Question:
how to get spouse to adjust sexual needs change

how after several years spouse whom in of normal weight, but used to having to put extra muscle tone lets just say when we were obese, now that we are of normal weight me for one would now be considered extra petite, i do not require his extra physical effort often times it can become painful/unomfortable, how to get him to adjust to my body type, im afraid he is gonna break me, he is just doing as he always has but not relizing I now require alot less force and effort    — niteshadow181 (posted on June 16, 2006)

June 16, 2006
Tell him.
   — 1968 Loser

June 16, 2006
there is a post wls forum related to sex on these pages. Click forums, go down and find the sex related ones and see about posting on there. I haven't looked at it yet, but it may have some ideas. Another idea, switch positions and you do the work.
   — geneswife

June 17, 2006
This is a very common issue. I would make a game of it. You show him what you want to do position. I would tak to him. Make sure you tell him how wonderful he is and you love him but need to share somthing...... I would say I love when we make love and I want to share this with you becasue I love you and I don't want it to be an issue. Good Luck
   — T. Rosario

June 17, 2006
I am a little late in responding - but, my advise is to make sure you do communicate this with your husband. The most important part, however, is timing. Do not have this discussion while in bed. If you do this outside of the sexual arena, your hubby is less likley to go on the defensive. Furthermore, everyone knows that if you stroke a man's ego, he is like a little lamb. Tell him you never realized how big he is and that now that you are smaller you need for him to be more gentle with his big, huge....... Well, you get the idea. Men eat this stuff up - and the best part is that it is mostly true. You have changed and therefore what he has to offer has changed.....its all relative! Good Luck!
   — MissKimberly

June 18, 2006
Girl its your body and your the boss, you have want he wants, and now that you are smaller, he wants it more. So with that in mind you call the shots, so tell him what feels good and what doesn't after all you have to be satisfied too. These ladies have offered some good advise, now the ball-smile is in your hads....You go girl...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....put a handle on it. .smile.
   — domino1123

June 18, 2006
Dee- Don't want to seem rude or stupid-- but have you tried just telling him that he's hurting you. I know when I told my husband that it was a bit on the painful side he did everything he could to make it right... Good Luck...
   — tynkris

Click Here to Return