Question:
How long before I should have visitors in the hospital?

I am having WLS surgery on Dec. 5th and my boss is having it in early 2004.We are kinda doing the "buddy system" in terms of support and we are going to each other's appointments and stuff.The prob is that she wants to come and see me the day after surgery while I am in the hospital, I don't want to freak her out or scare her because I'm sure that I will not look or feel so hot!!Do you think it is wise for her to see me so early?I could probably use the company.I'm thinking of her feelings.    — natalie J. (posted on November 16, 2003)


November 16, 2003
I had an open RNY on Sept. 25th, I had visitors the same day. I say let your boss come and see you, then she will know what to expect, tell her to keep in mind that everyone is different though. She will be fine with it I am sure of it! You will probably not be very awake though, I had a hard time staying awake for about 3 days....GOTTA LOVE DRUGS!!!! LOL.......Best Wishes to you and your boss on your new journey!
   — Saxbyd

November 16, 2003
She needs to see reality - the good, the bad and the ugly. It is better that she have an idea of what to expect. The first night you will likely be out of it but I had guests the next 2 days and did fine. I was tired after they left, but that's normal. I saw a friend every night since surgery this week. I find that many of the early post-ops like to talk with someone who's already been through it. Just sort of a comfort. Even though they hurt and are sleepy they usually enjoy the visit. I would worry about yourself and left your boss deal with whatever the situation is. She's choosing to go down the same path.
   — zoedogcbr

November 16, 2003
What a great idea on the "Buddy System!" I think that's terrific! For the first 24 hours after your surgery, you're gonna feel pretty rough. I (sort-of) remember being wheeled out of the recovery room into my room where there was a crowd of family and friends. The only thing I clearly remember is grabbing my husbands hand and asking him to please get into bed with me so I could lay down with him. LOL I think I just wanted that 'comfort zone'. He did ask me if I was hurting and they tell me I said '*&^% Yes!'. (I don't remember this but they remind me frequently! LOL) The next few hours are blurry. I remember my mothers voice telling everyone 'We should leave so she can sleep off the anesthesia.' That's about all I remember until the next morning. I would highly recommend telling anyone, other than immediate family, to wait until day 2. They'll have you up by then, at least sitting in a chair, and you'll be much more aware and receptive to their wonderful love and support. Congrats on your surgery!! Open RNY 1/3/03 330/190/175
   — chelle3081

November 16, 2003
Everyone is definitely different. I'm a brand new post-op, just home from the hospital yesterday, and I had so little pain I feel like I had a different surgery from many others who had a lot of pain. I wonder if there could be something different about care or the surgeon that causes the disparity? :o) Anyway, on Thursday I had surgery in the morning, pretty early. Hubby says they were finished by 8:30 am. I slept most of the day, waking enough to say I was queasy several times in Recovery. That was the worst of my experience. I woke up really alert around 5:00 pm and the nurse got me to sit up on the side of the bed. I felt fine, so she got rid of the foley and I went for a walk maybe half an hour later. Later that night I asked for someone to walk with me after my family had left and went twice as far. By day 2 I was really alert and ready for visitors, and nurses were surprised I felt so well. I guess my point is you never know which way your experience will go. I feel so blessed to have had mine go so well. Your boss, if she's done her research, must know this is major surgery and you might be feeling lousy, but wants to show her support. You'll be glad for it, really. You never know, you might have a relatively "easy" time like I did and encourage her, huh?
   — Chyrl W.

November 16, 2003
I had surgery at 7:30 a.m. and had company that evening..So I was told LOL..i dont remember a thing the first day..Next day I welcomed company, I also felt great,seriously I did.. doing good every since..8 weeks post op open RNY. Best of luck on your journey .
   — Kathy S.

November 16, 2003
I don't even remember my family being there the day of surgery. No wait I take it back. I remember squeezing my son's hand for dear life as I was waiting for them to get my morphine pump hooked up. The only visitors I wanted was my hubby. Who I called at 6am the next morning. A couple of ladies from my surgeons support group came to see me on day 2. They were nice..stayed only a short while. Day 3 and 4 I was pretty bored. But hubby was there pretty much the whole time and walked the halls with me. I think the buddy system is great. I am sure she will understand that day 1 is rough. But will be good for her to see you improve over the next couple of days. Best of luck to you. And wishing you a speedy recovery.
   — Charlene W.

November 16, 2003
I had my surgery in mid-morning; my wife stayed with me and then left to bring our daughters home from school to visit with me. I was in relatively little pain, didn't have any drains leaving my body (my surgeon checks for leaks before you leave the OR) and was happy to see my kids. Then, later that evening, my neighbor and my pastor both stopped by. The company was great, no one was freaked out and it helped me to appreciate that I was surrounded by friends and family who were going to support me in my efforts. If my four and five year old daughters weren't spooked seeing my a few hours after surgery, I doubt very much that your boss will be freaked out by seeing you.
   — SteveColarossi

November 16, 2003
I was up walking and outside (on the smoking patio) just a few hours after surgery...I didn't scare any of my visitors the next day. You have a low BMI and if your health isn't awful to begin with (and you have a fair tolerance to pain or are well medicated) you should be just fine having visitors on day two. Besides, seeing someone who's gone thru what she is planning will not dissuade her if she REALLY wants this and if it does, I'd say she's not ready yet anyway. Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

November 16, 2003
If you're having Lap surgery, and you don't have visitors the day after, you probably won't have time for any! LOL My surgery was on Thursday morning, and I went home Saturday at 1:30 PM. My family was with me the day of surgery, but I slept through most of the visit. The next day, a couple of friends visited me in the evening, and it was fine, except I was still sleepy. I felt pretty good though, and put some makeup on that day as I knew my friends were coming. It made me feel better to primp a little. I could have had visitors on the 3rd day, but I was out of there too soon!
   — Carlita

November 17, 2003
i don't remember anything about the first day. i had open RNY. i didn't want anyone to visit because i wanted to be able to get as much rest as i could without interuption. there was plenty of time for me to have visitors at my home, plus they can also help you out if you need it. if you want her to come see you in the hospital i would wait untill your last day there. i have had 2 friends recently have wls and they were really out of it the first 2 days.
   — franbvan

November 17, 2003
Hey Natalie~ Yes, I think that if you all are doing the "buddy system" deal then you all should be there to support one another ALL THE WAY through. It may not be a pretty sight she sees, yet you may breeze through the surgery and show her that it's really not that bad. And if things aren't so "wonderful" then she will also know that it's not a piece of cake either...Don't shut her out, or think it's too soon for her to see you so soon post-op. For the sake of your agreement and the idea that this *IS* major surgery, I think having her there with you so soon after is a good idea. Hugs
   — Marni




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