Question:
I have my first consult may 14 and very nervous,scared,and excited.
i have researched this site for a few months now,and i have learned alot about it.my family is against this surgery,because of the risk,so i have no support from them at all.anyone else in my shoes? — deb44m (posted on May 8, 2002)
May 8, 2002
Yep. I am right there with you. My consult is scheduled for June 13th and
everyone on my side of the family is totally against me having the surgery.
Now my DH's family is all for it. They think that it will be great for us
to go thru this and go thru it together. The complications related to this
surgery are really not that much higher than with any surgery. Ask your
family if they would have objections if you had to have back surgery or
knee surgery or even a c-section. The complications with WLS is the same
as with all of them. Hope this helps!!!
— Renee S.
May 8, 2002
I'm in exactly the same situation. My husband is terrified that something
will go wrong. He thinks I have totally gone nuts. I must say, I didn't
hear any complaints when I went to get a tubal ligation. Of course he
claims that you cannot compare the two. To that, I say a big WHATEVER!
Then we have my "skinny" friends who all believe that I just have
to find the "perfect" diet. Like the hundreds that I tried
already just weren't right for me. I think the worst part of all of this,
is that I am so excited about this surgery and have no one to talk about it
with. Thank God for this website. It really keeps me motivated. My first
consultation is on June 24th and I cannot wait to get the ball
rolling....with or without the support of my close friends and family.
Good luck to you and if you ever need someone to chat with feel free to
e-mail me.
— amd0721
May 8, 2002
I have my consult May 14th also. I guess I'm too old
(47) and ornery to be scared and nervous; prob. a tad bit
TOO excited at that/and the 10 years after childbirth and 10 yrs of gaining
weight and not losing it put me
in this frame of mind. It is SO nice to be able to read this
forum and know others out there feel like I d.
Both my parents families have a majority of heavy women, so
I am not in your shoes. HOWEVER, don't let what others
think sway your decisions. It's YOUR life, not theirs.
Just because they're family doesn't mean everything they
think or say is in YOUR best interest. If you're over 18, take control,
you're an adult and do what's best for YOU.
You are in my prayers and yes, when it's all over, you'll
be glad. If I seem bossy , I apologize, it's my 20
yr military training speaking up.
I've run into SO many who have an RNY and NO ONE
regrets it. That's why I think it's the safest thing
out there. Am having it done laproscopically, which is the
less invasive. Best wishes and keep strong
— Deb D.
May 8, 2002
I have my first consult on May 15th. I am also very excited, but also very
nervous. I have not told many people yet. So far, no major opposition in
my family.
I guess I am nervous because it is so permanent. Once you have the
surgery, there is no turning back! I know that this is really a plus, but,
it's still scarey. It seems as though most people are happy afterwards and
don't regret it. I think what makes me most nervous is that it is like
walking into the unknown. Since the surgery effects everyone differently,
I don't really know what to expect. I'm sure a lot of fears will be
addressed by the surgeon. Good luck in your consult and keep chatting in
here. It really helps when I start to have doubts.
— Marie W.
May 8, 2002
***5/08/02***
I had my final consult today and am excited. I also am SCARED. My
husband was not "allowing" me to do this and I finally got him to
a seminar with my Dr. and he now is 100% supportive. He has been to EVERY
meeting and the support group meetings as well. Although he said he is
extreamly afraid of this he knows that is my hearts desire. I haven't told
any family members and only co-workers know about my surgery. This site is
wonderful.
— Janet H.
May 8, 2002
Hi Debra,
I just wanted to say that my first consult is the same day as you-May
14th-And I am so excited! But also nervous! I've been researching for some
time now and find this site to very, very helpful. I haven't told my
family or even my co-workers about my intentions...My husband is totally
behind me though. I don't think I'm going to say anything to my
co-workers...I haven't decided yet. But I don't think I will share this
with them. Personal choice. And I want to tell my family but I've chosen
to keep it a secret because I want it to be a surprise! I hope you keep
well and wish you all the best on this wonderful journey!
— K D.
May 9, 2002
I have my first initial consult on May 13th. I am really scared also. My
family does not support me either. They do not think I am big enough to
get the surgery. I was always told it is not how other people perceive
you, but how you perceive yourself. I am not happy with my appearance and
my health. I have hypertension due to my weight. I may not look too big,
but obviously my weight is doing something.
— Tarsha B.
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