Question:
Not nervous?? Am I missing something?
I am 26 days til surgery and am so amazingly calm. Is there something wrong with me? Am I missing something? Since I received my surgery date 3 months ago, I have continued my research on the subject, attend regular monthly support group meetings both in person and online and just don't have the nervousness that I have read comes before surgery. — Just M. (posted on September 5, 2003)
September 5, 2003
Is there something wrong with you? NOPE! Some people react to the surgery
different than others. While I was stressed about getting my approval and
then all the goof ups with pre-op testing I was never nervous about
surgery. I had 9 previous surgeries so I was an old pro and 3 of them were
general anesthesias and similar length surgeries. I had 1000% confidence
in my surgeon and the hospital I was having it at. That made a huge
difference for me. I also knew that I could die and decided if I did there
wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. So I made sure that the legal
stuff was taken care of. That also helped, so that at least I knew my
wishes would be carried out in relation to my fir kids and friends and
family. I had two brief moments when I thought about the reality. One was
the morning of surgery and I was in the bathroom with my 3 fur babies. I
looked at them and thought it could be the last time I ever saw them and
cried a few tears and then said I would be fine and got myself out of it.
The other was when I gave my mom a hug as I left for the OR. She was
crying a little and started me too, but I just said I would be fine and I'd
be back soon. A few hours later I was - in pain but alive and kicking!
<p>If you are a person who has reached the point of literally no
choice I think that has a lot to do with finding peace with your decision.
I might not have died that day but at 442 lbs I literally could have
dropped over dead at any time even though I was relatively healthy. In
many respects I was already dying as my life was disappearing as I became
more immobile. My greatest fear is dying in my house and no one knows
about it. At least if I had died during surgery people would have known.
I know it's warped but that's my only fear. Maybe living alone creates
that, I don't know. Now if the dogs knew how to dial 91l that would sure
help. LOL
<p>Keep trying to stay calm and focused and retain the peace you
have. It is so much better to go into surgery with your eyes open,
realistic expectations, a positive attitude and just knowing that somehow
you will come out alive and have the opportunity to enjoy your new healthy
life. Blessings, Chris D.
— zoedogcbr
September 5, 2003
There is nothing wrong with you, it's good that you can keep your mind from
running amuck! I was fairly calm too. The week before surgery I got a
little nervous, but the night before surgery I was pretty calm and even got
some sleep. I was fine until they wheeled me away and I had to say
"see ya soon" (not goodbye!) to my hubby and mom, then I got
teary-eyed for a minute. But the surgical nurse was great in comforting
me, next thing I know I was asleep and it literally felt like 10 seconds
later I was waking up in recovery. Since then it's been smooth sailing!
You'll do fine!
— beeda
September 5, 2003
I'm 5 days and a wake-up from my surgery day. I'm still not very nervous.
I am thinking about whether or not this is the right thing to do for me - I
thought I had decided that long ago, but I think I'm already grieving the
loss of food. I'm sure that will pass, as all grief must be dealt with in
stages. If you're not normally a nervous person, you probably won't get
too nervous now. That's how I am - i really do take things in stride, and
it takes quite a bit to get me upset (unless it's something about my son).
I was much more nervous before he underwent his surgery in May, than I am
now. But he's doing great, down 100 pounds, and I'm feeling pretty
confident that I'll be fine. Best of luck to you also.
— Carlita
September 5, 2003
Hurray for you! Of course you're not missing something - the only reason I
would worry is if someone hadn't done their "homework" and was
going into this uninformed - and that's obviously not you. I personally
was a nervous wreck until they put me to sleep - but that's how I tend to
approach things and it's a bunch of wasted energy! Best of luck to you -
and good for you for being so well-educated and positive! I know you'll do
GREAT!
— [Deactivated Member]
September 5, 2003
I was calm even on the way to surgery. I was so excited to get it done I
could hardly wait. I knew it was the right thing to do and was confident
in my descision. Almost 5 months later I am down 80 some pounds and feel
like a new person! Would do it again in a heart beat, but won't have to!!
— Gail O.
