Getting Help

Jun 17, 2011

I'm ready to accept I cannot do this on my own. I made an appointment with my PCP to discuss the following issues:
*I can't focus at work
*I'm always very very busy
*I can't seem to prioritize
*I obsess over trivial matters and tasks
*I don't have time/make time for things I really enjoy (I haven't written in weeks)
*I'm very easily angered
*I'm very easily offended
*I'm snacking a lot at night even though I know better and feel guilty the entire time
*I'm irritated by other people and take a lot of advice the wrong way
*I run between exhausted and super energetic rarely with any happy medium

This is the complete opposite of a me I recognize. And it's distressing. I realize I may need medication, but I'm not sure what type. Has anyone else gone through this? If so, what did they say was wrong with you? What did they give you? Anyone who really knows me, knows that the fact I'm even considering medication for something mental, will understand that this is huge. I grew up believing that if you had to resort to medication or couldn't fix things yourself then you were a failure. Let me clarify that this upbringing is not something I project onto others. If you need/chose to medicate that is your personal choice and I do not judge any by the same standards I've been raised to judge myself. It's like when I feel I was disgusting at my high weight, I don't associate "oh so n so weighed more than that so since at x number of pounds i was disgusting they must be hideously disgusting at xx pounds!" no, not at all. every person is seen foremost in my mind as a person and not by their size or issues. I'm hardest on myself, and nicest on my friends and loved ones. Just wanted to make that clear since I've unintentionally offended people in the past who overidentify with me and take what I say as a personal attack on them. It's not. This is my blog, it's all about me :)
Now I know better, sometimes you just need help. I'm not expecting a cure all in a small small. I don't expect it to do much more than help me focus to make the changes I need to. Kinda like WLS, sure it reduced my stomach size, but I have to make the right food choices, milkshakes can slide right on through, can't they? I just need a little help, and I'm grateful I can recognize it.

Please share your experiences and maybe together we can all get through this.

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