Question:
Help! I have no interest in sex!
I'm 13 months post-op and have lost 195 lbs. My problem is that I have no interest in sex. Yes, I've been depressed. Yes, I've talked to my doctor. He prescribed Wellbutrin which I've been on for over 5 months. Part of the problem is that I hate my new body. I can't stand all the hanging skin. When I lay down, my breasts disappear. I find my body disgusting. Am I alone in this????? My husband doesn't understand. I take care of his needs, but really have no desire to be pleasured myself. I had a strong libido when I was in the 300 to 350 lb range. HELP!! — jean.campbell (posted on January 30, 2003)
January 30, 2003
I am so sorry you are experiencing problems with your libido. I can't say
that I have an answer for you, because unfortunately I don't. I just
wanted to post my support for you and hopes that things will get better. I
can truly understand you feeling regarding the extra skin...that is one of
my fears for having the surgery (I'm a pre-op). I have a little bit of a
hanging belly now, but know it will get worse after surgery. I truly hope
things get better for you...and your husband. Just remember, your husband
loves you and just wants to be there for you (physically and mentally). He
loved you when you were 300/350, he loves you now. I wish I could help.
Lots of love!
— Renee B.
January 30, 2003
Jean- that is quite a bit of weight to lose in just 13 mos. But, what you
are expiriencing is absolutely NORMAL. I personally feel your body/mind is
going to take a while to adjust to the new you, your hormones could be all
out of whack- and not liking your appearance can do a number on your head
as well. Please give it time- as you will see some improvements for the
better with TIME... some of your skin WILL shrink back. Exercising hard
etc. now can get you prepared if you want to go down the plastic surgery
path- and it is a good way to get a dose of endorphins! They make you
feeeeel gooooood. But be aware, you have lost a great deal of weight and I
honestly think that what you are going through right now is TEMPORARY. It
was such a massive loss, that you haven't had time to catch up to it yet!
Your libido will come inching back before you know it- and your body is
going to change- please just start appreciating some other good things
about yourself to get you through this funk. Sounds like you got a good,
understanding man... hang in there :)
— Karen R.
January 30, 2003
I don't know much about Wellbutrin, but I'm on Paxil for depression, and
one of the side effects is diminished (disappearing?) sex drive . . . check
with your doctor, that might be a normal side effect of the meds.
— lorien
January 30, 2003
Wehave probably all experienced some disappointment related to our new
bodies after having lost the large amounts of weight most of us have (by
the way, what an incredible amount of weight you have lost in such a short
amount of time, WOW!!!). Remember that within the first year of having
lost the weight your skin will tighten a bit. There are many of us who
have, or have had, hanging skin. I was tired of having rashes, having to
stuff the skin in a girdle, and then having to stuff the girdle into my
clothing, which did not fit too well. Also, the back- aches were
bothersome. It is normal to feel frustrated or even depressed because of
your new body, and especially because of the excess skin. There is going to
be some adjustment time needed for your mind to catch up with your body.
Try to realize that you have lost the amount of a whole person, and feel
proud of it...hanging skin and all. Also, remember that there are options
available to aid in your transformation to loving yourself and your body;
i.e., plastic surgery. In regard to your current depression treatment(I
will have my Master's psychology degree in the summer, I hope you don't
mind if I use a little here.....) Is your doctor aware of your continued(I
am assuming that this is not a new bout of depression? but a continuation
of the same bout?) suffering? have the two of you (you and your doctor)
talked about an adjustment of your medication? or a change in your
medication? Have you discussed your body image disappointments with your
doctor? have you explored the options you have available in regard to
feeling better? Please know that we all go through adjustments after we
have begun to lose/have lost all of the weight. It may be hard for you to
determine, but if you are noticing a change in your appetite(aside from the
surgery), a change in your sleeping patterns, and changes in your sexual
interest(as you have stated you have been having a lack of desire), being
more emotional, lacking interest in activities that once held enjoyment for
you, then I would definately consider sharing this with your doctor. You
should not have to live life, especially after having had such a
transforming surgery, in agony. There are ways for you to feel better about
your life and your body. If you ever need someone to talk to please feel
free to email me([email protected]). I would like to help you however I
can!!! You have a family of people here who can understand some of what
you are feeling, and we all want to help one-another.
— twenc
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