Question:
How do we approach strangers to tell them about this site?
I think I only saw this type of question once. I recently was in a mtg. with a verylarge MO I wanted to cry for her and tell her there is an answer. She couldn't even fit in the chair properly. I too, am MO but will have my surgery soon. Is there anything we can do to help others? I think some people think they're doomed and that diet is the only way and they already know that's not going to work for them. My heart goes out to them. I wanted so bad to say to the woman " get on line" Obstiy.com!!1 — Cindee A. (posted on October 11, 2001)
October 11, 2001
This has occurred to me, also. I thought perhaps we could have
"business cards" printed up that use the AMOS line: "If you
are morbidly obese, you are not alone," with information about the
ObesityHelp.com website. These cards could be left out in various places
(like women's rooms) or even handed to someone. I'm not sure I'll ever
really do it, but I have given it some thought! Nina
— [Deactivated Member]
October 11, 2001
I have approached several strangers about this website. I have a little boy
so sometimes in ear shot of a MO person I will say something like Mommy
will not be buying plus sizes clothes much longer or Mommy cant eat any
more she had weight loss surgery. Or sometime in ear shot I will just
sorta say out loud something like man i am glad i had surgery or I would
eat that whole plate of donoughts. Then if the person is interested they
usually ask me oh really what did you do? And then I go into the whole deal
about this site and my surgery. Its sorta fun. Good Luck.
— Robin C.
October 11, 2001
My aunt did get some cards from Obesityhelp.com with the website address
and other info on it, but I'm not sure how she got them. I could never
work up the courage to hand them out, but I've wanted to so bad! I really
like the idea of talking about it out-loud to someone and hoping the MO
person overhears. Good idea!!!
— Becky H.
October 11, 2001
If anyone approached me about my weight I'd be torn between crying and
smacking them in the face. How dare someone approach me? Do I not know I'm
fat? It's hard enough to be out without being humiliated by *well meaning*
people. Unless someone lives in a cave, never watches tv or reads the news
the chances are they know about this surgery. I can just see it now, I
started at 410, I've lost enough to be .. oh say 299, I'm feeling good, and
someone gives me a card... how awful. You don't know what's going on in
people's lives. Maybe I'm overreacting, but then again, maybe I'm not. It's
like finding religion or stopping smoking, suddenly it seems like a good
idea to push it on everyone. I had wls, I'm for this surgery, but I'm not
for pushing my opinion that others qualify (by being obese and out in
public) by walking up to them and giving them a card or preaching wls.
— Becky K.
October 11, 2001
I'm with Becky K on this one. I know people mean well and want others to
find the success that they've had or anticipate having. But to me,
approaching a stranger with a business card or loud comments is
inappropriate, and yes, rude. Think of all the hurtful comments made to you
by well-meaning people. Anyone who is in need of WLS is more than aware of
their weight, and I'm sure most are also aware of the surgery. If I got
into a conversation with a MO person, and the subject came up, I may talk
about MY experiences but again, I'd never suggest it for themselves. It
would be such an humiliation, I think.
— Donna L.
October 11, 2001
This is indeed a tough question. Just yesterday my daughter an I were in an
office supply store and this huge man ( a good 600 pounds) walked in. Turns
out it was my daughters teacher from last year. People say here, unless
they don't watch TV etc. every obese person knows about this surgery. Well
that cannot be farther from the truth. I was totally unaware of this
surgery until about 6 months ago. And I watch TV all the time.......what
about the teachers and people who work throughout the day when most of
these shows are on? This is not a subject that is on everywhere on TV.
Mostly it's just the talk shows. I wish I would have known about this
surgery a long time ago. Although I don't think I would like the idea of a
complete stranger coming up to me telling me about WLS I do think people
need to be informed that this is available. It's just a matter of HOW to
inform MO people without humiliation and embarrassment. Or making them
angry. I think more TV coverage is what we need. A business card laying in
the restroom is no better than a sign on a telephone pole advertising some
great weightloss scheme. Carnie Wilson is doing a good job making people
aware of this surgery but unfortunately, not everyone can watch TV during
the day when these talk shows are on. Something better needs to be done to
get the word out about this surgery. I think a good idea would be
this...... maybe surgeons or someone in the medical field should start
having commercials. I think that would be the best way to atleast
"plant the seed" and get people curious as to what this surgery
is and look into it more. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc.....they all
advertise, why not have advertisements about WLS?? I see absolutely nothing
wrong with this idea.......
— Kim B.
October 11, 2001
This may sound really mean, but I've heard the saying that "Fat people
flock together" and honestly, we're more adept to talk to the MO
people around us.. being pre-op I talk to a LOT of MO people, and when the
chance comes in I will tell anyone and everyone (even non MO people) about
my upcoming surgery. This is more for the hopes that it will strike an
interest with them and I carry around the business cards for this website.
