another day in paradise..

Aug 11, 2011

well today is the 11th of august and i go to see the RNP & NUT on the 15th - monday and hopefully will get some advice.  The last couple of days i have not been feeling myself in that emotionally i seem to be going through some issues.  well this mornign i threw myself a pity party and after about 20 minutes i seemed to be better.  amazing how tears and some inward thinking makes one want to smarten up, or rather want to pick oneself up and get back on track again. 

i think and hopefully will hear something about this from Viviane that what I am experiencing are some of the natural changes due to the weight loss.  i have been on anti-depressants for sometime now and i think they may need to be dialed down a notch now.  also my high blood pressure meds have not been adjusted and every now and then i am feeling light headed and getting nose bleeds which i have not had in a long time.  i have also stopped using my cpap machine.  i keep asking my husband if i am snoring and he says not much at all.  i do have sleep apnea and should follow up with this however i do know my settings are probably too high.  i find that after awhile with the mask on i feel all gassy, my mouth is dry and i cannot breath because it seems like it is too much air being forced in.I will have to see what Viv will have to say.

wrt meals. i seem to be afraid to want to eat and the things i want to eat  - well who knows. i do have at least 1 protein shake a day (almost 40 g of protein per shake) usually for breakfast.  i then have something like an egg -usually scrambled for lunch with tomato slices.  then i have SF jello or pudding for snacks or even cheese strings (1). sometimes it is a popscicle. i never liked them all that much however they are delish now. then for dinner well i have been trying the michelina meals which i cannot finish. where i am running into problems is the after dinner time. i try to have fruit like watermelon chunks or cheese string but i think i need to reassess what i am eating.  i ahve been trying and have liked small amounts of salads with low fat and lo cal dressing like italien.  usually shredded lettuce, small bits of cheese and perhaps a slice of tomato.  i do have some soup on occassion but other than that i am afraid to try other things.  i did try some roasted chicken and some lentil salad however immediately i ended up with pains in my stomach and then ended up vomitting like crazy and felt horrible for the rest of the night.  so that is probably why i am afraid to move one. 

i just need to pull my big girl panties up and get on with it i guess.  

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