Where do I fit in?????

Hi Daniel,

Each of us have felt what you are feeling and share in your concerns. We are so focused on getting to goal, getting that weight off, not failing "again" that when we finally get there it's kinda like a "huh" moment.

What helped me with stopping the weight loss was adding 500 cals a wee****il it stabilized. It took a few weeks but I was working out hard and found it was around 3000 cals a day. I lost my mind with that number LOL Try this and see if it helps. My husband was over 6' and when he got under 200 he really looked bad so where you are now is understandable and you know what number is best for you

Skin, skin, everywhere. I too didn't think PS would be of interest to me but my oh my, when I looked in the mirror it was like a 98 year old melting woman. Seriously, it undid (mentally) all the good that number on the scale was suppose to. I had to put towels under the flaps of skin and wear two girdles we called them back in the day. I ended up with empty tube socks where the chest use to be and had to use bandages to work out.

Try as I did and find a balance, give yourself credit where credit is due. Losing over 200 pounds is HUGE my friend, feel good about it. Let it fill you with pride as you deserve.

If the skin continues to be a issue for you go for it. If you have any medical issues document it and take photos, it may help your insurance pay for some of it. This is a personal journey and it's different for each of us. Some are fine with no PS others feel incomplete without it. I felt incomplete and looking back after 13 years the PS I had was just as important as the WLS.

Hang in there, you are worth it, we are here for you and contact me any time if you want to talk!

Thank you Kathy! I appreciate you taking the time to respond and sharing part of your story.

Thanks again!

Daniel, our stats were fairly similar. I'm 6'3", and started out about 475. My surgeons goal was 250, but my own goal was 225.

I sailed past both of those. I hit 182 for about five minutes, and sat between 195 and 200 for the past several years. Trust me, it's not too skinny.

And remember, while regain is NOT written in stone, the reality is that between 2 and 4 years post surgery, most people have significant regain. My advice, for what it's worth, is keep losing. It gets much harder to lose weight further out from surgery. Not because of our bodies, but because of our brains.

You are used to seeing a super-morbidly obese you. 214 is not too small for your height. Lose some more. A lot of those wrinkles will start to disappear on their own. And no matter how you look, trust me, you look better than you did at 447.

Hang in there. This is the easy part. A couple years from now is a LOT harder, and having a 20 or 30 pound cushion now will be like a gift from above.

Thanks Grim! I appreciate your insight and taking the time to respond.

Cheers

Daniel,

You are definitely not alone. The mental adjustments you are experiencing are all normal. It takes the brain a while to catch up and recognize the loss and yourself. Acceptance comes.

There are things you can do to tone the muscles underlying the excess, now is a good time to center on tightening and allowing your tissue to readjust. Using a high value nut/seed like brazil nuts or pumpkin seed could add valuable nutritional benefits for your overall health. an ounce of each of them alternating might be a good place to start..I would urge caution. stopping weigh loss is much easier than re-starting it.

I am 23 years post op, and my weight loss slowed drastically at 9 months..with only 30 lbs over the next 6 months..I did get to goal+, and did regain 10 lbs with heavy increase in activity, then just in last few years re gained to 180( #30total) ... now struggling to loose back, return to better health, to the 165 range...after high stress enviroment for 3+ years. When in a physically demanding job, I used the ladies compression garment(girdle) to support the loose skin, and it will help using compression garment to help those jiggleys. also do the abdominal exercises to srengthen the abdominal muscles..pull abdomen.. up and back..

I should have had plastic surgery, but was not an option, no insurance that covered and little money..

.If you can get the surgery for removing excess skin, it is a worthy goal.

You are worth it. What can you do.now? The changes on your acceptance begins within you. Each of us have to determine our own way, This is how I did it... Look in the full body mirror with your compression garments and without them... acknowlegdge yourself and your body changes now, ...acknowledge your needs for skin removal... acknowledge your SUCCESS!

I knew i was successful when my 11 year old daughter came to me and said..." Mom, you have to go to the Doctor!" I asked why..she replied," You have a knot on your neck!" . I asked her to show me,... she showed me my collarbone. (LOL) She had never seen it before.

Measure your bicepts!, measure the calf muscles! measure your success by not only your changes in your pants /shirt size, but by the abilities you are gaining. Count those.. consider what you can do now that at your heaviest you could not do... Think and answer this question for yourself.. I could walk____ distance(before), I can walk ____, Now. consider do you want/ Have you tried a 5 K? What else is on your 'wish to do" list? climbing?, camping? hiking? make your list, begin to have fun! All these type things will help you mentally turn the corner to accept, where you are now.

In doing so you will be able to transition to an even more positive change,when you do have PS. Working on your insides is imperative..

Visualize and Be the type of person you want to spend the rest of life with...you will attract that person naturally. Don't worry about what others think now, Just work on yourself, your plans, your goals.

Find a way to give back to others.part of the time... center on others,... Some ideas... make an appointment with a rescue group and walk the dogs? .play music? do crafts? or just listen to someone who is lonely... check on an elderly neighbor, family or friend... volunteer to read to others, at a local library..

Be patient, don't rule relationships out, the right person will accept you as you are now and as you break out of the shell of your former self. If you should find that person now, don't pre judge them, after you are around them for a bit you can tell them of your journey.If they are truly "the one".. they will stick.

The easiest time to loose is first year, getting to healthy now is the best time you will have and that includes you mentally to catch up to your physcial loss. Take time for yourself, and to work on the things you choose.

You have done exceptional in this journey! you are almost there. Keep on, you are doing fine...chill. Give yourself a break. Don't be bad talking yourself- there are plenty others who will do that... Be sweet to yourself. SMILE. Take good care of yourself.

Can I just say that you fit wherever open arms are available to HUG YOU!!!!

I feel you with the compression garments and cannot wait to get plastics, but sadly I do not feel that they will be in my future.

You are beautiful and maybe your suitor is afraid to approach you for those very same reasons... remember to go out with an open mind, friends and if something develops then awesome... if not, you've gained some "friendly-weight"

It was so wonderful to see you and HUG YOU!!! Here's to next year!!