Question:
This is for anyone who is going through this alone.
I am 6 wks post op, and down 42#. I worked very hard to get this surgery, and know health-wise it was the best thing for me. My problems are all mental at this point. I am alone, lonely, and depressed (on high doses of anti-depressants). The only source of comfort in my life pre-op was eating... now that's gone, and I feel empty. I have few friends, no family, and sometimes wonder if I was better off with comfort food than with nothing at all!!! I'm nearly 35 years old, and have nothing to look forward to! I'm hoping for some insight or suggestions. — Michelle B. (posted on April 7, 2002)
April 7, 2002
Congradulations on your weight loss! Its time for you to get out of the
house. Are you attending a wls support group? Join one in your area as soon
as possible. They will be able to help you with your desire to return to
comfort food.[I'm battling the same issue]. Give it a shot. It can't hurt.
Best Wishes
— Sherry S.
April 7, 2002
Michelle, you don't say whether or not you attend support group meetings.
If you don't, this would be a great place to meet people who share similar
experiences with WLS, depression, etc. You also are very likely to make new
friends. I strongly urge you to find the closest support group and attend
the next meeting. Many changes are occuring with your body right now and
it is easy to get depressed. But, as you continue to lose weight you will
regain confidence and feel more outgoing and you will also become more
active. Exercise also can help with depression. Hang in there girl, it
will get better.
— Susan M.
April 7, 2002
I do attend support group meetings, but am traveling for work at present...
I am looking for a support group here where I am.
— Michelle B.
April 7, 2002
Hi Michelle. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. If it helps at all,
I do think the feelings you're going through are pretty normal. We have
some things in common. We're the same age, and I live in Tallahassee --
just a couple of hours from you. I also have a long history with
depression. I've already told myself that I need to brace myself for having
a hard time post-op. With my brain chemistry, there's just no way that I'll
be able to go through the stresses from this surgery without relapsing into
depression. I know in advance that there will be a period of weeks or even
months when I'll likely regret having the surgery. I'm hoping that just the
expectation of that experience will help me to get through it. I'm also
planning on working with a therapist throughout. Do you have some
professional support? Someone to talk to? You've lost one of your main
coping mechanisms during the very time that you're going through a ton of
physical and emotional stresses -- a good therapist might be able to help
you find some different ways to cope. One last thing --I know you said that
you have nothing to look forward to, but that's the depression talking. It
plays tricks on your brain and distorts the way you see yourself and your
future. I hope you'll give yourself some time and just trust that this WILL
get better. I would bet a lot of money that you'll feel completely
differently about your life by this time next year. Take care, Michelle,
and write to me if you ever want to talk.
— Tally
April 7, 2002
Hi Michelle, Thanks so much for your post. I'm still pre-op (haven't even
had my surgical consult yet) I see the surgeon for the 1st time 2 weeks
after my 40th birthday. I'm thinking of this in terms of a birthday
present to myself. I've heard alot on this website about the post-op
depression and realize it's going to hit me VERY hard because I'm in a
similar situation to you. I have NO friends and few family, I've been
isolating myself alot the last few years (not entirely due to my weight but
mostly). Do you remember pre-op ever thinking to yourself that if only I
weighed less I'd try to do this or that? Well now is the time to try
something you always promised you'd do if you were thinner. Start small
and work your way up to something very challenging either physically
challenging or emotionally challenging. Prove to yourself that you are
worth all the risk and effort you made to have this surgery, but make sure
you realize anything you do you are doing for yourself and not to win
friends or influence people. You are a very valuable human being!!!
Remember God Don't Make No Junk and if you were worthy of Jesus dying on
the cross so that you would have everlasting life then you must be worthy
of happiness. Sorry I didn't want to get preachy it just came out. My
point is don't sell yourself short, your having a very hard time now
learning how to cope with out your "drug" of choice (food) but
the simple fact that you reached out to us on the WLS support group for
help and advice proves you will survive. Just hang on a little longer and
have faith in yourself. I do!! Good luck and God Bless, Elva
— Elva C.
April 7, 2002
Michelle... I don't have an answer for you. I just wanted to add my
thoughts of support. I'm in the early stages of booking my surgery. One of
my largest obstacles in finding thinking about before and after care
support. This web site has really helped me.
The find peers link at the top of the pages is the best. There are a lot
in Florida ( I'm in Canada and there isn't many) Click on the state and
city where you are and you'll find lots. Good luck !!!
— Tammy S.
April 7, 2002
Michelle, this is the time in your life to make all kinds of changes. Not
just your eating habits. I to used to be a person that had few friends,
and didn't do much with my time once I came home from work. But I knew
having this surgery would only partially help my mental state ( My self
esteem). What do you enjoy doing? Join a class at the local college
around you. Join a bowling league this summer. This past fall I joined a
bowling league and I have made two great friends, and from those two
friends I made more friends. Now my time is so busy I sometimes have to
hide from people. You are doing great with your weight loss. Im 6 weeks
and Im down 36.5 pounds. If you ever need to chat just email me.
— Diane Rhoads
April 8, 2002
Also, you might look for a local support group for others who have had this
surgery. I tried that and have met some wonderful people. You already
have something in common! Good luck to you!
— Shona M.
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