Question:
One of the questions is 'Tell us what caused you to be overweight.'
— [Anonymous] (posted on September 12, 2001)
September 12, 2001
From the time I was very little I learned that food is a way to cope with
your problems. And it's also the way you celebrate everything. And it's
also what you do when you're bored. I see a problem developing :P When my
parents started going through a divorce when I was in the 3rd grade, I
started putting on a lot of weight for the first time, and I've been
creeping up ever since (5'5", and 260 now). Now my main problem is
binge eating. I really want to have a DS, I just can't figure out how to
afford it yet.
— [Deactivated Member]
September 13, 2001
Or, maybe what caused it is a complex set of things that starts with our
genetics. Maybe we have been taught that we chose to be fat so we assume
that we eat too much or innapropriately. Maybe we are very similar to
skinny people except that our bodies have been set differently. Maybe the
things that cause us to be obese are completely beyond our control. Scary
thought for a lot of people, but that's what I believe.
— kcanges
September 13, 2001
I don't know what started it, but I do know that every single picture of me
from babyhood on shows me with rolls and a double chin. Watching my
grandmother, who also raised me, with other children she's babysat and
family members, I saw and heard her berate them for not eating the meals
put out for them, or not finishing those meals. I know was punished if I
didn't eat what was put on my plate and I can remember countless times
having to sit at the table for hours gagging down a meal that I detested.
I finally learned the trick of taking bites of food and swallowing them
down with a gulp of milk or other liquid to get food down like a pill so I
didn't have to chew. I was left with a horrible bloated feeling after the
meal both for the amount forced on me the the crazy amount of liquids I had
to gag everything down with. This, with my 20/20 hindsight, I know to be
dangerous and abusive. <p> Food and meals became a
"control" issue and a source of punishement, fear, and
ultimately, comfort. I resorted to sneaking food, binging, and purging
later in life. I lived with horrendous guilt and sadness over both my lack
of control and obsessive control at the same time. <p> I live in
fear even now as the daily struggle to "control" is in my
thoughts only now I can't binge, and I'm too smart to purge and possible
damage my tummy. I get councelling for bulimia and I take one day at a
time.....it's going to be a long road. I worry about my kids, but I don't
force them as I once was.....my oldest daughter is at the high end of
acceptable weight for her age and height and this worries me as I see some
of the same issues of satiety with her...the inability to say no to sweets
or junk even when full. Makes me wonder if somehow she has been hurt
unknowingly by seeing me, OR if this does have a certain degree of genes.
All I can give her is my loving support and be grateful for not continuing
the cycle of abuse that I lived with.
— Jo C.
September 13, 2001
Well, lets see where do I begin? Being a chubby kid with a low self esteem,
caused me to buckle under peer pressure and go through years of crash
diets. That messed up my metabolism. Then it was the diet pills and thyroid
pills that screwed me up. Then after that was when the severe depression
screwed me up - and the medicine they put you on is only for skinny people
who DONT eat - because that makes you eat more. And the doctors argue that
people who are depressed don't eat. Yeah! Right. So I went for years on
antideppressants that increased my appetite until I finally refused to take
them because they made me eat more. Then I got PCOS which makes it much
harder to get the weight off. Did genetics play a role. Most certainly. In
every single way. But that sounds like a trick question to me. When they
ask you why you became overweight do they want to hear "because I'm
eating too much"? Or do they want to hear" I don't know, I just
woke up that way one day"?