I have my name and email adress printed on a sticker on the back of all the
cards so they can even email me and ask more questions. There are tactful
ways of working it in the conversation, but it's one of those "when
the time comes, pounce" things..
— [Anonymous]
October 12, 2001
I usually am with my husband and we have talked about this before, when we
see a MO person we will start talking loudly about my up coming WLS and
obesityhelp.com....maybe just to plant the bug in someones ear.
— [Anonymous]
October 12, 2001
I think leaving the obesityhelp.com card in bathrooms or on bulletin board
is fine....but to approach a MO person and give them the card would be
unbelievably rude. I admit, there are times when I see a very large MO
person and would like to tell them there is help out there, but then I
think about how I would feel if someone approached me like that. You
should also consider the fact that some MO people are happy the way they
are, and don't want to hear about it. In fact, I'm betting that if you do
this to enough people, eventually you're going to get smacked.
— [Anonymous]
October 12, 2001
I think it would be rude and condescending to direct someone
to this site, or anyother wls site, unless they express an interest
in it. I can remember when people offered unsolicited weight loss
advice to me...I deeply resented it. Wls is not a secret, it's been
around for decades and with stars like Roseanne and Carney Wilson
talking about their surgeries (I hear Carney has a book out...), everyone
has some exposure. If that woman has an interest, she'll pursue it on
her own. Also, you assume that that woman wants to lose weight. Why????
There are people (I certainly wasn't one of them....) who accept the size
and
choose to make the most of their lives as MO individuals.
— [Anonymous]
October 12, 2001
I, too, have often wondered about approaching people though I never have.
The parking attendent I see every day is a young woman who is very MO. I'd
love to tell her about it, but I just couldn't approach her. Like others
here, you must put yourself in that persons shoes and think about how you
would feel. Also, because I've lost so much weight and now wear a size
10/12, that MO person is going to see me coming and probably shut me out.
Remember, that person doesn't know your story---he/she doesn't know that
you've been MO and know how they feel. If it had been me, I'd be thinking
"Oh, great. Some do-gooder who's going to try to sell me some herbal
weight loss stuff or something." I think the best thing is to keep
yourself open to talking with others, and if a moment presents itself then
go for it. However, don't go looking for people to "convert"---it
might make you feel good, but would probably do more harm than good.
— Susan S.
October 12, 2001
Well I found out about the surgery by reading a magazine article about it.
I wish I would have known sooner about it though. I find the best way to
tell people is to tell them that you are having the surgery and if they
want to know about it they will ask. I am not sure if I would do this with
a complete stranger, but I do think that the word needs to get out there a
little better.
— [Anonymous]
October 12, 2001
Contrary to some of these answers, not everyone is internet savvy. There
are attendees to my support group who don't have computers (mostly older
people who don't think they need them) email addresses, or have even heard
of this site. I was always taught not to tell someone something that they
already knew. Like one of the previous posters, people know they're MO. I
am not very vocal about my surgery but I am about my weightloss and always
tell people who ask that I had surgery. I've found that even if *they*
don't need to lose weight, they know someone or are related to someone who
is MO. Just recently I was asked by a tall skinny co-worker who is married
to a MO woman if he could have my home phone # so that she could contact
me. With strangers, I'd be mortified if someone came to me with such a
suggestion (especially if I'd never heard of it). I guess in the work
situation you could put out the "word" that you had surgery and
believe me, it will get back to the MO person. Perhaps they will talk to
you, perhaps not. But they may be spurred to do some research. Good luck
and God Bless you for wanting to help others.
— Kimberly L.
October 12, 2001
I'm kind of torn on this one. I have encourage WLS and promoted this site
to those that have noticed my weight loss, but I'm not comfortable with
telling a complete stranger. I truly don't believe that there are morbid
obesed people that wouldn't like to lose weight, but there are some that
have accepted themselves for who they are, and they are truly happy. I was
happy at 370 pounds, but I also wanted to lose weight. I just didn't know
how. If I were in a restaurant with my "trough" in front of me,
it would have made me uncomfortable or depressed for a stranger to
acknowledge my weight problem. However, if I were alone in a clothing
store or the beauty parlor, I wouldn't have been offended. Use good
judgement when approaching people. Don't do it in front of others or while
they're eating. It is important that we spread the good news of hope, and
as hurtful as it may have been, I thank God every day my boss confronted
me. He said it once, and left me to make up my own mind. A couple of
months later, I came back to him and we cried together, and he helped me on
my journey.
— Tammy W.
October 12, 2001
I tell everyone I know about the surgery, n the hopes the info will filter
to people who can use it. So far I have been cutious about talking to
perfect strangers who I have never spoken too. I was tempted to for one guy
whos shirt said BIG PACKAGE. I was just a couple weeks post op when I saw
him. He must of been 500 pounds. If I see him again I will mention it. I
have no problem starting a conversation with anyone, but dont want to
offend anyone.
— bob-haller
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