Question:
How do you deal with a negative co-worker is also a WLS post op?
I have a co-worker who had a gastric bypass four years ago at the age of 40. She has had very negative comments about me having this surgery. She succussfully lost 100% of her excess weight and has kept it off with no exercise and she eats whatever she wants, but she has a ton of excess skin hanging around. At that time she was a housewife and it took her five to six weeks to recover from an open rny. I am a 27 yo single mother of 2. My doctor has told me that I will be able to return to work two weeks after surgery. My doctor has also told me I will be having a G-tube for two weeks, begin a exercise routine in two weeks,a liquid diet the folling 4 weeks, a soft food diet 4 weeks following that, return to normal foods as tolerated after that. He said this was to minimalize leaks and complications. My co-worker begin eating regular foods apon release from the hospital. Her surgeon's sole practice is bariatrics and he also had wls himself, my surgeon is a very experienced and reputible general, vascular and bariatric surgeon. She flat out told me that I couldn't come back to work in two weeks and I needed to find a new doctor because the one I chose was and idiot (keeping in mind that we work for a cancer practice and we refer the majority of our patients to my surgeon to have there cancers removed). It is almost like she is saying anything to keep me from having this done. We work in a small business office with 10 other people, it's hard to avoid her and I don't want to be rude especially since I opened the door in the begining asking her about it. Now all I want is for her to do is shut up! — ravenprevia (posted on October 2, 2002)
October 2, 2002
This surgery is not a "piece of cake" (pardon the pun) and I
personally would not like to have to return to work in two weeks,no matter
how good the surgeon or the age of the patient. One needs time to heal,
adjust to eating, and recover, and two weeks is somewhat short. But I
suppose it could be done... Is there a reason for the short recovery and
return to work? Try to get as much time as you can..
— Carolyn G.
October 2, 2002
I personaly could not have returned to work after 2 weeks, no way no how. I
was sore, groggy, and adjusting to my new equipment. I am not saying you
cant I am just saying I couldnt. I think the important thing to remind her
is EVERY surgery is different as is every recovery. Tell her you and your
surgeon will decide what is best for you and your recoup time. And thank
her for sharing HER story and let her know U look forward to sharing yours
when all is said and done. If she mentions your dr being an idiot again or
anything of the like I would b quick to point out how insulted you are by
the comment and leave it at that. Some people try to do well but man they
sure are hard pills to swallow. Best of Luck.
— Sassy M.
October 2, 2002
I just returned to work last Monday after being out for 6 weeks (open RNY).
I probably could have gone back at 4-5 weeks, but no way in 2 weeks. I
was glad I had the extra time to adjust to the eating - couldn't imagine
going back in two weeks not knowing how I was going to tolerate different
foods - I think that was the hardest part for me - trying to figure out
what would/wouldn't make me dump -(couldn't tolerate SOME protein
supplements). Good luck!
— Margaret G.
October 2, 2002
OK, I was an open RNY 12/6. i returned to work in 6 days. But here is the
catch. I work at my computer in my basment- and I was able to reschedule
all outside appointments. I returned to full duty including driving to all
of my appointments and making all of my outside appointments ( generally 2
a day with a driving distance of an hour each way) at about 10 days. I did
not do this becasue I love my job. I did this out of financial necessity.
So, returning to work is "doable" if you must. I can tell you
that I would have rather had that 3-4 week time period to recoup. IT just
was not in the cards for me. PS, I have done fine.
— Vicki L.
October 2, 2002
I am 33 years old and had open RNY on the 19th of Sept. and I am so ready
to get back to work. I am up and walking 2 to 3 miles a day and can get up
and down with no problems. I am still eating liquid and blended foods but,
the doctor did give me a diet to follow he said to allow for proper
healing. I have to wait until my follow up appointment on 18th of October
so that I can get a release to return to work which means I will be out 2
weeks longer than I want to be. I went through the same situation with a
Co-worker that had the surgery a year before I did with a differant sugeon
and she kept telling me all her horror stories and really had me nervous
about the surgery. Believe me, you will know when you are ready for work,
and the doctors put you on special diets for a reason, but each
surgeon/doctor has a differant protocol. Don't let your co-workers remarks
get to you and lots of luck with your surgery. ~Sherry
— Sherry H.
October 2, 2002
It is unfortunate that people can be so negative. That is partly why I
kept my surgery a secret to most people. I work for a surgical hospital
and we are one of the countries leading hospitals for bariatric surgery.
Many people who work here have had it done. For the most part, people have
been extremly positive. I had my LAP RNY on Sept 17th and came back to
work this week on the Sept 30th. Hasn't been so bad, just sore. But I'd
rather be sore making money than sitting around at home watching TV.
Don't let negative people get you down.
I'm not going to lie, it is a painful surgery (was for me) and you will
probably have lots of doubts. I sure did, even after. But now I'm little
over 2 weeks out, down 20 pds and looking forward to next summer when I can
actually wear a bathing suit. Good luck to you!
— Ruby S.
October 2, 2002
Hi, you didn't specify if you are having open or lap. I had open, and it
took me 8 weeks to get back to work. I am considerably older than you
though. I am 36. Please make sure you 'listen to your body' after surgery.