— [Anonymous]
September 13, 2001
Being from Ireland food is the center of everything. Anyone who has been
there or has relatives there knows that. When I was younger I wasn't
allowed leave the table until everything was gone off my plate, even if
that meant sitting there till way past my bedtime. And then of course
anytime I was hurt or got a scratch or scrape, it was here have an
ice-cream, brownie, piece of cake, cookie, etc. etc. etc. And so it began,
eventually food was becoming somehting of comfort. They condition you that
anytime you feel bad physically you should eat something good, and then it
turns into anytime you feel emotionally bad you should also eat. And you do
and keep on eating... and here you are... of couse there is a little
genetics in there... for instance my brother, we eat exactly the same
amounts, the same types of food and we both tend to eat for comfort, and
he's a skinny little sucker... grrr! :)
But in all honesty... if I really knew what CAUSED me to be overweight,
don't you think I would have stopped it long ago? Psychologists with all
their degrees and ribbons, you think they would know better... I still
can't help but think that profession CAN BE a load of crap. I mean I feel
just as good telling my friends about my problems and listening to thier
advice, people who love me and care about me, than some stranger I'm paying
who will just refute with the "well, what do YOU think you should
do?" urgh... it's just frustrating... However having said that, I did
a lot of therapy with a private social worker and she was wonderful,
probably because she became a friend... but the people who do these exams,
can they really truly know anything about you after some generic tests and
a few personal questions... I think not...
— [Anonymous]
September 13, 2001
Thank you everyone who took the time to answer me. A couple of you
expressed my thoughts exactly but you know that low self esteem issue
prevented me from saying it out loud.
I saw the surgeon today and since I had taken Phen-fen, he wants me to have
an electro-cardiogram, and a pulminary function test. Now I have to wait
for them to call me with appointments for those doctors. Again thanks for
the help.
— [Anonymous]
October 8, 2001
— Jeanese M.
October 8, 2001
I have to say that I think you are downplaying the genetic component. I
take it personally when people say that obese people need to get off their
butts. I worked out a lot when my bmi was over 40 and I knew how to put a
fork down too. I think that we've been brainwashed to believe that we are
lazy pigs, as these statements imply, but I don't for a second think that
it's true. And, I think by looking at your profile Jeanesse, that you have
had a weight problem that extends far beyond those problems too. Are you
sure the disease isn't called Weight Watchers and Fad diets?
— kcanges
October 11, 2001
I agree with the heredity. I can see the same obsession with food in one of
my daughters. (age 7-that looks just like me.) While my other daughter (age
8-that looks like her "average" size father) eats like a bird.
Plus, I know it is a comfort thing for me. I didn't get the approval from
my peers when I was young and I turned to food to make me fill better.
— Rita D.
February 16, 2002
Wow!!! I am so happy I came across this!! I was searching for the words to
describe how I thought I ended up MO and here they are! Thanks so much AMOS
buddies! You all are lifesavers!!!!!
— NicoleG
February 26, 2002
Many things. I could blame it on boredom, depression, anger, sadness, etc.
All of these emotions evoke a response. My response was to medicate any
pain I had with food. Food was always there for me, it never judged me, it
was my friend that never questioned me, it was just there for me... it's so
terrible that food became a personality, but it did. Taste buds can be an
enemy... perhaps in my case and maybe in others, the satiety factor is
genetic.... I know plenty of people who had emotional or family problems,
but food never became their comfort.. their bodys' mechanism for food
cravings just never set in. So, why did it in me? Good question. Do I have
an answer? Absolutely not. If I did, I might have found a way to not be fat
earlier. So, here I am, feeling sad that I'm overweight, and knowing there
are people out there who think I'm a lazy, weak willed person. Do I care
what they think? Of course I do. No one wants to be disliked or singled out
as "defective". Next question?
— Glenda L.
August 3, 2002
When I was a child in the 50's, I was "pressured" to join the
"clean plate club". I was reminded to clean my plate because
there were children starving in......China, Asia, Africa, etc.. You cleaned
your plate (even if you didn't want anymore) in order to please your
parents. I also think that playing 'Red light / Green light' with Conductor
Bob (I think that was his name) also pushed us to over-do on milk.
— StarWish624
June 25, 2003
Ha-ha-ha-ha! What a trick question!
Listen, I grew up in a household full of drug abuse, alcoholism, and
smoking, and I could have picked up any of those habits, but I chose not
to. That's the willpower portion.
