Question:
I have 25 days until surgery, and I find myself getting kinda scared...
Well, the reason I am writing this is because today I have begun to get scared. I know, I know... dont be scared of surgery, be scared of my life without it, but something in me is visualizing being cut open, and them changing around my digestive system. I have been excited since June, and now I am fearful of the outcome. Scared of the pain of surgery, the troubles with recovery (throwing up, naseau, no tolerance for food, etc), all the possible medical problems and lastly, my fear of losing my friend, food. I feel like I am addicted to food, and I think it will be hard for me to live without it... HELP ME please! I know that you have been there, doing that, so I was hoping to get your insight. Were you scared? How has it been??? How will I know how much to eat post op? How bad is the recovery? Any advice is very helpful, and I welcome anything anyone could share with me.... Jennifer White, 28 yrs old, BMI 45, 280 lbs, 5'5" November 21, 2002, Dr Michael Hocking — Jennifer W. (posted on October 27, 2002)
October 27, 2002
Hey Jennifer! I am 4 weeks post-op and for me, the surgery really wasnt
that bad. I have had no vomiting, nausea, and the pain was not too bad.
The worst pain for me was my back where I got a muscle pulled. It lasted
for about 3 weeks. Try to get your mind set on a different way of
thinking. I keep telling myself that, yes the surgery might be painful,
yes, I might be sick BUT the outcome will be HUGE! I went in with a
positive attitude and I think that helps.
— Debbie W.
October 27, 2002
Jennifier,
I had all your fears and then some as I am nearly twice your age. I was
afraid of dying on the table and leaving my husband (who is disabled)
alone. What got me through it was his love and support and the conviction
that I was doing this so I could be with him longer and to be around to see
my grandson born and grow up. My surgeon has an excellent weight
management program with pre-op seminars and aftercare. The nutritionist
was always available to answer my many questions. My stats are similar to
yours. I was 260# pre-op and 5'3"; BMI was 46.1. Now at 15 mo.
post-op I am at 165#, BMI = 29.2. I am asthmatic and had high blood
pressure. Within 3 months post-op I was off my blood pressure medicine and
my asthma is under control. If you would like to ask specific questions
regarding post-op diet or anything else please feel free to email me. Just
click on my profile. There IS hope!!
— LLinderman
October 27, 2002
Jennifer, I'm going for my 3rd appointment with my surgeon Nov. 5th and
will probably get my surgery date. I am scared some, but I'm more scared
about the future without the surgery. My knees are shot, I have arthritis,
high blood pressure, borderline diabetic, panic depressive disorder, I am a
nurse and a mother of a 3 year old daughter and an 11 month old son. I DO
NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER STROKE!!!!!I had one at age 25 because of high
blood pressure. I assure you it was not fun having a spinal tap. Please
don't change your mind. Something drew you to this decision to change your
life forever. Can you imagine yourself 5 years from now in a w/c because
you've gotten so big you can't walk, or your knees are bad beyond repair???
The problems now, far outway the problems of surgery. YOU will be better.
You have to get through the surgery first though. Don't be discouraged by
your fears. Just trust what everyone is saying about their experiences and
then give me advise for when I have my surgery OK?????? You will be fine.
And just think, won't it be nice to be able to buy clothes in matching
sets, or be able to go out in public in a bathing suit, or just be able to
shave your legs without being a contourtionist??? I swear, sometimes I
need a midget or something to get to those HARD TO REACH PLACES...which are
just about the whole area.lol. Be good and think about the grass that WILL
be greener on the other side.
— Leigh G.
October 27, 2002
Hi Jennifer,
I wanted to let you know that you're not alone on being scared. I'm scared
too, and I don't have a surgery date yet. I don't even have an approval
yet! But, I get scared a lot, because of the pain, and losing my comfort
zone. But, if you read over all of the numerous postings you'll see that
it's only natural. Everyone goes through this, but in the end you get
through it. Good luck on you up and coming surgery. Hope to joining you and
all of the others soon. :)
— autumn F.
October 27, 2002
I was in the same boat as you, and occassionally get back in for another
ride. My surgery is in two weeks and after I got my date I started
wondering if I made the right decision, and getting scared. What I did to
get over it was to think back to when I first made the decision to have
this surgery. I made it after tons of research, and alot of deep thought. I
told myself that when I did that I was making the decision from logic, and
it was logically the correct way to go. These new doubts, are from emotion.
