Question:
has anyone's sex drive changed?
Since my surgery I really have no desire for sex and my breast are really sensative and I don't want my husband to touch them — minkii68 (posted on December 20, 2007)
December 20, 2007
I am a male who has lost 75 pounds. My sex drive has changed from not
caring to almost being a teenager again (I am 47) Hang in there as you lose
weight and your body image changes you will probably start to desire as you
feel sexy again. It is in your mind also!
— JSlaughter
December 20, 2007
Well........Maybe it's because.....well I'm not sure about your body, but
the incisions are close to my breast and there is some fear. I am 10days
out from surgery, and things do seem off, and I do worry about him hurting
my breast in some way. Since everything went south and no longer stands up
like when I was 13, I also realize how heavy they seem now, expecially
since one of them is near the drain port. Good luck,and hopefully this
will pass. You didn't say how long it's been since you had surgery, that
may also be part of the equation.
— faunemarie
December 20, 2007
i was hoping the surgery would have changed my desire to have sex!! lol
guess what- it didnt.... the thought of it still turns me off. i too am
very sore up top. would probably knock my husband out, if he tried to touch
them. i dont think i would worry too much. i would bet if i had to guess,
because our self - esteem has been low for so long, we will need some time
to re gain our confidence. i wish you the best of luck. i know i said at
one time: Merry Christmas to Me!!!--now there will be No-more
Silent-Nights!!! lol but there are!!!!
— kimcrain
December 20, 2007
I thought I was the only one! I have lost my desire since my surgery and I
don't know why. I used to have sex with my husband a few times a week, and
now ..... maybe once or twice a month, and it's usually just because I feel
bad for him, not that I really want it. I'm not sure if it's because my
skin is more loose and I'm more subconsious of my body now than I ever was
before. I know it's more of a problem to me than to my husband, I just
don't know what my problem is.
— Tamjpjb
December 20, 2007
...couldn't wait to get back to it...been there, done that, pain
ensued--due to hernia repair preformed at the same time as the
surgery...CANNOT wait to be pain free so that that part of my life will
return to normal (or better) again... well, we often joke that we're still
newlyweds (8 years married, 13 years together). Hang in there, blessings,
Leslie
— LuvNSummer
December 20, 2007
I am 22 months out and have got my drive back. We have been married for
almost 18 years and yes it sometimes seems like we are newlywedds again.
Now if I can just feel sexy. I have never in my life felt sexy or like I
would be sexy to someone. My husband and I have wen to adult stores and
bought clothing for both of us. It was nice to find something that would
fit and it was not in the plus size. I almost got the plus size but my
husband insited that it would be to big. He was right it would have been.
I have lost over 175 lbs and still head for the plus size dept. with out
thinking.
Good luck and give your self time your body is changing very rapidly so
just wait it out and think of the end results.
— gillis1345
December 20, 2007
Yes, my sex drive has diminished. It seems to take longer for me to
"get satisfied" and I wonder if it's because the skin is flabbier
and looser "down there", thus diminishing the sensation. At
times, my breasts feel sensitive, too. My husband and I work around these
issues by talking about it and coming up with alternatives. I find that
having a positive attitude and taking a shot at engaging in intimacy even
when I'm not in the mood, will often turn things around. Good luck to you!
— Patricia R.
December 21, 2007
You do not mention your age and I tried to pull up your profile and was not
able to get there. However, that said, I am 59 years old, and I feel
exactly the same way. My PCP has been working with me on hormone
replacements, she is hesitant about giving too much due to my being a
smoker. It has gotten to where it is at least, not unbearably painful, but
certainly not enjoyable. It has nothing what so ever to do with my body
image, it's higher than it has ever been, although my boobs look like tube
socks. Hubby is such a sweetheart he swears that I am the most beautiful
thing in the world, but he said that when I was over 300 lbs. But, he does
notice other men looking, which they never did before, and he is soooo
good, he does not push the fact, but does tell me it is harder for him to
do that because , to him, I am just so darn SEXY!. Whatever, I do not enjoy
sex the way I used to, the desire is just gone. Hopefully, someone else has
experienced this and can help the both of us with the problem.
