The slow march to 199...

Aug 03, 2012

I woke up this morning to 205. The scale is moving again. Yay. But man, it seems like I'll never reach 199. I have such mixed feelings today. I've lost 170 pounds. That's just 6 more until I hit "onederland" and 11 more until I weigh less than my husband. I STILL get on the scale just to see the first number be a '2' so the idea that one day within the next couple of months, I could step on there and see a '1' is just.... weird. It's part elation, but some trepidation as well. I mean, that's significant. I think the last time I was that size was probably... MAYBE... middle school.

I'm totally terrified of regain. I find out at least once a week that someone I know had weight loss surgery before I met them and see them now and think I don't want to be that statistic. I really want to make this a life long journey and I want to keep the weight off. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to... making true food and lifestyle changes... going to therapy... excercising (although not like I should, kind of a in funk there).

Today, though... today I am forgiving myself. I am not going to be perfect all the time. I'm not always going to eat 100% on plan. I'm going to take breaks with exercise. I'm going to give myself space from the insane pace I've kept up. I've lost ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY pounds. It's okay to be tired of dealing with it all. It's okay to be annoyed with the process. It's okay if the scale stops moving (and it does, it's a total stair step thing).

Today, I'm going to roll with it and just accept that I'm not perfect. I'm going to do everything I can to be successful and I'm going to keep working on myself.

And when I hit 199, I'm going to throw the biggest internal party you've ever seen. Expect it because it's coming. LOL

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