If you feel good and want to get back to work, then GO FOR IT. Don't let
someone 'who knows it all' tell you what to do. If you really want to shut
her up, remind her over and over again about the VAST difference in your
ages, and well given that she is considerably older, it may have taken her
much more time to heal. If you really want to be nasty, be sure and mention
that your skin has much more elasticity because of your youth.
On the other hand , you can refuse to discuss it with her. Good luck,
Toodles
— Sherry S.
October 2, 2002
FIRST OF ALL you are not her..she is not you. PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE GIVING
PEOPLE ADVICE LIKE THAT...this surgery depends on so many
things..size..age...your surgeon..your will to get well...your mental well
being...the type of surgery you have..on and on.....CAN YOU MUSTER UP
ENOUGH SPIZERANTHEUM TO SAY...you know what, i appreciate your concern but
ive already made all of my decisions. NO BODY ELSE GETS A VOTE!!!!!! I had
the surgery in December i was 58...it took me a good month to feel
"good" although i probably could have gone back after 2 weeks
since it was a sit down job..but even at one month, i went home early
several days and rested. MY DAUGHTER KIM IS 31 she had the surgery last
week. She is up and around already and it amazes me how well she is doing.
So you can never tell...!!! We had the same dr. same. hospital..but she is
30 years younger!!!! hang in there...
— Jackiis
October 2, 2002
From what you have said it kinda sounds as if she is jealous that you are
getting the same opportunity as she had to loose your excess weight.
Sometimes people are not as considerate towards others as they should be
and it is unfortunate that she can't offer positive advice while keeping
her negativity to herself. As for myself I had a Open RNY in June of this
year and am a 24y/o mother of a toddler. I was pretty much 100% pysically
down for 3 weeks before I could get off the couch or out of bed without
pain. And did not lift my son who weighs 35lbs until 4 weeks. I didn't go
back to work until 8 weeks post op due to lifting requirements but I
probally could have did a sit down job at 3.5-4 weeks out. Everyone heals
different just don't count on going back at 2 weeks so that if your one of
the slow healers you won't get into a bind with work. 4 weeks would be
better and as far as the childcare do the same thing have something in
place for full care for at least the 1st week and probally some of the 2nd.
Good Luck
— Rebecca B.
October 2, 2002
It may be that your co-worker is insecure; maybe she attaches some kind of
importance to the fact that she's (currently) the only one in your office
who's had the surgery and feels jealous because she won't be the "WLS
Queen" anymore. But her problems are not your problems. Thank her
for her concern, but tell her firmly that you've already made your
decisions. If she absolutely won't shut up, maybe you can talk to a
supervisor or your HR person about it. I had open RNY, and I went back to
a desk job after two weeks. I didn't find it too stressful. Everybody I
worked with knew my condition, and people brought things to me instead of
making me go to them, as is usual. I did go home early a few days, but I
really didn't feel like I was pushing myself too hard.
— Roxanne M.
October 2, 2002
hi - I had open RNY 7/1/02 and was re-hospitalized the following week till
Friday, and I still went back to my desk job on Monday. You do what you
must, and you push yourself if you have to. As for your co-worker, she
doesn't know everything. You know much more about YOU and your situation
than she does! Just say thanks for the advice and Be A Duck. Let it roll
off your back----
— Karen N.
October 2, 2002
Take it all with a grain of salt. You have to ask yourself...do you trust
the surgeon you chose? If the answer is yes, then that is all that is
important. Each of us think that our surgeon is the best, and their word
is the gospel...but guess what...every surgeon has a different protocal and
it doesn't make one right or wrong, just different. Just tell her you have
done your research, you trust your surgeon and you know that you are going
to be in good hands for you surgery and your aftercare and you respect her
opinion and you'd appreciate if she'd respect your decision. :) Good Luck
:)
— Ilene M.
October 2, 2002
I wouldn't worry about her. I also had the same surgery as she did 3 years
ago and yes, I was eating soft foods before I left the hospital. That was
the days before labroscopic and much smaller stomachs. I can tell you from
my support group, many people have gone back to work in 2 weeks and what he
is saying sounds about right for what is done by all the doctors who do
laps here.
— Elizabeth K.
October 3, 2002
Everyone is different as to when they feel "up to" returning to
work. You'll have to play it by ear. For me, it was a good 6 weeks before
I felt well enough to work a whole day. But I know of one doctor who had
the surgery on a Friday (lap) and was seeing her patients on Tuesday (altho
a reduced schedule!). As for the "know it all", she has lived
thru this surgery, and successfully lost and kept off all her weight. I'd
say, putting aside her attitude, you could learn a lot from her. Your
doctor may advise you to do things differently than hers did, and you
should always follow your doctors advise, but you can't argue with success.
— Cindy R.
October 4, 2002
Jealousy is an ugly thing. I wouldn't pay any attention to this lady. You
do what your surgeon tells you and tell thanks for her opinion, but you
trust your doc and are going to follow his orders. I went to work after 10
days off, I did fine. Some people baby themselves more and some people
have a low tolerance for pain--everyone is different and you will know what
you can stand. I would tell her it is kinda like having a baby, everyone
has an opinion, but everyone's experience is different and to please let
you experience yours for yourself. Good Luck.
— Shari H.
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