Question:
GETTING SICK OF YOUR FAMILY????
OK, DOWN 25 POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS HERE. DID ANY OF YA'LL POST-OPS GO THROUGH A PERIOD, SUCH AS DOES EVERYTHING YOUR SMALL CHILDREN DO MAKE YOU JUST WANNA HIT THEM OR I DON'T KNOW. AND I WOULDN'T HIT THEM, SO DON'T CONDEMN ME TO PARENT BASHING, I LOVE MY KIDS. IT'S JUST A FEELING OF LOSS OF CONTROL OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT. I'M FINDING THAT MY BABIES ARE ACTING EXACTLY THE SAME NOW AS BEFORE I HAD WLS, BUT IT JUST SEEMS THAT THEY, ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE AGGRIVATES ME REALLY EASY. I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY, BY MYSELF. I'VE NOT BEEN AWAY FROM THEM FOR (1) MINUTE SINCE I'VE BEEN HOME FROM WORK FOR THIS SURGERY. I KNOW I HAVE CABIN FEVER BADDDDDD. I FIND MYSELF YELLING AT MY 3 YEAR OLD AND TELLING HER REPEATEDLY TO DO OR NOT TO DO SOMETHING. SHE JUST WON'T LISTEN TO ME. COULD SHE POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THAT MOMMY IS TEMPORARILY BROKEN AND CAN'T BACK UP WHAT I TELL HER???? MY HUBBY WORKS 12 HOUR SHIFTS 6PM TO 6AM, SO I AM BY MYSELF ALL DAY AND NIGHT WITH THEM. HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!! I LOVE THEM, COULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN FOR 12 YEARS THEN GOT BOTH OF THEM RELATIVELY EASY. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE. WHAT'S UP??????AS I SAID, I'M A NURSE, NOT AN ABUSIVE PARENT AND WOULDN'T ALLOW IT SO PLEASE NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS. — Leigh G. (posted on December 1, 2002)
December 1, 2002
No Parent Bashing here. I would like to suggest that you talk to your
doctor about how you're feeling. You sound like how I used to feel and it
was a horrible feeling. It sounds like depression, which is common place in
WLS patients. Your body is going thru some major changes and it is so good
that you have some help in feeling better. I think once you talk to your
doctor regarding depression, ask to go on a trial of depression meds and
see how you feel taking the meds, I think you'll find that you will be
feeling better and more in control of your surroundings,etc. Good Luck!
— Jena C.
December 1, 2002
Sounds to me like you need someone to take the kids for a few hours or all
day and let you get some much needed down time. Any friends or relatives
near?
— Delores S.
December 1, 2002
First of all, you just had major surgery and your body is trying to
readjust physically, mentally and emotionally. You need more support from
family and friends to relief you of the responsibilities of housework and
child care so YOU can heal - which will be a benefit for all concern. Do
you have any family that can take them for a couple of hours so you can
rest. When one is not feeling well, alot of things can get on your nerves
and cause you to be depressed and emotionally fragile. I know when I'm
exhausted I'll cry easier. Second, little children do have a way to take
advantage of the situation to push our buttons when we're busy or not
feeling well - plus they are looking for reassurance you aren't going away
again plus children need attention period. Would it be a good idea to all
take naps together or read books. I hate to suggest putting them in front
of the TV too long but some educational videos would work, so you can rest.
Plus you can do this together as you holf them. If it gets too much - see
your Dr. for help plus let your husband know how you're feeling -- include
him but don't make him feel guilty for working. How about some Family
Medical Leave? Take care of yourself - in time you'll be great for
everyone-- including yourself.- Sally
— Sally P.
December 1, 2002
It sounds to me thath you need someone to talk to. Surgery is a traumatic
experince to the body and your lack of paitance may be a result of this.
I'm a man but my hormones were out of wack after surgery.You might consider
getting yours checked and explain to your DR why.
— Robert L.
December 1, 2002
hi there leigh. sorry for what you are going through. youve just been
through major surgery and that topped with anestetics and wacky hormone
levels, its totally normal what you are experiencing. it will get better
for you as you heal and settle into the new way of things. hang in there
sweety, it does get better. best of luck to you :)
— carrie M.
