Have I lost control?

May 28, 2011

Well, I was doing so good. I was holding at 180 lbs (down from 360 or so at surgery time in Aug 08), then I hurt my back in September of 2010. I herniated a disk at my L4-L5 with a partially herniated disk at L3-L4. Pain, Pain, PAIN, PAIN! They started me on Nucynta 100 mg every 4 hours with Flexeril every 6-8 hours. When that stopped working for the pain, they started me on Percocet 10/325 2 tabs Q4 hrs, Flexeril 1tab Q6-8 hours. Well, that was in Sept....it's now May and I just got in to see a REAL pain specialist and he put me on MS Contin 60mg 1 tab Q8, Valium 10mg 1 tab Q8, Hydrocodone 10/325 for breakthru pain. I used to work as a CNA at at local hospital, so I burned tracks down the hallways everynight.....now.......NOTHING! I can't hardly stand, walk, sit. I am so depressed. So much so, it seems like it would be better without me here. I looked good at 180, size 10. Well, that is gone now too! I am back up to 235!!! I don't eat much more than I did before. MOST of my snacks are make with sugarfree(splenda) and low to no calories. I try to keep my fat calories and FAT period, LOW. What can I do? My depression is just getting deeper and deeper. I need some ideas to get my tool working my way again. Maybe that will give my something to help bring me out of my depression! HELP ME PLEASE! I am past desperate. I can't exercise much right now because of my back but when I can, you better believe I will be hitting it hot and heavy when I get it fixed!

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