Why doesn't it apply to food?
Because you can't chose to not eat. You have to eat to live, and you have
no control what you eat until you hit your teens - and by then, your eating
habits have been shaped.
When I was in treatment, another food addict put it best 'For alcoholics
and drug addicts and smokers, when they decide to quit, their bodies can
live without that stuff for the rest of their lives. But we HAVE to put
our head in the lion's mouth every day, several times a day, and expect not
to get slashed or bitten. We can't quit our drug cold turkey - and if we
try, it's called anorexia.'
Besides being genetically geared toward the other three vices (I'm the only
one of my cousins over 18 who isn't an alcoholic), I'm also genetically
geared toward obesity. I have what my mother calls 'The Campbell Gut',
which she had (before WLS), my brother has, my great-grandmother has, my
uncle has, and numerous cousins have - you can tell we're related in family
pics by this gut (hee-hee).
While talking to my cousin, she mentioned having meals at my house when we
were younger, and she could not stand the fact my mother made her clean her
plate, which I thought was normal (logical, right?). My mother apologized
deeply to her, and explained it was because of her own obesity and food
issues that made her do such things. My cousin, by the way, is a model and
film-maker, and has a perfect athletic body.
Anyway, be honest answering. I had the same question asked by my
therapist, and I told her I had always been overweight - my first conscious
effort of going on a diet was when I was 9 because I was the largest girl
in ballet class. I did not suddenly 'gain' all this weight, it's been
constant, even with all th diets I've been on.
That's what sticks in my craw - these questionaires assume something
happened in our lives to make us suddenly turn into binging, lazy
bastitches after decades of perfect eating and exercise. They don't seem
to realize the majority of us were born this way, that we've always been
like this, that no amount of dieting and exercise has helped us. I am 25
years old! I have been overweight my entire life! What is considered my
'base weight' when I was 12 at the time of my adult ideal weight? The
closest thing I had to perfect eating and exercise was when I was in
treatment for food addiction at 18 and treated like a convict about to go
on a murderous rampage if I even sniffed a person who had a chocolate bar
three days ago!
Okay, rant over. ^_^
— Jill S.
August 16, 2003
I was put on skim milk when I was six months old. At six years, my
pediatrician told my mother to put me on 600 calories a day, and he didn't
care if it was all ice cream! Obviously, he knew nothing about nutrition
and neither did my Mom. I never saw a fresh vegetable in my house, except
for salad makings (iceberg lettuce-no nutrition). In the 60's, like now,
convenience foods were all the rage (ie. Hamburger Helper). We ate a lot
of canned vegetables, and a few frozen ones. Mom wasn't the greatest cook
at that time, but a superb baker. I couldn't have fruit, however, because
it had sugar in it. (Go figure...) I love my Mom, and certainly don't
hold any of this against her, as she was a victim of bad advice. For
instance, when I was in third grade, that same pediatrician put me on
amphetamines! Imagine flying in the morning and crashing and crying every
afternoon at school. As if being fat wasn't bad enough! From as far back
as I can remember, I was taunted in and out of school: "Ellen, Ellen,
watermelon; Ellen Ohnemus, hippopotamus"- talk about an emotional
component! All of this time, I was not encouraged to excercise. In school,
I was a klutz, and was ridiculed in gym class. (Yeah, that made me want to
do active/athletic stuff...) When I was ten, my mother brought me to TOPS
(Take Off Pounds Sensibly)- I don't recall losing any significant amount of
weight there.
I could on and on recounting over forty years of dieting. I tried
"Weight Watchers", "Atkins", "Jenny Craig",
"Diet Workshop", the "Cabbage Soup Diet", the
"Grapefruit Diet", fasting, and several more. (Can you say yo-yo
dieting?) We all know yo-yo dieting reduces your metabolism, only causing
you to gain more when you are sick of the deprivation and go back to your
original (poor) way of eating.
