Question:
Am I the only one who hates Weight Watchers, etc?
I have a friend who lost 40 pounds on weight watchers. A mutual friend who's never been overweight is getting married. The bridesmaids went to lunch and all that we discussed was how wonderful weight watchers was and how healthy it was and how much healthier my friend is. She's smoking twice as much but that was never mentioned. I'm really angry at both of them. I was also treated horribly by the Bridal shop where we were measured for dresses. These are some of my oldest friends and I just can't stand them right now. Am I being too mean? I just want to bang it into their heads that "dieting" isn't healthy and people who lose weight on those programs aren't role models. Now I'm afraid to even go to the wedding events. Please help me get more balanced on this. — kcanges (posted on February 6, 2001)
February 6, 2001
I think that sometimes it is difficult for us to listen to the uneducated
discussions of those who have never suffered being morbidly obese. Sure, I
lost over 40 pounds on Weight Watchers, 50 pounds on medifast, I could name
lots of "successes". The question is how long will she keep it
off. For her sake I hope it is permanent. The key is you shouldn't feel
bad because what is right for one person isn't for the next. If you have
chosen this route, wls, then it is because you feel it is right for you.
Sometimes we have to be tolerant of those who don't know any better,
sometimes we get the opportunity to educate them. You have a choice here,
you can tolerate their attitude because you want to keep them as friends,
you can educate them and if they are truly your friends they will listen
and understand,or you can find new friends who are truly your friends.
Friends that listen and understand, even if they don't have the same
problem. Bottom line is, be proud of yourself for facing your limitations
and taking the steps you need to get healthy. You have to be your own best
friend and take care of yourself first. And, I know you will find lots of
support here. Hang in there and good luck.
— cheryl R.
February 6, 2001
Oh Kathryn...I completey understand, I refuse to be another brides maid. Or
in any wedding what so ever..Been there about 3 too many times.. And I
tryed WW twice. My director only needed to lose 30 lbs and she discussed
that every week. I got so discouraged just listening to her. Anyway..I
dont think you are being the mean one. Some people just dont understand
what an over weight person goes thru. But don't give up I understand and I
am sure so many of us here do too. God bless. Good Luck!...Kimberly
— Kimberly L.
February 6, 2001
Kathryn---I don't hate WW, I just know that it does not and has never in at
least 10 attempts been helpful to me. Most especially the moderator was
not helpful, her 30# weight loss and trips to all over the world did not
impress me at all. She was very shallow and did not truly understand
morbid obesity: the WW instructors are not trained to work with morbidly
obese folks.
Since I have determined that RNY surgery is what I need and want, I have
spent time (a lot of it) explaining to my skinny friends why "I can
not do it on my own", that this a lifetime battle for me and many
others, that too many people judge on looks (obesity is the last great
hurdle in the civil rights arena), and that it is my life, and I will die
if I don't proceed with the surgery. Those who accept it continue to be in
my confidence, those who don't are now out of the loop.
Remember, WLS is for YOU! Not your spouse, mother, lover, children, priest,
doctor, or friends, YOU! If you can get through this and get a smile on
your face, the people who love you will continue to love you and admire
you. The people who don't...well they don't matter!
— [Anonymous]
February 6, 2001
Weight watchers is only as good as the leader. Since my surgery in may2000
I have attended a WW meeting ( worksite) every week. My leader is great.
Her husband is curently thinking about having the surgery on the advice of
his doctor. My leader is open to everything . I have been to both good and
bad meetings over the course of years and although there are more bad than
good. I encourage my friends to do what is best for themselves. WLS was
best for me . 110 lbs gone. Weight watchers reminds me of the basics of a
healthy diet without denying my needs for extra protein and supplements. I
try (Idon't always succeed) not to judge others by what I do. But when
anyone asks how I lost so much weight I tell them WLS. Because without this
tool (and the grace of God) I'd still be fat!WW or not!!
— Rose A.
February 6, 2001
Kathryn ... I don't know if it's Weight Watchers et al you hate so much as
those insufferably hateful people they have on their advertisements ... you
know, "I went from a size 10 to a size 4 in just fifteen minutes with
Slim Fast!" As if people who are a size ten are impossibly fat and
barely deserve to live. My mother is on Weight Watchers, and, power to
her, she's lost 17 pounds in a couple of months; I have a friend who's lost
about 65 or so over a year. But they're not and never were MORBIDLY OBESE,
and they weren't starting off at 300 pounds or more. I think diets work
for some of the people some of the time, but not all of the time, or Weight
Watchers and all that would have gone out of business in about a year.
