4 months 10 days!

Jan 30, 2011

 Well I had an interestingly slooooow weight loss since New years eve. I finally weight 242 so 50lbs lost on new years eve!  Then i lost over the next 4 weeks ONLY 5 LBS!!!! :( I was very frustrated but i continued to eat what i was supposed to and I stepped up my exercise.  Kettlebell, and scult/shape class at my local YMCA! :) I am keeping up with my protein shake either in the morning or the evening. I still eat cottage cheese, frequently eat chilli (my fav is wendys) with added cheese and jalapenos. I had to cut back on eating sliced cheese, cubed, and string because the plumbing is getting backed up! :(  I have added more activia light yogurt daily to try and get it going again. I LOVE to eat shrimp and it has alot of protein in it.  

Clothes wise I bought a pair of workout pants in an XL!!!!!! they fit great i am in love with them.
I cant really find jean because my 22's are WAY HUGE, but the 20's unless there stretch there WAY TIGHT in my thighs still. I have gone down in my undergarments abit, but pretty much the same. Which shows me I was probably squeezing myself into clothes that were TOO small. LOL

I have been searching for a psychologist because sometimes i just get feelings about what if i fail, if i eat more i worry if i am sabotaging myself. Also some ppl in my life say comments about how i am not "fat" like them anymore, and it makes me upset. who would WANT to stay fat if they didnt have to?

I do feel like a whole new exciting world is opening up for me! I dont feel so gross in my clothes anymore, i feel so light. I fit in chairs better. I have lost a TON of inches I KNOW!! I feel like I am actually going to be a "normal" person in the world were "normal people" are excepted. I also feel i am enter unknown territory b/c skinny girls kinda look at me with "hate" in there eyes or i feel like some of them do. I have always heard i have a pretty face and I dont want to be competition for anyone. I am a nice person, and i am SO THANKFUL TO GOD for allowing me a second chance to be healthy, and happy in this body he gave me. I can move around better, i am not so exhausted from cleaning the house, or walking or daily living! 

This surgery was a huge blessing for me. I too wish I would have done it earlier but its done and I am greatful for this new life that I have a chance to live!

I am worried about eating too much. I still CRAVE sweets that is a personal daily battle. I am trying to keep exercising! I am going to good will soon to get me some cheap pants, and shirts for daily life and work.... because big clothes are so SLOPPY i am OVER THAT! :) 4months YAAA WHOOO!!!

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