Fear

Jul 27, 2011

I have been feeling some kind of way lately. Most of note was yesterday when my mother said she's noticing me eat a lot lately. Like, I snack too much during the day. I wasn't conscious I was doing it of course, but it made me panick. I'm nowhere near eating the amounts I used to. However, it would suck hardcore to stretch my stomach and be back in the same boat again. I don't ever want to go back to where I was. It would be too painful even though the eating was delicious. I had to make a big sacrifice when I broke up with food but I feel better about it lately. It's still a fear that's always in the back of my head, the fear of failure and gaining back what I'd lost weightwise. I will have to review my habits with a fine tooth comb and be honest with myself and make a plan of action. I don't want to sabatoge myself. I don't want to go back to where I was. I feel sad lately a lot too and stressed out.

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