You're right, they're not role models -- particularly if you started off at
a size 10 and are now a size 4 -- they're just reinforcing the notion that
thin is good and emaciated is better. But we morbidly obese (and formerly
morbidly obese) are sensitive about this stuff -- I still get the shivers
when somebody says to my ten-year old son "My, you're such a BIG
boy". I want to scream "He's not BIG, he's TALL (he's 5'6")
-- get your adjectives right, you moron!" You don't mention if you're
pre-op or post-op, but realize you're a little on the sensitive side about
this stuff. Steer the conversation away from weight and diets when you're
with your friends. Talk about the ugliest dress in the bridal shop and how
you're glad your friend didn't pick it. Talk about her prospective
in-laws. Talk about the weather. And be gentle with her, with your
friends, and with yourself. This, too, shall pass. Skinny supportive
thoughts,
— Cheryl Denomy
February 7, 2001
Thank you all so much for answering me. I got to talk to both my friends
last night and I think we are making progress. I am pre-op and still in
the dark with insurance. I can't really set a date or anything till I know
how I'm paying for the surgery. I think I'm a little discouraged because I
feel like I'm not moving forward. Your support and insight about WW is
greatly appreciated. I think the person who said it's the darn commercials
was right, that's what gets to me. I do know that my friends have a really
hard time seeing me as Obese too so they think I'm like them when I'm not.
Thanks again for all feedback. Kathryn
— kcanges
March 17, 2006
I understand, I am a lifetime member of WWs (1983) and my problem is NOW I
am 100lbs+ over weight and everyone in the class have approx 35-40lbs to
loose. Its just not suited for me now. Not to mention all they talk about
is CARBS wooowhoo I love'm BUT they make me fater and fater. I hope it
helps those who are there and I will take care of me.
— cwilkerson02
March 17, 2006
Wow, I had completely forgotten writing this. I'm the original poster,
that was like five years ago and someone responded and re-awoke the topic.
So allow me to update. I still hate WW. In fact, I now believe that all
"diet" or "lifestyle" approaches to weightloss are a
bunch of whooey and a sure-fire way to make you gain weight. Whenever I
forget, I read a book like "The Obesity Myth" by Paul Campos and
I am reminded. The other thing I hate and have to work on a lot is that
the culture we live in still believes that people choose their weight.
Never mind all the scientific evidence to the contrary. It hurts me to
hear people constantly talk about carbs and calories as if every meal is
going to make or break their waistline. And I say all of this as almost a
five year post op who is now one of those size 10 people I also used to
hate. Regarding the specific situation though, I did attend the wedding
and I was miserable. However, that was no excuse for trying to make the
bride miserable. It's no more her fault that she was always a size 10 than
it is my fault that I was a 28. She attended my wedding a couple of years
later when I was little and cute and very happy in my appearance. I think
she got a little tired of me always bitching though because I haven't heard
from her in well over a year and she doesn't return my calls. I'm afraid I
ruined that relationship with my long-time best friend. The pain of
obesity stretches far and wide. Blessings to all of you on your journeys.
— kcanges
March 18, 2006
Wow, I had completely forgotten writing this. I'm the original poster,
that was like five years ago and someone responded and re-awoke the topic.
So allow me to update. I still hate WW. In fact, I now believe that all
"diet" or "lifestyle" approaches to weightloss are a
bunch of whooey and a sure-fire way to make you gain weight. Whenever I
forget, I read a book like "The Obesity Myth" by Paul Campos and
I am reminded. The other thing I hate and have to work on a lot is that
the culture we live in still believes that people choose their weight.
Never mind all the scientific evidence to the contrary. It hurts me to
hear people constantly talk about carbs and calories as if every meal is
going to make or break their waistline. And I say all of this as almost a
five year post op who is now one of those size 10 people I also used to
hate. Regarding the specific situation though, I did attend the wedding
and I was miserable. However, that was no excuse for trying to make the
bride miserable. It's no more her fault that she was always a size 10 than
it is my fault that I was a 28. She attended my wedding a couple of years
later when I was little and cute and very happy in my appearance. I think
she got a little tired of me always bitching though because I haven't heard
from her in well over a year and she doesn't return my calls. I'm afraid I
ruined that relationship with my long-time best friend. The pain of
obesity stretches far and wide. Blessings to all of you on your journeys.
— kcanges
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