It begins

Jul 17, 2015

So, I've started to come to terms with the fact that this is going to really happen. I've got to wait 6 months before I can get the surgery and I am only in my 2nd month. I see the surgery as this far out and distant adventure. This has been my problem. This is real. This is  going to happen and I have to make some major life changes. The sooner I start the easier this transition is going to be on me. I have to buy a food scale. I have to keep record of everything that goes into my mouth until my new life becomes second nature. I have to stop drinking liquids when I am eating. This has to become habit now. This is not a drill. Things are about to change in a major way and acting like they aren't or saying how I can deal with the changes later isn't going to do anything to help or assist me on this new journey. I want to be successful. I want to healthy and thinner with ever fiber of my being. I deserve it and I don't want to be the reason I fail. I've gone my whole life blaming how I was raised, being poor growing up and not being taught how to eat properly. I've blamed low self esteem and no time to exercise. I've tried every diet under the sun and always given up after I've lost my normal 30 lbs. This can actual change my life and if I am the reason I mess this up, I will never forgive myself. 

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