Repost from RNY board on my strange week of compliments

May 06, 2011

WARNING! Long post proceed with caution but only if you have some time to spare - It seems to be my week for compliments (not all physical) and I am actually getting used to finally accepting most of them gracefully without feeling totally awkward.

Odd and awkward! - A man I have never met before approached me in a hotel where I was scheduled to speak and said, "Oh my gosh I almost didn't recognize you!  You have changed so much...you've lost a lot of weight.  You look wonderful."  I responded with a "Yes that is true thank you," along with a slightly puzzled look because I do not know him.  Then he says "Oh I'm sorry I have been watching your webcasts online and I feel like I know you."  He then proceeds to introduce himself and I try to make a quick get away. ;-)

Good but awkward! - Last night I went out for a celebratory dinner with a panel of individuals I have been working with for about 9 months.  One on of the panel members also happens to be a good friend.  During an evening of toasting the work we accomplished together she stands up to say how proud she is of me and how I am an inspiration.  She then announces that I have lost the equivalent of a whole person and completed a few 5Ks and a 10K.  The weight loss is not a secret as they all have been with me once a month for the last 9 months but I am not sure I wanted a public toast in a restaurant.  She has been very supportive of me and she is terribly proud of me though so I know it came from a place of love.

Good! - not weight related! :-)  - I finished working with a panel today and a panel member said he had something to say.  He said he felt like we accomplished amazing things together but that he felt we owed that to one person - me. He said he thought I was miraculous. Then they all cheered.  That was nice.

Funny! - Another panel member from the group above said to me afterwards, "I just have to tell you that I have never met anyone like you."  I laughed and said I am not sure that is a good thing does that mean you find me to be peculiar?  She said, "No, no, no I meant your really amazing."

All in all good things but I certainly believe I receive a lot more attention from everyone now that I am thinner.  I struggle with how to respond to the attention.  I also often feel embarrassed by the attention and occassionally sad because I recognize that in part my value is more recognized now because of my appearance.  Then, I wonder is it because of my appearance or am I projecting more confidence because of my appearance and the confidence is what really makes a difference?  I do think I am more open to people and interactions than previously. Things to think about.

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