Struggling

I will have to look into the online OA meetings.

Melissa, the online OA meetings are so great. You can just sit there and read the posts as they are happening live and only join in if you want. They are perfect for doing with littles around. You can get up and get some juice and go right back to the meeting. Hmm. Maybe I need to do this again myself...

Yep, I believe they have online meetings.  That may be a good place to start.

That's not an excuse, it's reality - I get it!  Parenting 4 kids is a lot of hard work and a lot of stress!  Maybe try getting them involved somehow?  OA meetings are also on-line and there's telephone conference meetings too, pretty much any time of day or night, so maybe that would help?  You'll figure it out, just be careful not to put YOU on the back burner.

Most of the time, to keep my daily life going, my household going etc ...me on the back burner happens, like it or not.

I have people tell me ALL THE TIME that I will miss these days when my kids are small, and damn it I love them, and I know its true.  But not being able to take care of myself because there isnt enough hours in the day...THAT I will not miss.

My hubby used to work evenings & weekends, me days- during the week. Like you I was the 'primary' parent. I think I spent the first 6 yeas of their lives on the back burner. Randomly i would get fed up and complain to my hubby- and he'd try. He told me to get that new dress- go get my nails done- we'll manage- he said. But I wouldn't believe that he meant it- or my self esteem was so crappy I didn't think I deserved it.

I remember telling my surgeon the similar things- no time to exercise- the kids are young, need me etc. Surgeon sat down next me to me and looked me squarely in the eye and said- your kids will leave home, and they won't/rarely call. He said his kids do it-- and honestly- I do it with my parents. He said you need to preserve you when the mommying ends. I decided to take his advice to heart. All be it that it more possible since the kids are older and hubby and i are on the same  schedules-- but I refuse to let work or kids jeopardize the few things I set aside just for me-- (my make-up obsession, and my exercise are top of my me list currently.) 

Making time for me....so great in theory, but really, you cant get blood from a stone!  Unless locking my kid's in their room and going to workout somehow became legal?!?! 

I get it-- and yes there was a time where I couldn't get out and exercise. Do what you can at home (I loved walk away the pounds DVD's). You mentioned teenagers- are they responsible enough to look after the younger 2 for any amount of time?

Trust me- it gets better-- I see light at the end of the tunnel (or its a train barreling towards me :-) 

Our 15yr old is with her mom during the week mostly.  Our 13 year old does karate 5 nights a week and honestly is NOT the babysitting type, but will help if I really need it. 

When I try working out at home the little one likes to try and trip me up...or try to jump on the treadmill while I am using it! Lol

I wish that I could open up a gym that offered quality day care for its members. Hell a chain of gyms! The one gym that I like (Harbor Fitness) offers day care for anyone who works out & its open 24 hours most days of the week which is what really appealed to me. Maybe something like this is in your area.