Question:
what do people think you are losing wt and they don't know why i had surgery?

I'm chosing not to tell coworkers because it's my business! But they will see me losing wieght. What do i say then?!!?    — felicia H. (posted on July 13, 2002)

July 13, 2002
Dear Felicia: You can simply tell people that you have changed your eating habits, upped your water and begun exercising more.. which will be true! People are people and tongues will wag no matter what. I wish I had more sound advice. Good luck to you! ~Peace
   — Joscelin

July 13, 2002
Do you want lots of gossiping about you? That you have Cancer, AIDS, or other terrible disease? How many people do YOU know that have quickly lost a 100 pounds or more and kept it off? Without WLS it just never happens....<P> I understand not telling before surgery, there are some real horror stories out there. But DO TELL THE TRUTH once your a post op so people dont think your dying. Besides what you did might filter ut to another MO and save their life. <P<> Lastly WLS is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I mean does someone who gets their appendix out fear others finding out? No just like us surgery was done to save lives....<P> I enjoy telling folks, its WONDERFUL being a post op!!
   — bob-haller

July 13, 2002
I am not telling anyone at work about my upcoming surgery either (August 28th). My plan is to tell them that I had to have my gallbladder out and then that I'm working with a personal trainer. Since I won't be eating much, I'll also tell them I've changed my eating habits....Hopefully it will go smoothly for both of us....
   — Suzanne M.

July 13, 2002
I am telling the people at work who are close to me. The others, I don't intend to tell anything. If they ask me outright, I will be honest, but they usually would rather talk behind a persons back. If I don't care to talk with them now, I certainly won't care to talk to them then. Let them wonder!
   — Pam G.

July 13, 2002
I've told everyone and I can't think of a single negative comment. I live in a small town, work in a very public place and knew there would be no use in not just going ahead and telling about the surgery. Plus, my mother knew and she can't keep a secret to save her life :-)
   — Lisa S.

July 13, 2002
I am not telling anyone but my husband and surgery pal. His is the same day, same doc and same hosp. It is my private business. At a school gathering there was someone there who had the WLS and I have never seen so much staring, gossiping and pointing in my life. I felt so bad for her. I don't need the crap. I will "give back" by being an angel a few times in the future and encourage newbies. My own Mother will never even know, not that she would care! Follow your heart and suit yourself. S R
   — S R.

July 13, 2002
I told very few people pre-op. My mother was not one of the people I told and I don't forsee having that conversation. I have lost more than 130 pounds. When people ask I tell them I am swimming every day and working with a doctor---both true. <p>At 10 months post-op I am telling more people but I am still pretty selective. Pre-op I didn't want to be the center of anyone's attention because of WLS anymore than I had wanted attention for weighing nearly 300 pounds. It is very obvious from my color, attitude, and activity level that there is nothing wrong with my health.<p>When MO friends ask, of course, I tell them about the surgery and my experience. They understand that it is my business and something no one who hasn't 'been there' can even begin to fathom.<p>Each of us has to decide how much information we are comfortable revealing. For me it has a lot to do with the concept of setting and honoring personal boundaries--not something I have been historically good at. I observe generally that fat people have trouble recognizing their rights to personal boundaries. I know I certainly did.
   — phoebe

July 13, 2002
Bob - I think that you are absolutely correct. I've told co-workers and friends what I have been planning for several months now (my surgery date is Wednesday). Everyone has been wonderfully supportive. It's eased a couple of my closest friends minds because they've been concerned about me and my health problems over the past couple of years. As has been said, if you don't say something, people are going to start speculating - AIDS, cancer, etc. - and nasty rumors like that are hard to chase down and erase once they get started.
   — John Rushton

July 13, 2002
well I have a comment about this - not a question. There is absolutely nothing shameful about having weight loss surgery. If you had a heart attack and could have bypass wouldnt you do it?? To me it is how you preceive the surgery.. I was excited and happy about it, yet nervous. The encouragement I got from sharing the fact I WAS having the surgery totally overcame any of those people who may have judged me for having it. If you project a positive attitude about your surgery to others, you could be influencing others to do the same if they maybe have a need. Hold your head up high and be proud of the fact you have the courage to change something you dislike about yourself - you will find people will want to share in your happiness about it - I experienced this with my cousins daughter - she was planning on having the surgery and didnt want people to know. Hopefully I helped her feel more comfortable with the idea and now she is excited about sharing her news. Just think about what I have said, hopefully it will help - God Bless You Love, Susan
   — Susan G.

July 13, 2002
Phoebe, it is not a matter of recognizing personal boundries, just that everyone sets their boundaries differently. We who talk about this surgery do not feel that our boundaries have been breached. We just have a more open personality. This is neither a good or bad thing. It is just one of the wonderous ways in which we are all different. From my generation "do your own thing"
   — faybay

July 14, 2002
Felicia, just tell them you are on a strict diet. I am not ashamed of my surgery, just as I am sure you're not ashamed either. I just think it is really no one's business that I had surgery. MOST people don't even know what Gastric Bypass even is and it could get pretty irritating having to explain what it is to everyone who asks. They still probably wouldn't understand it. I am proud that I had the courage to have this surgery and you should be too. BUT, you feel the same way I do...it's no ones business but my own.
   — Kim B.

July 14, 2002
I totally know how you feel. Before surgery, I only told my 2 closest friends at work about the surgery. I did tell everyone else that I was having abdominal surgery and that it was personal, so no one really pried. After surgery, I decided to tell everyone. I don't really know why I changed my mind, but I did. Good luck and whatever you choose to tell people should be respected.
   — Christine L.

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