Question:
HELP!!! Need some realistic advise! Really struggling....
Hi. I had gastric bypass surgery in March of 2008. Since then I have lost 65 lbs. I am down to about 212 lbs, size 18. My problem is that I discovered that I can eat sugar, and have been doing so the last 4 months. I have not lost any weight in the past 4 months. I know that I need to stop eating the sugar, but it's very hard to do. I also have not been excercising. I am at a point where I need to get motivated and actually work hard at this and I am struggling. I suffer from depression and have a 4 year old while working full-time, if that gives you a clearer picture of what I deal with every day. I do have a wonderful husband who is very supportive as well. I am wondering if there is anyone else out there that has struggled with these issues and how they overcame them and/or non-judgemental suggestions on how to get back on track. I could really use some encouragement! Thanks for reading! Heather — Heather36 (posted on January 18, 2009)
January 18, 2009
Heather,
I too have found that I can eat sugar, but not in great quantity. However,
I have been able to control my craving and stick to a healthy diet. First
and foremost, I visit OH daily and take time out to update my profile. As
I fill in journal entries, I get a chance to come back and look at it
later, which is always helpful. In addition, I use fitday.com to log all
of my food intake. If you add candy or sugar, you can really see the
difference it makes in your calorie intake. What you should remember is
that if you are eating sugar and not exercising (which I will admit, I am
not a big exerciser yet) you will not lose weight because you will be
consuming more calories than you are burning. Another thing you should
think about is why do you want to eat those types of things? You had
gastric bypass surgery for a reason, so do you really want to gain back the
65 lbs you have lost? I am 9 mos post op and have lost 145 lbs (currently
at 218) and each time I think about eating something unhealty, I ask myself
if I want to gain back all the weight I've worked so hard to lose? You CAN
do this and if you need anyone to talk to, just send me a message. Good
luck!!!
— Brandy H.
January 18, 2009
My RNY was in May, 2006. I've lost 150 pounds and I can eat sugar or fatty
foods without dumping. So, it boils down to a "mental game" to a
great degree. The surgery is a tool towards wt loss, and you have to
"exercise your mind" to use the tool properly. Exercise is an
important component of the surgery. Most wt loss during the 126 6-8 months
is almost effortless. Past that time frame it takes effort. You need to
read labels carefully, take all your supplements, get in your 64 oz of
water, EXERCISE (simple walking will suffice)--and I'd strongly urge you to
attend regualr suuport meetings. Support of other post ops will help you
through these struggles. You have to learn to control what you put into
your mouth. I eat somewhat normally at 32 months post op, only in smaller
quantities. I do indulge some "treats" on occasion, but I know
the consequences of doing sugars on a regular basis. I went from a size 5XL
shirt to either a large or 1X, depending on the brand. Sounds like you need
additional support and motivation--something a support group will help
with. DAVE
— Dave Chambers
January 18, 2009
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It just goes to show that the
surgery changes the stomach and not the head. Did you have to go to
behavioral therapy classes prior to your surgery? Did you have a psych
eval? If you did, contact that person for suggestions. I would also check
in with you nutritionist. You already know the weight's not coming off
without some drastic changes. So go to those people who helped you start
those changes in the first place. Good Luck, and let us know how you make
out.
— Shirley D.
January 18, 2009
— poodie
January 18, 2009
I discovered that I can eat corn pops. That is something like cheese puffs
and they dissolve in your mouth. I was one of those people who said that I
just couldn't lose weight. I did have a thyroid problem but I used that as
an excuse to keep eating. I finally broke the cycle when I got a good
friend that is my accountability partner. We have to report each day to
each other everything we eat. We write it down and add up the calories. I
try to keep mind around 800 a day. When I hit goal weight I will increase
it to 1,200-1,500. What I learned is if you want to maintain weight you
should consume 1,500. You can only lose a lb by cutting out 2,500
calories. You do the math. I did and it shocked the crap out of me. I
was making myself not lose weight. Good luck on getting back on the path,
and get yourself an accountability partner. She also gets me to the pool
every day for exercise.
— susangielda06
January 18, 2009
Since what we're talking about is will power then it's all up to you to
decide what is the most important to you. I completely understand
struggling because if we had will power we wouldn't have needed the surgery
in the first place. If you can't DECIDE that you have to do this, then no
one can help you. I would strongly suggest a 2 week detox. Go back to the
beginning and push yourself through the liquid diet again. That's what
gave me the strength in the beginning. I can now eat sugars and fats but
do my best to choose good ones. Anything that is a temptation and is bad
does not come in my house. My kids get treats that aren't temptations to
me...so no snickers or kitkats in the house. They can have all the
lollipops and tootsie rolls they want because I hate those. :) No crunchy
cheetos in the house. They can have cheetos puffs or doritoes because I
hate those. No coke. They can have ANYTHING except coke or dr pepper in
the house. When DH wants a dr pepper, he gets a 20 oz or a fountain drink
and drinks it all up. My son drinks root beer because I can't even stand
the smell of it. Then I keep treats on hand that I DO like that satisfy my
sweet tooth. South beach peanut butter bars are pretty awesome. Frozen
yogurt...it has a bit of sugar but can get zero fat and it's pretty
awesome. Sugar free fat free chocolate pudding or cheese cake pudding
layered with fat free coolwhip in a beautiful dish. It looks like it's
decadent and tastes just as good! Need a crunch like a cone? Sprinkle All
Bran bran buds or something like Kashi Go lean crunch on your frozen
yogurt. Check out some of the sweet treat recipes on eggface's blog.
