Half the woman I was... and mental health stuff

Oct 11, 2012

So, I officially weight less than I've lost. I'm less than the half the woman I was sixteen months ago. Boggles the mind. Truly.

Been jumping between 185.8 and 187 for the past week, expected, not too worried about it. Whatever happens, happens. I've had a really stressful month. As my counselor explained it... food was the problem, obviously. But it was also a solution to another problem. My stress, anxiety and probably a little depression has kicked in a bit. The past month has been tough, but the past two weeks, I really started to feel it. I had a pretty big melt down last week (my poor husband, really, he's a saint).

I get my counselor's whole "feel it and get past it" and all that, but the reality is that I wasn't really functioning at work or at home. I just didn't care, total apathy for pretty much everything and everyone around me. I didn't even realize it was happening until I hit a breaking point.

Anyway, so the first time in my life, I'm on antidepressants. Lexapro, just 5mg to see how that works. So far, it's just making me a little jittery, but I hear that will subside so I'm trying to wait it out. I'll go back in a month to see how I am.

Yes, this is over-sharing, but I talk about mental health a lot. I think that it's the most overlooked problem with bariatric surgeries. I didn't get to 375 because I was hungry. I got there because of issues. I have to figure those issues out, but I also have to be functional while doing it. I'm not sure if the two can go hand-in-hand, but I feel confident we'll figure out a way. I just need to be normal (whatever that is).

Anyway, that's the update. I'm still feeling like crap, but she said it can take a week to three weeks for it to really take effect so I'm just kid of riding it out at this point.

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