Surgery moved

Oct 16, 2011

So Lana called from the WMC in Ottawa to move my surgery date UP a week!!!!!

I am now having surgery on October 20, 2011. That will be my new birthday! I always wanted to be a Libra!!
(ok that's not true. I always thought I should be a Gemini because I am always of two minds about everything and have difficulty making decisions. Or maybe that *is* Libra with the whole balancing and weighing each side...hmmm....something to think about)
See?

Anyways....I am super excited....to be finished OPTIFAST!!! OMG that stuff is so friggin gross. It doesn't matter what you add to it, it still tastes like something that you wouldn't normally drink if you had the choice.

I took the kids out yesterday and I had promised them lunch at the food court. This is a BIG treat for them as we never eat out. So they picked New York Fries....which is fine because I don't even like fries so I thought I could handle it.

WRONG!!!!

Walking through the food court with all the smells and the food from the other places that I *DO* like was like being in one of those crazy dreams where everything around you just turns into a monster and is trying to attack you!! I literally felt a bit dizzy!!! It was horrible.

And the thing I have noticed the most while on Optifast, is the behaviour of picking. I don't know what its actually called, but just grabbing a fry off the edge of my daughter's bowl....even though I don't really like them! Or while baking, to taste test something and just pop it into your mouth mindlessly. While making lunches, to grab a grape or two while putting them into a container, cutting off an extra piece of cheese to pop into my mouth....all of those behaviours while I am not even hungry! How many extra calories have I consumed this way??? All those times when my "diets" didn't work, I wonder if some of it was this kind of self-sabotage? I first noticed it when I was helping Kira make roasted pumpkin seeds and when they were done, I popped one into my mouth to 'taste' it....I immediately realized what I had done and was about to spit it out and thought....well...nobody saw me so does it really matter?
Yes!!! It does dammit!!
So I spit it out.
Weird how our brains work, isn't it?

I guess I can thank Optifast for that at least.

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