Genetics, bad nutrition, yo-yo dieting, emotional components, and lack of
activity all figured into my weight problem. In adulthood, I still have
the weight problem. I have forgiven the ignorance of others. I don't much
care if I am a klutz anymore, I like being active, but I am so heavy now
that I have a hard time moving. I have learned about nutrition, but still
find I am an emotional eater.
I am scheduled for a band surgery in a few weeks, and am looking forward to
this tool to give me a boost, so I can get active, and put my nutritional
knowledge to use. I will be dealing with my emotional eating and
behavioral issues as part of the program for which I am very grateful.
— Ellen O.
February 26, 2004
I actually laughed when I was asked that question and simply said "I
love food!". Good luck!
— Sandy M.
February 26, 2004
"DUH" is right!! This is an old thread and I can't think of
anything to add to it other than what's already been said. But I do wanna
say that I love the assumption that everyone who is thin is healthy,
robust, conscientious, exercising, weight watching saint and anyone who is
fat is a lazy, compulsive, selfish oaf who has never once tried a diet or
exercise. The vast majority of those MO have been on so many diets it
would make all those heads of all those thin people literally REEL!! I've
done things that most people I know wouldn't do for a day. Wanna know what
causes MO people to be that way? CONSTANT DIETING!!
— Joyce C.
February 27, 2004
One of the fun things about a thread as old as this one is reading the
profiles of people who answered it (this one goes back to 2001). Although
some profiles weren't kept up (some, you can't even tell if they went ahead
and had the surgery), some were kept up for awhile, and some were kept up
to goal or beyond. I found one in this thread from somebody going through
"bounceback" from eating sugar (like me right now!), who got rid
of her bounceback and is "back on track."<P>Let's keep up
our profiles ... there's nothing more reassuring than seeing people who are
still doing well several years post-op!
— Suzy C.
March 8, 2004
While listing diets I've been on I remember my dad setting me and my sister
against each other in a "diet war", the prize being a new top.
Well as I look back I realize that since my sister was still living at home
she was at most a High School senior and I was at most in 6th grade!!! I
got no support - I was this young kid being made to lose weight in a house
that was still full of cookies and ice cream. Food was my comfort.
— Shrinking M.
September 20, 2004
I dont know where to begin! First of all, I couldn't say what caused me to
be overweight cause I have been that way all of my life...(as far back as I
can remember. The only pics that I have of myself that I was
"normal" like everyone else was when I was in like pre-school and
kindergarten. Then when I was in sixth grade, and I still remember this
like it was yesterday, this mean girl named Sarah Farris told me that I was
fat and that I would be fat for life. And that I should just accept it
because there was nothing that I would ever be able to do about it. That
really shook my whole world. I remember when I was in 5th and 6th grade and
the PE teachers weighed all the kids in elementary school, one at a time
out in the hallway. I remember that one of the PE teachers was weighing me
and then she called the other PE teacher out into the hall just to talk to
her about how much I weighed! Right in front of me. Then, there was one
time when I was a jr in high school and this girl that I had never seen
before in my life asked me if I was pregnant! How RUDE! I mean of course,
maybe I did look pregnant but that didnt make it hurt any less. How many
times since then have I been asked, Oh, Ms. Guevara, when are you due?? Oh
My GOD! I have said, so many times, quickly thereafter, of course in self
defense I guess" Oh Im not pregnant, I'm just fat, but of course who
would expect you to know..." And then they get embarrased just like
me... I dont like to do that, but it really hurts.
Anyway Im getting off of the subject. Years of YO-YO dieting, and being
conditioned to eat a certain way when I was younger, being genetically
predisposed to obesity, and PCOS. I have not been officially diagnosed, but
I am CERTAIN that I have it. Yep that's me, DR MARISA.. I want to thank you
guys for the descriptive answers because when I read most of them, I felt
like I was reading my own life. Thanks for reading.
— enochsbiggestfan
Click Here to Return