December 1, 2002
Hi Leigh,
I went through this period for for about 2 months. I'm not sure exactly
what causes it, but I know lots of wls people who have gone through it. It
will pass : )
— Sherry C.
December 1, 2002
I went through the same thing. I just find that I am meaner...less
tolerable. I think this is just what happens post op. My baby is two
years old and he is just too active to me. I do find that now my weight is
going down and I have more energy, I can catch him a lot quicker. I guess
if we give it time it will pass.
— Rhanda R.
December 1, 2002
I too went through the same thing and can say that it gets better. I was
told by my dr. that pre-op when your hormones are released a lot of them
get caught in the fat cells and now that the fat is melting away the
hormones are being released at one time. Once your body figures out whats
going on with it, it'll regulate itself. I know that its hard right now,
but try taking sometime for yourself and don't forget to mention it to your
husband and family so they know why your acting this way. I just told my 2
1/2 yr. old that mommy was sick and I just tried to show her extra
attention. And when I found myself getting to boiling point, I left the
room, calmed myself down and tried again. Good luck sweetie. It does get
better!!
— Heather B.
December 1, 2002
Leigh - a key phrase in your post was "cabin fever." That will
scramble even the most normal person's brain. Post-op WLS it's a killer! 2
months out was when my DB finally sprang for my YMCA membership, just so I
could get some exercise and work off some tension/depression/etc. :) I
didn't have small children at home to deal with (you poor dear!) But I did
go somewhat psychotic on my 1st ex-husband (son's father). He says and does
things that irk me all the time but I found I was a complete mad woman in
the early post-op phase! Get yourself outta the house and walk or exercise.
It's the best thing you can do. Promise to take 1 hour a day for yourself
and be sure to do it! Take care, Anna
— Anna L.
December 1, 2002
HEY GUYS, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT AND ADVISE. I ALREADY TAKE ZOLOFT
200MG PO QD ON A REGULAR BASES. MY NEIGHBORHOOD ISN'T THE BEST PLACE TO
WAG A 1 YR OLD AND A 3 YR OLD WALKING EITHER. WE'VE ONLY HAD 1 VAN FOR THE
LAST 3 MONTHS AND I'VE BEEN STUCK WITH THESE VARMITS (LOL) OF MINE BY
MYSELF THE ENTIRE TIME AND NOW IN MY POST OP HEALING TIME AS WELL. I'M
SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO WORK DEC 5TH. DON'T KNOW AS I'LL BE ABLE TO OR NOT.
I DON'T GET HARDLY ANY REST. BUT, MY AUNT IS GONNA KID NAP HANNAH FROM ME
TUESDAY AND GIVE ME A LITTLE BREAK, MY SON SHANE WILL USUALLY PILE UP IN
THE CROOK OF MY ARM AND NAP WITH ME SO I WILL GET A LITTLE BREAK THEN.
THANKS GUYS.
— Leigh G.
December 1, 2002
When my husband was deployed during the Gulf War in '91' I was home alone
with my 5 kidlings(1,4,6,8,&9) having some days like yours. I was with
them 24/7, & a friend told me I needed to get out by myself once in a
while. She was right, and even if it was just to go to the library at the
corner, it <b>DID</b> make a difference. My mom once told
me... when your kids are small sometimes it feels like the days drag by
while the years fly by. She was right on, and what I wouldn't give to have
some of those days back again. WLS doesn't fix everything, and early on our
emotions DO seem to be like a roller coaster ride, so you hang in there =)
— Denise W.
December 2, 2002
I have to say I agree with Denise. I think alone time is the KEY. I was so
fed up with my family I felt like every turn there was someone demanding
something of me. I refered to it as my clan humping my leg. I started going
out every other weekend or so. Usually with girl friends. Once or twice
with hubby. Its time to replenish what you give to your family. Kinda like
the calcium thing. If ya dont get enough of it, your body sucks it from
your bones. I am 6 months out and down 114 and LIFE is wonderful now. Even
my kids are pretty great. (even more so after I have gone out) Best of
luck!~
— Sassy M.
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