Question:
Anyone ever have your family go totally against your decision to have the surgery?
I mentioned having the surgery before, but never really started the process. Everyone was against my decision. Even my mom, whom I just recently lost. Now that I've lost her, and part of the reason that she is no longer with us is because of weight issues, I thought for sure that my husbands opinion about this would change. Now I'm even more into finding out information and will be having the first step done, the physical and blood work. Right after my Mom passed he said he would be ok with it, but that he loved me no matter what and that I had to promise that I was doing it for health reasons. DUH!!! Now that I'm actually taking steps to make it happen, he's totally against it again. Help? How can I make him see that this is safe and probably in my best interest? — Lori S. (posted on February 20, 2002)
February 20, 2002
I wanted to have it done 9 years ago, but my husband refused to
support me. Then it came up again last Nov. and I just started
talking about it to him. I was having a lot of problems with
my diabetes, and at my last appt with my diabetes Dr., I asked him
what he thought about the surgery, and he told me it would save my
feet and probably my life. I alto talked to my PC Dr. and he was
also supportive. I also checked with the insurance company and found out
how much would be covered if I could prove it was medically necessary
(100%) and then I took all this info to my husband and asked him to come
to my consultation with the WLS surgeon. He came (I was so nervous)
and after that he was supportive. I found that if I left all my emotions
out of it and gave him some well researched answers, it was much
more effective. Good luck and God bless.
— Lisa L.
February 20, 2002
Take him to a support group meeting, socialize with the happy healthy post
ops, hear there stories. Take one to dinner, see how they eat small amounts
of good food. This should help to change his mind. Reassure you LOVE him,
he might be afraid you will find someone else after loosing the weight. Lts
of affection can help that...
— bob-haller
February 20, 2002
I had Open RNY Nov. 12, 2001 and my advice is to take him with you you to
your initial consultation. This was the eye opener for my hubby, he got to
ask all the questions he wanted and got the facts. My surgeon put him at
ease on most topics. He was 100% supportive of me after that but was scared
the same. (After surgery he was also a wonderful nurse as well as my 2
sons)
Now my other family was a different story, my parents, sisters, and in-laws
were totally against it (it didn't matter what they thought anyway as long
as I had my hubby's support) but I grant you every one of them showed up
the day of surgery:) They still to this day gripe about me having it done
but I am content(and minus 82 lbs) and I have to live with my lifestyle not
them. BUT it is all out of love and concern and I know that.
— Lynda T.
June 14, 2003
My entire family laughed, and laughed, and laughed...until they realized I
was really serious I was going to have this operation, no matter what any
one of them thought of my decision. I had my mind made up and that was
final. After thay wiped the tears from their eyes from laughing so hard
(and that is the truth,) they thought maybe I was mad call in the man in
white coats to gather her up. I sttod my ground. You must do this for
yourself. That is the problem with fat people we always put other people
before ourselves. We are givers, we truly are, we don't know how to say
no, and then we eat our selves to death....we don't see it happening at the
time but it sure is something we all have in common. The time is now.
There are too many successes to ignore. I have lost 150lbs. I wore a size
26 pants and now I wear a size 4 pants. If I could I would put it up in
sky writing for the world to know Imagine a size 4 pants.........Not only
can I cross my leggs but I wear a size 4 petite. Oh my God, tell your
family to kiss your Ass. Go for it, it is the best thing I ever did for
myself, now ask me how I feel, wonderful, my blood test are not only
good....they are PERFECT. I recently got a life insurance policy and they
gave me a cheaper policy because my blood test were the best they have ever
seen for a woman my age. I am 59 and they said I had the blood test of a
42yr old and lowered my monthly bills. Good Luck to you. Email any time
with any questions you have at all. I only speak the truth. Regards Nilvia
like Sylvia
— Nilvia R.
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