Fear mainly. If you go back to the time that you made the initial decision,
has anything changed other than now it is really gonna happen. That is a
good thing, it is what you fought for, it is what you wanted. Most of your
fears are from the unknown, but if you look around this and other sites you
can help get past that. I spent alot of time in the gallery looking for
similar people and their success stories. This is a time for happiness and
not fear. Don't be afraid to be happy! GOOD LUCK!!!
— dkinson
October 27, 2002
Jenn, if you would have read my profile, you would have seen a mirror image
of yourself in some ways. Until WLS, I have never once had surgery and
haven't been in the hosptial since I was 2 (now 32), I was SCARED TO
DEATH...Each night, I would cry, I would beg my husband to do certain
things after I was gone, I wouldn't plan for anyhting post-op b/c I though
I would die on the table. I got approved in April and waited to August
15th. When Agust 1 came, a calm came over me and when they wheeled me into
that room, I knew I would be fine. Good Luck to you
— heathercross
October 27, 2002
I too was totally scared. The fact that my daughter had WLS last November
was really supportive to me. When they walked me into the operating room I
was still scared, but determined to do this. I am 19 days out today, think
I have lost 25 lbs and glad I did it. Good luck to you.
— Steve B.
October 27, 2002
Hey Jennifer--you are 28 years old so kudos to stepping up and trying to
get your life in order. I wish I'd of done my surgery much sooner--I'm 37
now, but I am glad I did it. I had lap rny and honestly I didn't have too
much trouble with pain. I have had trouble with throwing up but that has
since passed. I'm close to 5 months out (6/4/02) and down 68.5 lbs. I too
was addicted to food but I want my life back more and I'm finding I'm more
comfortable with myself. I think you will do fine! Just imagine that next
summer you will probably be down anywhere from 80-120 lbs!!!! Pretty
awesome thought! And healthwise--wow---my comordities have all but gone
away---asthma, and the biggie---chronic and constant back pain--almost
completely gone! Good luck and God Bless. :o)
— Bambi C.
October 28, 2002
hiya jennifer {{{big hugs}}} take a deep breath...what you're feeling is
normal. for myself i had those same fears but i was "in control"
until the night before the surgery after i checked into the hospital. i
cried and begged my husband to take me home, i swore i'd LIVE at the gym!!
(i was convinced i would die on the table, that being my 10th major
surgery!) he gently said, "honey, you are way beyond the gym"
sounds harsh but came out lovingly...i knew he was right. i was 33 years
old, 5'1/4", 268lbs with a lot of co-morbidities. i know it was
painful but i don't really remember the pain (kind of like childbirth!) i
had open rny with my gallbladder removed at that time (it was very
diseased). at two weeks post op i threw up any and all protein shakes so i
was moved onto soft solids but then found a soy protein powder that i could
tolerate. i have had no problems, have lost more than i planned, and would
do the surgery again in a minute. i highly recommend attending some wls
support group meetings and/or seeing a counselor that has wls background or
at least obesity issues. i facilitate a wls support group and have bunches
of information if you have any questions. studies show that wls patients
need at least 3 years support post op. feel free to email me anytime:
[email protected]
take care,
kate
open rny 6-14-01
pre op: 268lbs
goal: 135lbs
current: 126lbs
— jkb
October 28, 2002
Hi Jennifer! I am in the same boat that you are, and can so understand! I
am 30 (ouch, hurts when I say that) and my date is November 20th. I share
the same BMI as you, although I am a little taller. I am afraid of surgery
too. I have this really bad habit of wanting to do things, following
through, and freaking out at the last possible minute. For example, getting
on an upside down roller coaster. I am excited, and then once it starts,
WHOA, stop the ride, let me off!!! I am SO worried that I will do this on
the operating table.
I think that the best thing for people like us is continuing to do
research, up to the last minute. Go through the archives when you have
time, it is amazing how much good information is in there. I found so many
helpful tips and information in there. Also, talk to others as much as you
can. Those who are supportive and knowledgeable can help you put the fear
into perspective. I would be glad to have an e-mail buddy that has the same
situations that I do. I feel your pain!! But the people on here are great!
We will be losers soon- and while I am scared, I also can't wait!
Take care, and e-mail me if you'd like to chat!
— Leslie M.
October 29, 2002
Jennifer don't let it get to you. I have 25 more days until my surgery
also. I am not letting myself be scared. I am the type of person that
says "what if" all the time. But not this time. It is a whole
new beginning. I am Xing my days away and going to alot of support
meetings. Don't let it get to you. Everything will be okay and we will
have a new life after. REMEMBER I'LL BE AT THE SAME PLACE AS YOU ON THE
21ST. FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CA.
— Lorraine S.
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