she's already put all the work into it. All you have to do is go see how to
make some. She has some awesome microwave cakes for those quick gotta have
it moments! (if you can't find the blog it's
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com )
— Launa N.
January 18, 2009
Hi Heather,
WOW, I am having the same problem, only I am 1 1/2 years out of surgery. I
can and do eat just about everything except sugary milk products they make
me ill, not dump but I do not feel well if I eat them so it helps me to
stay away from them. The only advice I can give you and myself is DO NOT
GIVE UP!!!!! We can do this. We have come this far and we can win. I went
from 297 to 192 and I have a very hard time getting below the 192. It took
for ever to break the 200 mark but I did it and you can too. I don't drink
the water as I should, so maybe I should try that a little bit harder, and
exercise, I was very faithful to that and slacked off on it so I will step
that up too. I feel your pain, we just need our heads to be as strong as
our urges, and Heather we can do this. I have depression too, along with a
great husband, my job is not as steady as I'd like it to be but hopefully
it will turn into a full time position. So honey, don't give up we can do
this, just go back to the basics and keep plugging along. I have, and when
I fall off the track I forgive myself and get back on the road to success,
You can do it too. Remember you are a beautiful person, always will be,
don't forget that. So you need to Keep on Keeping on. You can do it!
sincerely
Kathy
— kasteboo
January 18, 2009
These are all very "nice" answers. Very sweet and supportive. The
problem is that what you are doing to yourself is neither sweet nor
supportive to your body!! I know that you only want "supportive"
answers and this is one of those even if you don't think that it is....
Give your head a shake, you are using excuses to allow yourself to fail. It
sounds like you decided early on that you would be one of the ones to NOT
lose the weight. YOU are the only one that can MAKE yourself do this! Do
you WANT to be big for the rest of your life?? What were the reasons that
you decided to do this in the first place?? Do you want to be around to
play with your four year old's children?? Or do you want your 4 year old
to have to tell his/her children about their grandma that died due to
weight-related illnesses?? Kick yourself in the behind and get back on
track. You DO deserve this! So does your little one!! Go back and do the 5
day pouch test, get rid of the carbs and sugars in the house, the others do
NOT need them, no matter what they say!!
Do this for you!! Good luck!
— anitak
January 18, 2009
We all have our rough paths in life. You are the only one that can change
your life, but know that there are place to find the support. Go back to
basics. Check in with your surgeon, a good surgeon provides follow up
classes or offers a support group. If you are not already a part of a
support group, find one and get yourself there. Talk to your doctor to get
you something to help manage your depression for a brief time until you can
get it under control. Your personal support group is you husband and 4yr
old, go for walks or a bike ride, go to the park and just play. I am a
single mom of 5 kids working 40+ hours a week. I am 3yr out 268 down to
125, I still have to do back to basic checks. You hit platues but you fight
harder and get past it until the next, that is called life. I fought so I
could be alive for my 5 kids and now my 2new grandchildren.
— Rychelle
January 19, 2009
You still have several good months of losing some serious weight faster
than if you wait til you start gaining! That's exactly what will happen if
you don't pick yourself up and start moving your body and mind and spirit!
YOU have got to replace that sugar and simple carbs with better
choices...Take a deep breath and go to your cupboards with a trash bag and
start throwing away OR giving away the junk you are eating! ( I KNOW, YOU
KNOW, WAHT THEY ARE! ::Winks::) Make a list of healthy food that you like
and some ideas for meals for he next week and stick to it! Even plan your
snacks and have them ready! When you TAKE these kind of measures you don't
give yourself room to stray or permission to make bad choices or the
temptation of having it readily available... and say "I'll just order
a pizza tonight" or open this package of cookies....There are so many
ways to eat amazing tasty and decadent healthy foods without all the sugar
and simple carbs...I also suggest you look at Eggfaces blog as someone else
suggested and see the amazing recipes Shelly (Eggface) makes without simple
carbs and sugar...The woman is just amazing...She loves food like I do!
