks, but keep in mind why you went your
separate ways in the first place, and be good to yourself. I think good
friends are the best remedy for loneliness anyway ;) Best of luck to
you... it will get better :)
— [Deactivated Member]
April 26, 2002
Hi Hope you don't mind my "dime" analysis but it sounds like post
traumatic stress syndrome. It is what happened to vets in Vietnam and
really can happen to anyone who doesn't "deal" with emotional
issues or traumatic events in their lives when they happen. For instance,
if someone has a bad car accident and rather than face the trauma, they
drink (eat) to keep from dealing with it, then years later any type of
stress can bring on the emotional turmoil again. When I was 22, I was in a
bad boating accident and my brother in law drowned. I was young and didn't
seek counseling or learn to deal then and for years, I couldn't deal with
emotional stress very well. Now, through much prayer and meditation, I have
faced the guilt and emotional feelings I faced because I didn't die and he
did. I can now deal with it but there are still times when I cry. This
was my twin sister's husband and I felt tremendous guilt because I was in
the accident with him. Maybe you should talk to someone about dealing with
emotions. I have deep religious faith and that pulled me through. Talking
to my Savious, Jesus Christ was my "therapy". Good luck and
thanks for a thought provoking question.
— Marilyn C.
April 27, 2002
Original poster here: I came home this afternoon, and DH had packed all his
things,but had gone to work for the hight. I don't know where to go from
now. I just want all the fighting and tension over. Thank you, Donna(Crazy
in AL)
— Donna S. C.
April 27, 2002
Donna, I totally agree with one of the previous posters: The only way to
get rid of the hurt is turn your life over to God. Read my profile.
Physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused. I've had 2
husbands, but have finally let God work on me. I gave Him permission to
clean out all the "rooms in my house" and He is such a gentleman
when He does. He always uses someone who loves and cares about you.Do I
still think about what happened to me? Yes, but I don't dwell on it. I
*must* look forward to what adventure God has for me next. Am I perfect?
Nope, but I'm learning day-by-day how to trust Him and listen to Him...and
let HIM handle the obstacles. All you need to do is ask Him. If you want
more information or you want to "talk," please email me at
[email protected]. I pray you feel His love instead of your pain.
— Gail G.
April 27, 2002
Donna- this is for you- not inrespnse to the ?- Reread your journal- I read
alot of postivie things in there about your DH- and now it seems he has
"packed up"! After you read it, let hime read it- sometimes we
get so bogged down in life's crisis' that we can't see what is right in
front of us- Is this a marriage you really want to end? Or do you want to
open communcation and improve THIS one??
Good Luck sweetie- :)
— ~~Stacie~~
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