Question:
Testing for RNY--why sad feelings?
I'll ready for wls, but for some reason feel a little sad about the decision. I have accepted the fact that I need help--this is a big step for me. Can't wait to be on the losinig side. We are expecting to have the procedure done around end of July 2008 . — Toby2 (posted on June 5, 2008)
June 5, 2008
Normal. We all need to grieve for the loss of a way of life. This life
has been an unhealthy one but it is familiar and we know it well and that's
comforting. We are looking froward to great change, some of it very
unknown and that can be intimidating and scary. Two days before my
surgery, I started to get cold feet. Mainly the emotions taking over and I
had to tell myself that I had researched this and made a rational,
unemotional decision at the time and not to think about it any more but to
just follow the steps they were telling me to take and get through it. Now
I am on the other side and the adjustment is still hard but I know it is
for the best. I know for me the fight is not over and there is still much
work to do but I have a new tool and I am hoping that will enable me to
succeed where I have never been able to succeed before. When I get real
discouraged, I sometimes go and look at the before and after pics and that
lifts me up. Hang in there!
Laura
— waterlover
June 5, 2008
I felt a little sad too. Mainly because I wished so much that I didn't have
to alter my body to be thin. It made me sad that of all the things I have
accomplished with such pride and success...losing weight and keeping it off
was my biggest and only real failure.
It's sad to be defeated by obesity and to have to go to such extremes to
just be normal and healthy again. You are not alone in feeling sad...and
maybe even have that slight twinge of hope that maybe you can still turn
back and lose the weight yourself...and then you read the success and the
stories and you just know that this sounds so much easier even with all the
immense research you have done by asking a million awesome questions! And
keeping everyone here busy...and many others educated by asking the
questions they didn't think of! Don't be sad...let it go, knowing that you
were not alone in trying to be a normal size and in better health. Know
that if it were so easy...so many of us would not have done surgery. For
many of us, it was our last resort. It was for me. I didn;'t want to live
anymore in my body...I do now and am thankful everyday that I got a second
chance. Most of us are so much happier that we did WLS and so much
healthier because of it. You will be too. You ARE ready...You are going to
do so well. You know what to expect and you have a HUGE support group here.
Practice what you've learned while you wait for the date. And before you
know it...the day will be here and you WILL be on the losing side.
— .Anita R.
June 5, 2008
I remember going thru this!!!LOL!!!! It was almost like I had to apologize
for my decision to have WLS!!! Gyurl...TREAT urself....be kind to
you...appreciate all u have done to encourage others and now recognize u
have to encourage urself. U feel sad bcuz ur way of life and thinkin is
going to change DRAMATICALLY and put u in an uncomfortable, unfamiliar
place but.......trust us..u will NEVER regret ur decision to to have
wls...the only regret I have is waiting so long 2 decide. The sad feelings
is a part of grieving your loss of your "normal" routine. My
sister had RNY 3 mnths ago and is grieving this same loss as well as the
loss of her son 1 1/2 yrs ago to a tragic MVA along with the fact that my
other sis is suing her for the loss of HER son in the same accident!!!!
BUT...she hang in there and realize that she need to takce care of her....
— caymanbabe
June 6, 2008
I just started my own WLSJ. Had my first class this week and sent my letter
to my doctor to fill out for entrance into the program. After I sent the
letter in I knew I had taken a serious step and I was feeling anxiety and
impatience with myself ---- why couldn't I just have successfully lost
weight and not have to take this drastic step? But I know how many times
I've tried and I know how many times I've failed. And I know at my age (54)
with diabetes, HBP & arthritis in my knees I have reached a point
where I MUST improve my quality of life.....or things are going to get
worse as I get older. So I'm going ahead with it. Mixed emotions are going
to be common, so is fear and worry and expectation anxiety. There are just
folks like us who just can't do it left to our own devices. I've tried it
all, Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous, Herbalife, appetite
suppressants, hypnosis, acupuncture and I've tried this stuff ever since my
teens on thru now. I get angry too at the unfairness of folks who appear
to not have a problem with eating and keep maintaining a healthy weight. I
get angry at men who usuallly can eat alot more than women and stay normal
weight. (Some men act like women who are overweight are just pathetic lazy
and self indulgent and this really burns me). I have an illness and now
there is something out there that can help me. Sooooooo, I'm going for it.
I've looked at the pros and cons, weighed my choices and here I go. Gotta
just step out there and DO it. You've taken that step....now be confident
in it, knowing you are human and will have regrets and questions and human
feelings. I feel the same way, but like you I so want to have a better life
and quit carrying around all this extra weight. God bless!!!!!
— zieberrae
June 6, 2008
It's almost like saying good-bye to your best friend. In my case anyhow!
There is a grieving process. But if you are firm on the decision to have
surgery, your mind and heart are in the preparation process anyhow. Just
use this as a catapult and walk out the rest of the journey ONE STEP AT A
TIME! Best of luck to you.
— bariatricdivalatina
June 6, 2008
Weight carries a big emotional burden and guilt. The part that bothers a
lot of folks is the fact that their weight got so bad that the only option
left was surgery. I felt that way, but I knew it was the right decision.
With therapy and support, I've come to accept it. Some people just do not
have the ability to stay at a healthy weight without the right tools and
the right support system. Find yourself a good therapist who deals with
depression and eating issues. They can help you put things in perspective.
— gonnadoit
June 6, 2008
It is a hard decision and I don't know why we all are so hard on ourselfs,
like we failed at life. The fact is after 6-8 weeks, you will see the
light at the end of the tunnel and things will be brighter, and much
better. I never failled at anything I wanted to do in life except weight
loss. I tried everythging and really worked at it. But you know this is
simply another change to lose weight that you can succeed at! If you went
to the hospital today and were told you appendex was about to rupture and
it had to come out, you would not think twice about it, but you know this
surgery is about the same as having your appendex out. So look at the good
you are doing for yourself and be happy. We are happy for you, because
this will end the stops for happy meals for you and you will be joining us
that made the choice and now are getting healthier every day. Best of
success to you. You made the right choice.
— William (Bill) wmil
June 8, 2008
Having weight loss surgery was the best decision I ever made. However, I
struggled with it because I was sad that it had to come to that point (I
used to weigh 140, and day of srgery was 250). I also had to say goodbye to
my best friend - food. Food had always been there for me, through good
times and bad, and it is difficult. I now know I could've never done it
without Lapband. It is my stop sign and my new best friend! Good luck to
you..it will be the best decision you have ever made. I've lost 60lbs and
feel amazing...and I'm still going!! :)
— soonerjadeou
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