Heart broken

To succeed with your new surgery and goals is overwhelming enough that you don't need a BF to  be worried about if he is self centered.  I know you are hurting now but you will change into a butterfly and be free to fly in a few weeks.  Take this time to enjoy your new life.  Get into your new diet routine, exercise, and have no worries about whether he is jealous or resentful.  This is a good time for this to happen,  trust me.  Use this time to your advantage,  Don't forget to post pictures of your progress.  Smile.

Thanks for your advice!

Hi,

I just wanted to send you a great big ole hug as you deal with this unexpected turn in your life. Remember, it can only get better from this point. Don't forget to take care of YOU!

Thank you so much I deff need hugs :)

I am so sorry you are going through this, my heart aches just reading your story. Sending big hugs ((((((((((hugs))))))))) positive energy and healing light for the broken heart your way. It is okay to cry and to process and purge this pain my beautiful sista but for your own sake do no dwell for too long in a place of sadness. You are beautiful and undeserving of this...  While you are going through surround yourself with the love of those *****ally care, your family, real friends... Seek peace and beauty within yourself and your surroundings, seek beauty in nature and wrap yourself in it enjoy the sun, enjoy the rain, check out the beauty of a snowflake. Take this time to pamper yourself and do not let this moment define you for it too shall pass whether this is just a bit of turbulence in your love story that would eventually resolve itself or whether you cut this joker loose (personally I would tell this one to hit the road but only YOU know whether or not he is a keeper) .. do YOU, love YOU because at the end of the day when this is over and done with you will be stronger. Do not fill yourself with hatred nor resentment and do not hold a grudge because they cause wrinkles and sap energy ...they dim one's inner light and make one look and feel ugly... Do get rightfully angry but don't act on your anger ... just use that anger proactively to propel you towards your goals .... don't let it weigh heavy on you and hold you back.. You deserve love and happiness and where one hurts you there are so many out there even The One who will love you just the way you are... again ((((((((((big cyber hugs))))))))))) .. from a sista on the journey...

If he really and truly loved you having the surgery wouldn't have made him break up with you. Losing a limb wouldn't make him break up with you, being a ***** to him wouldn't make him break up with you. If you truly love someone, you put up with the good and the bad. Obviously, a bump in the road sent him running away. Nice to find that out now - really, than later when you're married and things get rough. Be glad you found out now. Now you are free to take care of yourself, get healthy and find someone who deserves you. After 2 years together you wanting to be healthier should have been his top priority too. Guess he was only thinking of himself. Shed your tears, deal with the pain, then move on. Life is too short to tolerate people who don't respect us and love us for who we are. You need to eat and drink or you'll get sick - that won't help anybody. I'm sorry you're going through this but if the surgery was the deal breaker - it may not have been that strong a relationship in the first place. This surgery will show you who your TRUE friends are. Hang on to them dearly and let the rest go.

Jen 12 yrs post op RNY

I know it does not seem like it now, but you are going to be so much better off without him.  Just think if you or a child had come down with a terrible illness and he had just walked out the door on you.  That is not the kind of man you want to spend your life with.  Just focus on feeling better, working the doctor's plan and starting your new life.  You are soon going to be looking real good and you can put your high heels on and go out and look for a someone else to spend time with.

You choosing to have WLS when he was against it is almost certainly NOT the real reason he broke up with you.  As a counselor I see it all the time.  Just because he seemed happy to you doesn't mean that he was, in fact, happy... especially when he gives the "I just want to experience the single life" line.

Him leaving is NOT because you are trying to get healthy.  That may ne a small part of it, but it is NOT the primary motivation.

Move on with your life.  Commit to doing what you need to do (eating and drinking) to strengthen yourself, body, mind, and spirit. You ARE better off without him, especially if he couldn't even be a man and be honest about WHY he wanted out of the relationship.

Lora