September 5, 2003
I was the same way as Gail O. I actually looked forward to my surgery date.
Not once but twice! I was a revision, had VBG in '95 and RNY in '02. Both
times I was ready to go. I think that some of us are a little more laid
back than others.
<p>
My mom and I have been discussing her having surgery, she is still iffy on
having it done. I thought at first it was cuz she was nervous about the
usual things (complications, up to and including death). But no, it just
turns out she's a pain wimp and won't consider having it done unless it
LAP!
<p>
I am glad you are calm, and hopefully you can carry that with you when you
go into the OR! I find that those with a more positive mental attitude
usually do really well with the recovery and post-op life.
— Ali M
September 5, 2003
I fully understand how you're feeling. My surgery was May 29th of this
year, and I felt like a kid going to Disney World! My sis (who went to the
hospital w/me) kept asking if I were nervous yet. Heck no! I couldn't wait
to get in there. I saw my doctor today, 99 days out from surgery, and I'm
down 56 pounds! Can you believe it. This is a miracle. Good luck to you!
Linda
— lorien
September 5, 2003
Part of it is probably that you're so well-prepared -- good for you! You
might never get nervous. I didn't get nervous until the morning of
surgery, and since it was my first major operation (and first
hospitalization), I felt pretty lucky not to freak out 'til then. ;-) I
was ok by the time we got to the hospital, but the ride there was
annoyingly scary. If you're gonna get nervous, my guess is, it's going to
be a lot closer to your surgery date than where you are now. If it
happens, just remind yourself that you've done all your research, and
remind yourself of all the reasons that persuaded you to do the surgery.
Deep breathing exercises also help (and a mental chorus of "99 Bottles
Of Beer On The Wall" can also kill some time 'til you can mentally
"slap" yourself out of it!).
— Suzy C.
September 5, 2003
Sounds as if you have researched this procedure and are informed to both
pro & con's. Therefor, you are ready mentally. We are all different and
handle situations differently. I also, was never nervous and the thought of
dying was not something I worried about! I knew this was what I needed for
good health and to add quality years to my life. I'm very thankful for a
successful surgery and aftercare. I was positive from the begining and
still am!
lol It's actually very normal to be nervous, but depending on the
person....more and more aren't nervous, just anxious to have it done and
start enjoying life once more! Best of luck. Lap
RNY...2/11/03...250/158/140 Loving/Living Life to the Fullest!
— Hazel S.
September 5, 2003
You know it's funny - I took my friend to the hospital for her surgery a
year and a half ago and she said she wasn't nervous, but I was nervous for
her. I had my surgery 3 weeks ago, my friend took me to the hospital and I
wasn't worried for one moment. However, she was worried for me!
— JoSyrNY
September 5, 2003
Might I make a suggestion? While you are calm, make a list of all of the
reasons you are having this surgery. Then, just in case, you will have a
wonderful calming tool if you do get nervous as your date approaches. I can
remember feeling calm, as well. Then about 2 weeks before surgery, I began
to panic and could not remember WHY I was doing this!! Someone made the
list suggestion to me and it was a wonderful resource when those panicky
nervous feelings hit. If you never need the list, that's great! However,
have it handy just in case... Good luck! Shelley
— Shelley.
September 5, 2003
It is so funny that you say that. I'm 2 weeks post-op and I was not
nervous at all until the night before. A lot of my friends and family kept
asking me if I was nervous and telling me how nervous they would be. I was
wondering if I wasn't taking this serious enough. I chalk it up to the
fact that I researched this for so long and waited so long for it that I
knew I was making the right decision. On the night before I was pretty
nervous when I was giving my love to all my friends and family and even
shed a few tears. On the way to the hospital the next morning I was pretty
anxious. The intake nurse really calmed me down by telling me that I had a
great surgeon and she personally knew many people who had surgery with my
surgeon and were doing great. I was calmed down by that. I told her to
tell my parents the same thing and they felt a little better too. The
funny thing is that I didn't even freak out when they put in the IV and
gave me a Heparin shot at the same time (I HATE needles!!). I wasn't even
nervous getting ready to go in the OR. The anethesiologist gave me
something for nerves but I don't think I really needed it because I was
pretty calm but he said it was something he did for everyone. I haven't
yet found a reason to regret my decision. So, nothing is wrong with you.