Patticake
— Patticake
December 21, 2007
I am 4 years post op, 34 years old & have ZEDO sex drive since my
surgery. After about 2 years I talked to my doctor about it & he told
me that there was nothing he could do about it, but the sudden drop in
weight could have changed my hormoes. We went from daily to a few times a
month & I ONLY do it for my husband, I have NO desire & I HATE
IT!!! The only thing I can come up with & this is pretty vain, but I
use to take such pride in my wonderful DD breasts & now I have next to
nothing & what I have looks like a 95 year old woman, I am without a
doubt going to get implants but it's just a matter of coming up with the
money, if I have no drive after that I don't know what.....it is REALLY
REALLY affecting my marriage, my hubby CAN'T keep his hands off of me with
my new body & I would rather scrub the toilet than have sex.......and
when we are having sex, I am normally THINKING about scrubbing the
toilet......SAD!!!!! I have gotten a few questionairres from my surgeon
since the surgery & sex drive has ALWAYS been on there, if your sex
drive has changed since surgery, so I think, unfortunately this may be
common. :-(
— heatherb
December 21, 2007
Lack of sex drive and sensitive breasts are major signs that you are
dealing with some hormonal changes. You may want to check in with your
doctor or GYN about this... get some lab work. As your body adjusts, you
may find that your sex drive increases and your breast sensitivity
decreases. You may need some estrogen or testosterone to balance things
out, available as a pill, cream/lotion, patch, or injection.
Best wishes.
— mrsidknee
December 21, 2007
Wow,, thise sounds as if i wrote it.. I too hate sex!! My hubby thinks
that I too am sexy and wants sex all the time like he was in high school
and yet i feel like i am 105, and think like its yuckky or something.. Its
a total turn off.. Why????if you find out let the rest of us know.. thank
you..
— babesintoyland
December 21, 2007
Melinda, I looked on your profile and can't tell how old you are. For
women, I think that the loss of sex drive is not uncommon. I think for men
it could be different, and for younger women the same, but if you are past
40, I think it could be possible that this is not uncommon for us. I am
47, and during a recent physical discovered that I am fully menopausal.
Not a surprise for me. Sex drive is pretty bad for me. That is the bad
news. The good news is that I love my husband and I keep trying to fill
that need for him. Sex is not just about me, it is also about him, and I
adore him and love him. It is a way to give to him my love. They make
creams and lotions that will aid in moisture and sometimes I think we just
need to give of ourselves to our spouse, they need us close. Regarding
your breasts, I also have that a lot. This is also very difficult for me,
but again, I just work with my husband to help him understand my
tenderness. I tell him when it is more than uncomfortable and hurts, and
relax when it is minor. Growing older will happen for everyone, we have to
learn and adjust to our spouses as we grow older. I think wls surgery
plays a part in this, but I am not sure how. Take care. Patricia P.
— Patricia P
December 22, 2007
Has anyone had/tried or even seen any liquid protein suppliments. When I
was in college and had lost about 35 pounds and had gotten way too thin, my
doctor put me on some liquid protein that was 2 tablespoons per serving, it
was gross to mix with water (as directed) but I would do the tablespoons
then chase with water... easier for me to handle. Anyhow I purchased it at
GNC back then and cannot seem to find it anymore. Anyone out there have
any insights to share on the liquid protein. These shakes I can handle
just fine but they fill me up so much, I still worry that maybe I am going
to stretch the pouch, sack, funnel... out, and I don't want that. Thank
you all for your great insights. These Q&As are so helpful. Leslie
— LuvNSummer
December 22, 2007
Has anyone had/tried or even seen any liquid protein suppliments. When I
was in college and had lost about 35 pounds and had gotten way too thin, my
doctor put me on some liquid protein that was 2 tablespoons per serving, it
was gross to mix with water (as directed) but I would do the tablespoons
then chase with water... easier for me to handle. Anyhow I purchased it at
GNC back then and cannot seem to find it anymore. Anyone out there have
any insights to share on the liquid protein. These shakes I can handle
just fine but they fill me up so much, I still worry that maybe I am going
to stretch the pouch, sack, funnel... out, and I don't want that. Thank
you all for your great insights. These Q&As are so helpful. Leslie
— LuvNSummer
December 25, 2007
I agree with Patricia Rockwell. Just try to go with the flow. I think our
husbands can feel a little insecure about our new bodies. I think they
wonder if we still find them desirable, especially since people are always
telling us how great we are looking. Just try to think of it as your gift
to him for now. Your drive will return just try not to over think it. Pat
— pjennjr
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