mylou
50 lbs gone forever, reality check
Jun 25, 2010
Today I finally got under the 50 lbs mark and I realized I haven't been loosing my weight gracefully. I have been so obsessed with the scale and wanting to see losses that I have lost sight of why I wanted the surgery in the first place. Reading my past blog posts (even the one 2 days ago) is upsetting because I haven't been looking at the big picture. I don't know why it has just occurred to me that I seriously need to change my attitude. I decided to ask my neighbor (who has been my saving grace through out this journey) to take my progress pictures. It's funny because on the day of surgery when I was leaving my kids in her care for the next 2 days she insisted I let her take my "before surgery" pictures. I absolutely did not want to do it. She kept presisting, saying that I would be glad to have them one day. Well today is that day. I can finally appreciate the changes I have gone thru in the last 3 and a half months. I don't know where my head has been. I've been down on myself for not loosing fast enough or not receiving compliments from others, but what I really need to be focused on is how good I feel and how much healthier I am. Those are the reasons I got the surgery... to feel better, I was always feeling like crap and I needed to be healthier. I did not have the surgery for any other reason and today I feel 100 times better than when I was 288 and I know I am healthier too. So, I decided to help get things in perspective my first step would be to take some more freaking pictures and show myself the improvements I have made. And I see it, finally. Physical changes are not the reason I had the surgery but it is true that seeing the changes helps in catching my head up with what my body is really doing...50 lbs is nothing to sneeze at, it is GREAT! My body is going thru so many changes I honestly don't know what I've been complaining about... I need to remember how amazing my body is and that I can never neglect it or abuse it with food again. Just wanted to get this out there. Now I feel better.