Good luck on your surgery and I wish you much sucess.
PS- I also have to admit that using the "Prepare for Surgery, Heal
Faster" book and tape helped as well.
— Morna B.
September 5, 2003
I was totally fine with my decision to have surgery and very calm, too.
Until my husband pulled into the parking garage at the hospital! Then I had
that "Oh, God, what if I die and I don't get to see my kids graduate
form college and get married and have kids of their own and grow old with
my husband" thing happen. (My kids were 19 and 23 at the time!)
Fortunately, that passed pretty quickly, I told my husband how much I
loved him and that if anything happened to me, to be sure to let the boys
know that I loved them, and to stick together. (or something to that
effect) Then my calm returned and I was fine.
— koogy
September 6, 2003
I am one week away from being 4 months post op, and like you, I did a lot
of research, attended monthly support group meetings for the 7 months prior
to my surgery. I was not one bit nervous going in to surgery. As a matter
of fact, on the day of my surgery, my doc told my sister he couldn't
believe how calm I was. He said he was more nervous than I was (just
joking)! I attributed it to the fact that by the time of surgery, I had so
much faith and confidence in my doctor, as well as being prepared, and just
having plain old faith that this was the right thing for me to do. What a
great feeling!!! Afterwards, my doctor said my surgery went flawlessly, and
I have had no problems since. I believe that being prepared, and confident
in my doctor made all the difference. I'm happy for you that you feel the
same way. Keep those positive feelings going!!!
— Ceil G.
September 6, 2003
I wasn't nervous either...even as they wheeled me into the surgery room. I
was also prepared and quite knowlegeable about the surgery...pros and
cons--just like you. I didn't have (or have had) any complications and have
never had one regret. Good luck ..see you on the losing side!!
Robin in Lancaster, CA
Dr Nazarian 7/2/03
390/330/175
— Robin J.
September 6, 2003
HI
I WAS NOT NERVOUSE EITHER AND EVERYONE I TALK TO THAT WAS HAVING THE
SURGERY WAS. THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS I HAD SO MANY MEDICAL
COMPLICATIONS THAT I COULDT WAIT TO HAVE IT DONE. IT WAS WELL WORTH IT MY
SURGERY DATE WAS 050302 I AM DOWN 117LBS AND I FEEL GREAT IT GOES A LITTLE
SLOW IN THE BEGININNG WHEN YOU FIRST COME HOME FROM THE HOSP MY FIRST 6
WEEKS I WAS MOVING SLOW AND WISH I DIDNT HAVE IT DONE BUT THINGS CHANGE AND
YOU FEEL BETTER. I THINK YOUR AGE HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT ALSO I AM 56 MY
NEIGHBOR WAS 35 AND SHE BOUNCE BACK A LOT FASTER THAN I DID. GOOD LUCK
— ROSEMARY A.
September 6, 2003
I am on the same boat as you. I have surgery in 5 days and I am totally
fine with it. Not nervous at all. I just know that this is something that
has to be done. I think that I am so OK with it is because the whole
process was just so long for me. I started this in July of 2002 and I am
just now about to have surgery on 9/12. This ic not a impulsive descision
for me. It was well resarched and I feel at peace with what I have to do.
Good for you. Keep up the positive attitude.
— Teekay80
September 8, 2003
I totally understand. I wasn't nervous at all either. All my friends and
family said, "Oh you will be once the time comes". Well, I
wasn't. I just KNEW that this was the right decision and I was ready to
accept whatever consequences I had to face. In fact, I went to the
hospital by myself and told family to come later, shortly before surgery
because they were so nervous, I didn't want to be around that energy. I
wanted to maintain my calm and didn't want to have to be calming others.
Luckily, I have had no complications whatsoever and I've had very smooth
sailing at 4 months post-op. I think that attitude has a great deal to do
with how you recover. Good luck to you!
— [Deactivated Member]
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