Question:
DO YOU FIND THAT YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER IS YOUR BIGGEST CREDIC??
MY SISTER AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS, WE LOOK LIKE TWINS BUT WE ARE FOUR YEARS APART. SHE IS HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME WITH ME HAVING THIS SURGERY. WE GOT FAT TOGETHER,I SAID LETS LOOSE TOGETHER FOR GOOD. SHE INSISTS THAT I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.BUT WE HAVE BEEN GYM,DIETING ALL OF ARE LIVES AND WE ARE STILL HEAVWEIGHTS..SHE KEEPS MAKING COMENTS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE SAYING YOU WONT BE ABLE TO DO THIS..HOW CAN I HELP HER SEE SHE CAN DO THIS TO. AND TO BE SUPPORTIVE??? I LOVE HER DEARLY AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME ..MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN GREAT. HE AND MY SON ARE MY SUPPORT. BUT MY SISTER AND I ARE SO CLOSE..I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO COME BETWEEN US>> — LISA M. (posted on November 1, 2003)
October 31, 2003
Let me first say that I too am extremely close with my family as well.
It's Mom,Dad, my sister, and I. They all 3 were very worried about me
getting this done. But to be honest even though they felt this way in my
heart I knew it was the right thing the only thing that I could do to save
my life. There are times in our lives when we cannot be bothered by what
others are feeling and thinking. Just ask that your sister understand that
you love her and you want the closeness you have now but that this is
something you have to do to give yourself a chance at a new life. You can
count on this your sister loves you very much and as much as she may not
admit this she is scared for you more than jealous. Just love her and let
her love you. Together you will be find the courage to get through
anything. I don't know what I would do without my sister. She is my best
friend. Let me tell you this. My father is was against this surgery went
through it with me, watched me lose weight, get healthier, get happier etc.
It's funny coming from the man who said I would never do this. Well on
July 25th he did it too. So we both now go through this journey together.
Luckily for my mom and sis they don't have to consider the surgery since
they are both pretty thin anyhow! (boogers) I wish you nothing but the
best of luck. Your husband and son sound wonderful. They love you now and
will love the new you even more. Please read my profile if you get the
chance.
— Kitty Kat
October 31, 2003
My wife Jen wasnt into WLS either at first. Get the surgery for YOURSELF,
then she may decide to follow along like my wife did after seeing my
success. I have some close friends and family who need WLS, but it has TO
BE THEIR INDIVIDUAL DECISION.
— bob-haller
October 31, 2003
As far as being a critic, I haven't had much of that problem with family
members. I have had a little of that from people who "heard" I
had the surgery to lose weight.
— raye
October 31, 2003
My baby brother and I are 10 months apart (Irish twins they always called
us)... he works with a sweet little gal that had the surgery about 3 years
ago, she lost 120 pounds and gained back 180 in that time... he thinks I'll
do the same... he's tough, and he's rude about it sometimes. Right now I am
pregnant and that doesn't make him happy either... he was scared he'd lose
me, and he hasn't, he's scared I'll disappoint myself and others, and I
have not (yet)... anyway I know he loves me and just wants the best...
perhaps that's all your sister wants... by the way my brother has had much
success with his Atkin's stuff, good for him, but this has worked for me. I
had RNY 7/18/02 and am down 140 pounds, like I said I am pregnant, but my
surgeon said I still have a nice window of opportunity to lose more...
we'll see. It's all about me, and I now have a great tool I did not have
before. I can eat less, now I have to make wiser choices as to what I do
with that tool, fill it with a snicker bar, or a piece of boiled chicken...
it's all up to me now... you'll be fine with this...best of luck.
— MF
November 1, 2003
When I told my sister about my surgery she e-mailed me every negative thing
you could ever hope to hear. She's a self proclaimed expert on wls because
of the "gobs of people she knows that have had it done". I was
warned that if I didn't die on the table I would probably live on the
toilet for the rest of my life! Post op she never called or even inquired
if I lived through it. So I know how hurt you're feelig. At least you and
your sister are close. You'll probably never convince her so just keep
loving her.
— Denise W.
November 2, 2003
Maybe your sister is worried that she won't have someone to share all those
forbiden foods with after the surgery or the social aspect behind it.. or
maybe she is worried she will have to face her own failed diet attempts
when you start losing. It might not hurt to have a heart to heart talk with
her and just tell her you need her support more than ever and that you
don't want this to come in between your special relationship together but
that you have chosen this for yourself. I have friends that I am very close
to and have known all my life like a sister, that weren't supportive at
first. It took me laying down the law so to speak and letting them know
that this is what I was going to do no matter what.. and even getting a
little angry before they would stop and take it seriously. I told them I'm
doing this with or without you... I would prefer with you. Point out some
other things you two share other than food.. things that will not change
after surgery that you will be able to do. Who knows maybe your sister will
decide to do the surgery herself after she sees how successful you are...
how great you look and feel. Also you could try to invite her to an apt
with your surgeon or a support group to get her more involved.
— Christine S.
November 2, 2003
When I first told my dad he acted the same way, I don't know why I guess
fear is probably the most likely factor.
He had 1001 ways I could do this without surgery, but yet he is still
100lbs over weight himself. Finally I told him I was tired of arguing with
him and stopped calling him, my grandma stepped in and told him again how I
felt then my surgery day came and once it was all done he hasn't been
negative since. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SIS! Just remember she loves you so
much!
— Saxbyd
November 3, 2003
Hi lisa!!! I totally had this problem. But i had total support from all
brothers and sisters, it was the in-laws that had bad info. My husbands
family would say, what about your kids, and he likes you the way you are,
and i would say, Yes, but i don't like the way I am!! And my brothers wife
would say, oh thats not for you, and i would say Do you know how much i
weigh? and she'd tell me well so and so died from that, or so and so had
problems, and only really fat people do that. But i would just say back
that being over 100lbs more than your supposed to be will kill you alone
from clogged artery's or heart attacks. So you just do what you need to do!
I'm proud i did it. I've lost about 29 lbs since surgery on 9-12-03 and to
some it would seem slow, but i couldn't have lost it on my own. And i can
run outside with my 2 boys that i live for!!! Good luck!!!!!
— Lynne W.
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