Question:
Did your personality change, or did you gain confidence after wls?

I've already gone to my consult, just waiting on the insurance to approve it. I have a feeling that when I loose this weight, my confidence and self-esteem is going to rise. I'm happily married for 8 years now, but I haven't been thin since I was 18 now 33, how is this going to affect me in my marriage? I think also, the reason I haven't worked for long periods of time is because of my weight, I've been in a "jack of all trades"... any commets?    — Dina M. (posted on March 22, 2002)

March 21, 2002
I am 3 1/2 months postop and still have about 70 lbs to go but while my personality hasn't necessarily changed, my confidence has soared. I'm no longer ashamed to be seen in public, I'm making plans for the future...sending away for my college transcripts and planning on re-enrolling, I no longer worry so much about what people think of me or search out their approval and Im sure many other things. Things are going great and I am sure life will just get better.
   — Donna L.

March 21, 2002
I too was very happily married for over 15 years when I had this surgery. I am 35. I am one year post op and my marriage is stronger then ever. I started at 270 and am now 154!!! My confidence has risen,and my hubby does indulge my shopping whims.... I think that if your marriage is strong BEFORE surgery and weight loss it will be better after.Hope this helps
   — colette W.

March 22, 2002
I was always fairly confident, but now I've noticed that I've stopped caring if people are looking at me. Another strange thing is that I feel absolutely no shame at the grocery store or at restaurants. I used to worry about other people staring at what I ate, but now I could care less!
   — PT LawMom

March 22, 2002
Hi, I had my surgery almost 6 months ago. I can tell you preop. I felt like hiding in a closet. I hated to go anywhere. My husband always thought I was ashamed to be seen with him and this caused us problems. But the truth of the matter is, that I just didn't feel like having people staring at me. I hated to go to the grocery store, if I bought candy or chips, I know that the cashier and customers (the thin ones anyhow) were thinking yeah does she ever need that stuff, now 75 lbs lighter and a whole lot healthier, when I go to the store and buy my kids treats, I dont' worry about what people think, I dont' care. I have a new lease on life. I am a whole lot better person. I guess I do have alot more confidence in myself than I did preop. Now I look at things and say I think I can I think I can. Or I know I can I know I can. lol. This surgery gives you alot. But you contribute alot with the way you deal with your diet and your life post op. Dont' sink back into the slum that you are not worthy of life. I just about did, and it is just not worth it. Good luck and god bless. OPEN RNY OCT 4 2001, BTC in COLUMBUS OHIO DOWN 75 lbs and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!!
   — TONYA B.

March 22, 2002
I think I have MUCH more confidence then I did when I was heavier. I wasn't happy with myself when I was heavier so I had a very negative outlook on life. I've noticed over the past month or so, with the additional weight loss, my attitude has gotten more positive. I think when I'm finished losing all the weight that I will be a VERY different person on the inside because I'll feel better about myself on the outside and that will eventually show to people.
   — Patty H.

March 22, 2002
I was confident and self-assured pre op, but I do notice more of that "I don't care" attitude some other posters mentioned. Especially around food - I don't worry about what other people might be thinking when I take a piece of cake, for example. And, I am more comfortable about leaving the house wearing grungy, workout clothes - I know I look pretty good no matter what I wear, so no agonizing about whether this outfit makes me look thinner or that outfit. As for sex with my husband - woo hoo!! He's also had the surgery and is down 100 lbs. We've been able to reach places we haven't in years. Our relationship is much better physically! -Kate-
   — kateseidel

March 22, 2002
I was always a open outgoing person but loosing 125 pounds REALLY brough this out in me. I would of NEVER wanted my picture in the paper, it appears tuesday. I will post a link too the WLS article. I LOVE the NEW ME:)
   — bob-haller

March 22, 2002
I am 3 months post-op. And I have always been out going anyway. But w/ 40 #'s gone I feel more confident. I speak up in mtgs. I would never speak in public due to the stares. Now I don't care. By July I should be at my weight of 120, I can't imagine how out going I'll be w/ another 40 #' gone!!!!
   — Cindee A.

March 22, 2002
Your question really struck a chord with me! Shortly after surgery, a former friend of mine started to comment continuously about all the people she knew who'd known someone who'd lost a lot of weight, and how that person had become grouchy, mean, the personality had totally changed...Well! I am 10 months post op and down 127 lbs. THings aren't always smooth sailing (hence a recent posting of mine), but I can say with utter certainty that I have become so much more confident since WLS. It's not the surgery itself, it's the TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF and making yourself more of a priority. My comment to my former friend was "Hey, maybe those were 'door-mat' people who felt they had to take a lot of other people's crap because they were overweight," and I reminded her of how lucky she was that I was the same charming person I've always been after losing weight :-) Also, I have been happily married for 22 years. Haven't been thin, well, EVER I suppose! But was briefly at kinda normal weight the last time, maybe 17 years ago. My husband loved me fat, he loved me thinner, and he will continue to love me as I shrink I hope! And I am more crazy about him than ever, and the new confidence I feel only has increased that. Good luck and God bless!
   — Mary Ellen W.

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