Like you do...but she made a decision to NOT give up eating or go on a
bland and boring diet...She found a way to take old unhealthy foods she
loves and make them WLS friendly...I have tried dozens of her recipes and
all I can say is WOWOWOW! She's a great inspiration. You really have to
ask yourself WHY you are sabotaging your success. You need to dig deep and
ask...WHY am I eating this "sugar item" rather than a nice juicy
piece of fruit...or handful of berries... Ask yourself too...AM I REALLY
HUNGRY? Or did I have a bad day a need a hug in the means of something
tasty! You have got to take back control and step away from the
"feelings of doom"...And allow yourself the right to be healthy
and thin and happy so you can radiate that unto your child/ren. You have
to find other things in your life that make you happy other than food.
Your daughter for example. This is a great time to make it about her and
not about your job or your depression or what you deal with...What does she
deal with? What does she deserve? Show her how to be healthy and make the
best of every situation by example...Throw your love into everything you do
while with her. Get her in the kitchen and try making some healthy new
food recipes. On weekend make casseroles for the week...Or see if you can
come up with cool desserts to make from fruit, SF jello or puddings and
yogurt and SF cool whip...nuts...berries...pumpkin, cinnamon, spices...etc!
Try new things and ditch the old habits! Try eating only til you are
full...Teach your child to chew chew chew with you so she starts good
habits too! Make cool fruity herbal teas as drinks rather than soda...I
just made a huge pitcher of Acai tea (by Stash) and added some Stevia
(natural sweetener) for a light sweeten drink rather than just plain old
water....I refill water bottles with teas and take them everywhere I go!
Winter is great cause they stay cold in the car! LOL In the summer I carry
a cooler packed with drinks and healthy snacks incase I am out late or need
a quick snack or meal without facing the "where can I eat in a hurry
dilemma!" Often that is a disaster! Ultimately it's not even about
food...It's about the issues "you deal with daily" that need to
be adjusted...dealt with...made less significant somehow...what ever you
have to do to easy the stress so you can enjoy life. If that means talking
to a therapist and dealing with these things.....do it...We all have issues
and problems that lead us to becoming MO...We all have an eating disorder
that we fear...We all have humiliation...We all made the decision to let a
doctor cut us open so we could be thinner and healthier...But if you do not
deal with the issues that got you MO...You will be on and off track the
rest of your life and it will be a struggle...Face your demons...Let go of
the past...Put your child's needs ahead of yours...But take time for you
too! You are lucky to have a wonderful supportive husband too...So keep
him healthy too! Mom's have a huge responsibility as "heart of the
family" and it's not always a welcomed job...but if mom is not happy
and healthy...the family as a unit suffers too...You can do this...I know
you want it...and YOU need to know that you DO deserve it...Begin by
telling yourself that...and when you want something sweet and
comforting...Reach for a hug from your 4 year old and see if that doesn't
help first! Fruit second! :)
— .Anita R.
January 19, 2009
Hi. I am 8 months out and I am down 111. My weight loss is slow because I
found out that I to could eat sugar and fatty food without dumping. I am
struggling with sugars and fatty food. I am a picky eater and I constantly
struggle with food choices. You are not alone. I am not giving up because
I do not want my surgery to be in vain. I believe within my heart that the
surgery is my only way out of this unhealthy body, therefore, I can not
give up. I do not want to be labeled a failure again. I can and I will
defeat my struggle with my weight. You can do it as well. Sometimes we
have to encourage ourselves. Please keep in touch.
— cclayton
January 19, 2009
Heather,
Yes, I do know what you are going thru. I don't know what sugar you are
eating but I have found replacing ice cream with yogurt, soda with green
tea or sweet tea made with splenda, instead of chips veggies, fruits and
sometimes I eat cheeses but do check with a nutritionist because everyone
is different. I swim, exercise. My motivation, at 54, is to look and feel
better. All my kids are grown and I want to be around at least long enough
to see my first great grandchild. Look into nia. Website is nia.com.
You will find that fun and you will meet other people who want to improve
their fitness just like you do. Good Luck and God Bless,
vinnigirl, retired RN
— vinnigirl
January 19, 2009
Hi Heather.
I had my surgery in Sept 08 and experienced my first "plateau"
already. I actually have gained 5lbs back and very down about it. Once the
lap band place told me to get my protein from solid foods now instead of
from "mushies" I soon went from solid proteins to back to my bad
old habits.
I'm not ashamed to say that I have gone to counseling for my food addiction
now and I'm writing in a journal. I am starting to deal with some emotional
issues and I can already feel that it's helping me get back on track with
my diet and self-esteem. I now can feel that I am in control and that I can
and WILL do this. I know that there will be plateaus and set-backs, but
it's vitally important to me and I think many others to remember-don't quit
trying!! If one thing doesn't work, try something else. We're all
different, so not everything will work for everybody. I hope this has been
helpful-or at least encouraging! Peaches.
— peaches62
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